So I'm having some new OCD that's really scaring me, at least I am wondering if it is OCD.
I have a lot of trouble with "vows", I have probably made thousands of them. They affect me all day long.
I am currently on a business trip that was supposed to be 3 weeks long. I want to be home, not out here. When we got here, we found out it was going to take roughly 6 weeks.
So I was going to send them an email and tell them I am not available for travel for more than 3 weeks. I did some "vows" relating to sending the email, and the final one I'm really worried about.
I was checking my sent mail, I think obsessively to make sure it sent, I think because I had maybe "vowed" to send the email and worried had to send it right then or something, or at least around then, but I can't 100% remember all this stuff. I think it sent it last week sometime. I ended up "vowing" to close the email program on my phone, with the condition that if I didn't I would have to stay out here for the whole trip. I think I may have already used the "or 'vow' to stay out here for the whole trip" type counter "vows" multiple times regarding this email.
So, since I had "vowed" to close the email program, I did, but then got worried I had to turn my phone screen off as well, but I didn't, and then I was worried I violated the "vow". I don't know if turning on the screen was actually part of the "vow", but I got worried about it after I think.
Some time during or after doing this, I thought I was told by God that if I violated the "vow" and went home early that I would not be able to drive anymore. This is really scaring me, how do I know if this is from God? Does God even punish this way? Would he expect us to abstain from something? Or would He not expect us to do something for the punishment?
Living in the USA, it would be very difficult in many place to be without a car. I'm even worried now that I wouldn't be able to use other forms of travel like biking.
I really want to go home, and they need a decision very soon, today preferably because I would be going home Saturday if I go home early.
I'm really scared, I can't imagine not being able to drive, and I'm worried that if this is really God saying that, and I do keep driving I would end up in a state of constant sin. This is really scary. I want to go home! I don't know what to do. I'm also worried that even if God wouldn't punish me for this because it may be OCD, maybe He is upset with other sin in my life and that would affect whether He punishes me.
Also, I have a wedding to go to that would be right after I return home, if I return home after 3 weeks. If I don't go home early I will be missing that too. Which my work already said was ok to come home for.
Thanks
I have a lot of trouble with "vows", I have probably made thousands of them. They affect me all day long.
I am currently on a business trip that was supposed to be 3 weeks long. I want to be home, not out here. When we got here, we found out it was going to take roughly 6 weeks.
So I was going to send them an email and tell them I am not available for travel for more than 3 weeks. I did some "vows" relating to sending the email, and the final one I'm really worried about.
I was checking my sent mail, I think obsessively to make sure it sent, I think because I had maybe "vowed" to send the email and worried had to send it right then or something, or at least around then, but I can't 100% remember all this stuff. I think it sent it last week sometime. I ended up "vowing" to close the email program on my phone, with the condition that if I didn't I would have to stay out here for the whole trip. I think I may have already used the "or 'vow' to stay out here for the whole trip" type counter "vows" multiple times regarding this email.
So, since I had "vowed" to close the email program, I did, but then got worried I had to turn my phone screen off as well, but I didn't, and then I was worried I violated the "vow". I don't know if turning on the screen was actually part of the "vow", but I got worried about it after I think.
Some time during or after doing this, I thought I was told by God that if I violated the "vow" and went home early that I would not be able to drive anymore. This is really scaring me, how do I know if this is from God? Does God even punish this way? Would he expect us to abstain from something? Or would He not expect us to do something for the punishment?
Living in the USA, it would be very difficult in many place to be without a car. I'm even worried now that I wouldn't be able to use other forms of travel like biking.
I really want to go home, and they need a decision very soon, today preferably because I would be going home Saturday if I go home early.
I'm really scared, I can't imagine not being able to drive, and I'm worried that if this is really God saying that, and I do keep driving I would end up in a state of constant sin. This is really scary. I want to go home! I don't know what to do. I'm also worried that even if God wouldn't punish me for this because it may be OCD, maybe He is upset with other sin in my life and that would affect whether He punishes me.
Also, I have a wedding to go to that would be right after I return home, if I return home after 3 weeks. If I don't go home early I will be missing that too. Which my work already said was ok to come home for.
Thanks
