rules and DID

[Joy]

Am so sorry you went through that. I relate to what you said about panicking in church. I get that not just with church but with Bible reading and prayer etc.
I hope you realise that God really has compassion on YOU. And in your case the person who “ministered” to you was wrong.
That isn't the case with me. The Holy Spirit told this woman these thingsa bout me so I guess she wasn't wrong. Somehow I still find it hurtful though. Silly of me really.

How do you know it was the Holy Spirit who told the woman these things about you?

 

[Dave-W]

OK - I have some questions for you all.

DW and I both are survivors of abuse - mine physical (frequent beatings) and hers sexual (frequent molestations by an older teen relative). It happened when we both were in grade school.

As to this DID you mention - Do you mean dissociative identity disorder? What are the signs of this? I suspect my wife may have developed it to soften the abuse she suffered.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is when there are two or more distinct personalities in one body. Each part has it's own distinct personality. The host may or may not be aware of the part(s). Parts have been known many times to be representative as people or animals. They may have their own voices, ages, gestures, dress code, etc.

Switching (the process of one part being in control of the body while the host or another part isn't) between parts and the host may result in amnesia for periods of time. It may result in out of body experiences, or feeling compelled to do things but not quite understanding where that is coming from. There may be voices inside the head (not external) like conversations being heard, that are different than hallucinations.

These are some common symptoms seen in individuals with DID. DID is classically misdiagnosed, as it is a rare diagnosis, and significantly more survivors experience PTSD than DID. Some professionals do not believe in DID at all. So finding a therapist who works with survivors with DID may be challenging in some areas where there are limited treatment providers or treatment providers with little experience in trauma treatment recovery.

Alters and the host may experience depression, eating disorders, self-injury, alcohol or drug abuse, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, etc.

 

[Dave-W]

Hmmm. I have seen DW show the amnesia thing when talking about sex. Sometimes 5 minutes later she would swear we never even were talking. Early in our marriage during intimacy she would seemingly go into a trance and become totally unresponsive until after it was over. If I tried to get her attention she would sometimes fly into a rage. Afterward she could not remember it at all.

Does that sound like DID?

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

There's really no way to be able to say online because it's too complex. If you think that might be the case, I'd suggest talking to a counselor who specializes in trauma. That way they can really look at all the factors and dynamics going on.

Even in therapy, it generally takes more than one or two sessions to determine if someone has other parts.

 

[Johnnz]

You might try asking for that 'psrt' if thst's what its to talk to you. That may not happen, even if it is DID. But I generally find many 'parts' will respond to actually being treated as real and will respond.

John
NZ

 

[KayJoy]

You might try asking for that 'psrt' if thst's what its to talk to you. That may not happen, even if it is DID. But I generally find many 'parts' will respond to actually being treated as real and will respond.

John
NZ

EXCELLENT!! I totally agree with this! I can sense the amazement inside myself at this response.... wow....

 

[Dave-W]

Psrt? Do you mean "part?"

 

[Johnnz]

Psrt? Do you mean "part?"

Yes. My typo.

John
NZ

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

You might try asking for that 'psrt' if thst's what its to talk to you. That may not happen, even if it is DID. But I generally find many 'parts' will respond to actually being treated as real and will respond.

John
NZ

Good point. Affirmation of a part when one is DID can be very comforting and validating. It allows the ability to open the door for healing and to work through lots of things.

Lots of parts however, are quite frightened to show themselves because of prior treatment however, so as already said, may not respond.

 

[KayJoy]

Good point. Affirmation of a part when one is DID can be very comforting and validating. It allows the ability to open the door for healing and to work through lots of things.

Lots of parts however, are quite frightened to show themselves because of prior treatment however, so as already said, may not respond.

This is great advice, and I agree with you, Kristen. The internal reactions when I read both John's and your comments were amazing! Although, it has to be a setting that feels safe to alters/parts. My alters almost never write in a public/semi-public forum. Some others may have alters who do. But in a setting that feels safe, say, with a face to face meeting with a person I/we trust, this is exactly the type of response that helps alters feel validated.

Kristen, I have a highly complex DID system with what is called a 'presenter system.' This in effect, hides the DID from being discovered by outside people, because all presenters answer to the birth name, and inside parts can present through them, giving a very seamless switching. Are you familiar with this type of system? There's a WHOLE lot more to it, with other alter systems who do not answer to the birth name.... even some who have separate names can present through the front/presenters.

Any thoughts on this?

 

[Johnnz]

That's often due to specific programming to prevent/counter discovery and counseling. Trust over time, word of knowledge and Jesus intervening directly can get around that with a counselor experienced in that approach. Hard to find though.

John
NZ

 

[KayJoy]

Yes, it is due to programming. And I'm not saying I haven't gotten around this to reach alters, because alters come forward all the time to share things. But still, outwardly, no one would detect the presence of alters unless they knew what to look for. And on especially difficult days, when "falling apart" is unavoidable, I make sure I'm in a safe place to allow Jesus to do His work... as alters are ready to come to Him.

 

[undercoveremo]

My name is Madison I am feling so totally alone with everything. People do not understand me on any level really. Just a daily nightmare. I try not to be pessimistic i really do.

 

[Johnnz]

My name is Madison I am feling so totally alone with everything. People do not understand me on any level really. Just a daily nightmare. I try not to be pessimistic i really do.

Finding someone who takes each of you seriously without judgement can be so reassuring.

John
NZ

 

[undercoveremo]

there are very few who do take us seriously. especially church people who label us with certain things. pretending in church is one of my pet hates....sigh.

 

[Johnnz]

there are very few who do take us seriously. especially church people who label us with certain things. pretending in church is one of my pet hates....sigh.

I suspect most church people do. Honesty could be somewhat risky. But for anyone not deemed 'normal' they do have barriers to surmount, even though we know so much more about mental health issues today.

John
NZ

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

My name is Madison I am feling so totally alone with everything. People do not understand me on any level really. Just a daily nightmare. I try not to be pessimistic i really do.

Hi Madison, I'm glad you posted. Everyone here is a caring bunch. While we each have our own struggles and issues, and we don't "know" each other except as we share, we do support each other. I hope you'll hang out and get to know us and let us get to know you.

This is great advice, and I agree with you, Kristen. The internal reactions when I read both John's and your comments were amazing! Although, it has to be a setting that feels safe to alters/parts. My alters almost never write in a public/semi-public forum. Some others may have alters who do. But in a setting that feels safe, say, with a face to face meeting with a person I/we trust, this is exactly the type of response that helps alters feel validated.

Kristen, I have a highly complex DID system with what is called a 'presenter system.' This in effect, hides the DID from being discovered by outside people, because all presenters answer to the birth name, and inside parts can present through them, giving a very seamless switching. Are you familiar with this type of system? There's a WHOLE lot more to it, with other alter systems who do not answer to the birth name.... even some who have separate names can present through the front/presenters.

Any thoughts on this?

I think that many systems do what is necessary to protect the body from further harm. I've seen this system with some. While I've met a few with DID who have 3 or 4 parts, most that I have met have had a much more complex system with layers of parts. Some systems don't cooperate cohesively, so there is much disruption and it is evident to others that something is wrong, even if they don't know what.

In my experience, unless people have already had experiences with those who are DID and recognize the signs, most people don't have a clue and wouldn't know. They would make assumptions, but would most likely assume wrong about the issues at hand. For example, having one part that presents as more energetic, while another part presents as depressed, could actually look like someone who is bipolar. Even professionals struggle to accurately assess and diagnose, so it's not uncommon that individuals who are not in the professional field would have no clue what is going on, or would base their assumptions on what they've "heard" or "seen" going on in those around them previously.

I think for me, this is what caused the greatest part of the loneliness. Needing to be loved, parts needing to be loved, but fear of sharing for fear of being rejected. Then fear that I wouldn't be believed or understood, then the challenge of who to trust... it was just overwhelming. I finally trusted a nurse on the psych unit I was on one time, only to learn over time that she was DID. It was like I sensed she was trustworthy. She already knew I was DID before I told her she said, but that's because she was too. I had no clue about that though until later. We stayed in touch for a long long time.

 

[Dave-W]

Here is a question - if someone does something sinful in one of the parts - and the other part or parts may or may not be aware of it - does the part that actually did the sinning have to repent and confess; or can another part do that? The same with forgiving?

Does that question even make any sense?

The reason I ask is I think my wife has this problem due to severe abuse as a kid and she has spoken forgivenesto the person but that is in her main self - not necessarily the part that was severed off to absorb the abuse. And she has done stuff from that other part that I have told her about but she does not remember but apologizes for. But there has been only marginal change.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

That's really a good question.

God knows each person and what each person is aware of and capable of. With God knowing what is in the heart and mind of each person and each part if she is multiple, then He is more than capable of forgiving no matter who requests it, and He's more than capable of working on the heart of the one who is having issues.

I wouldn't personally worry so much about who asks for forgiveness. As not every part knows that they are in the here and now time as opposed to back then when the abuse was happening, the way their job descriptions give them a way to process or behave, may seem like a sin but it's really a coping mechnism from the past to keep the body safe during the truama.