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rules and DID

KayJoy

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I have been met with so much condemnation that, to be honest, it is now my expectation. I am genuinely surprised when anyone is kind to me. I try not to let the DID and other issues of abuse be obvious to other people but there is only so much I can hide. I was having a quiet conversation with a close friend about me being sexually abused as a child, and a couple of women overheard and have on several occasions told me that I have sinned for having sex before I was married. I have been told that I am committing the sin of unforgiveness because I refuse to have anything to do with my biological father. It would be dangerous for me to have contact with him and if I did, I would continue to be abused, if not worse. I have other examples of being condemned but if I wrote about all of them, it would be a ridiculously long post. The worst part of all this is that the people condemning me are the people who should be reaching out and helping me - my church. It has made me feel even more shame than I already felt.

I'm sorry you've been met with more abuse from people who are supposed to represent God. :( I do understand, though. I was turned away as well, from people in a church who said they were my friends and loved me. I ended up leaving the church world (building) pretty much altogether for about 5 years now. I have attended a church here and there since, but not consistently.

After being turned away, while dealing with the pain of that, plus walking through some pretty dangerous situations on my own, I wrote something called "The Dissociative Church." It's kinda long, but I could share it privately if anyone wants to read it.

The basic message of the writing is this.... God walked me through the pain and being able to accept my friends where they were. They said over and over how they were here for me, and I could share anything... but when I did, it was too much for them to handle, and they dissociated from it, because what I shared with them was shocking to their 'system.' They pushed me away, being I was the source of the disturbing information.... their "dissociation" came in the form of hurtful words, avoidance, "prayers" that felt condemning, on and on.... I had to come to the place that I was willing to accept that they dissociated the same as I had, but in a different way.... :/ It didn't help me feel less alone, but it did make room for me to be able to forgive them, and eventually, I went back to that church and was welcomed with open arms... but I still kept my boundaries.

The thing I want to be careful of is.... I want to be able to receive love from others in the way that they are able to give it (as long as it isn't harming me) ...boundaries are good, and necessary .... but (for me) my goal is to receive love (that genuinely comes from God) and also to give love... this is the gist of my process ... my goal is "freely you have received, freely give." NOT to my detriment or hurt (abuse) ... but with wisdom.

I don't know how I got off on that.... it was more for me, than directed at anyone here. I needed to type this out.... it's been a rough day....
 
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Dave-W

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Which is why although I'm a Christian I really hate that part of my dad`s God. There is evidence that the abuse occurred and that it damaged us profoundly but my dad says God told him I'm just feeling sorry for myself

I am sorry, but that was NOT God telling him that. At least not the God of the bible. This is how the God of the bible is:

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

IMO either your dad was listening to something manufactured by his own mind or he was listening to the devil. Either way it was just plain WRONG.
 
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KayJoy

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I am sorry, but that was NOT God telling him that. At least not the God of the bible. This is how the God of the bible is:

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

IMO either your dad was listening to something manufactured by his own mind or he was listening to the devil. Either way it was just plain WRONG.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 
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KayJoy

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I have often found there is a occult basis for extreme abusers that led to DID. Consequently there is a deliberate distortion of God, plus an appeal to divine authority that justifies the abuse. Horrible.

John
NZ

This is true... I experienced both... cult abuse, and religious cult abuse... they work hand in hand... one covertly, and the other under the guise of "Christianity" ... but they were basically, one and the same. I think you understand what I mean.
 
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undercoveremo

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I understand how you feel Madison. Most days it feels like my head could explode because there's so much going on and it can get quite confusing. I'm learning about my parts and my past, and I often want to deny that it happened and that this is my reality. The switching, amnesia, flashbacks, nightmares, confusion, loss of sense of self and fear are all really hard to cope with and manage without having to worry about forgiveness as well. Don't be so hard on yourself. I'll let you into a secret about me.... I haven't forgiven those who abused me. Part of that is because I don't know everything that happened to me, which makes it hard to forgive, but much more of it is because I'm not ready. I really don't think either of us are doomed because we haven't forgiven those who have hurt us. I don't know, it might happen one day. I can't say what will happen in the future but one thing I do know is that Jesus loves us and that will never change regardless of whether either of us ever forgive or not.

Does any of this waffle help?
Hannah

thanks for that Hannah. Yes it does help as i can see that im not alone :) sometimes lessening the isolation is what helps the most.
 
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Kristen.NewCreation

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I have often found there is a occult basis for extreme abusers that led to DID. Consequently there is a deliberate distortion of God, plus an appeal to divine authority that justifies the abuse. Horrible.

John
NZ
:thumbsup:
 
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LittleH

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thanks for that Hannah. Yes it does help as i can see that im not alone :) sometimes lessening the isolation is what helps the most.


Yes the sense of isolation is awful. I feel it too, so I do understand. I'm glad that I could lessen it a little for you. I think it's really important to hold on to the fact that you don't have to do anything you don't want to, and that includes forgiving those who have hurt you. Personally I think you should ignore anyone who is telling you that you have to forgive or you'll be doomed for all eternity. Those people aren't helpful and clearly don't fully understand what Jesus is about.

You don't have to say but what support do you have? I'm asking because it can get so very lonely going through all this and it does make a big difference if you can have some support.
 
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Dave-W

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I have often found there is a occult basis for extreme abusers that led to DID. Consequently there is a deliberate distortion of God, plus an appeal to divine authority that justifies the abuse. Horrible.

John
NZ

Are you sure that the occult and ritual abuse leads to Dissociation and not to actual demonization? The 2 situations can look similar.
 
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KayJoy

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Are you sure that the occult and ritual abuse leads to Dissociation and not to actual demonization? The 2 situations can look similar.

Severe early childhood trauma leads to DID, no matter if it is SRA or not. Severe brokenness always creates places for possible demonic attachments. But, the cult purposefully sets up situations and scenarios that invite the demonic, so it is more prevalent with survivors of SRA. This does not eliminate the fact that survivors of SRA develop DID. I should know...I am a survivor of SRA.
 
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Dave-W

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This is true... I experienced both... cult abuse, and religious cult abuse... they work hand in hand... one covertly, and the other under the guise of "Christianity" ... but they were basically, one and the same. I think you understand what I mean.

Have you ever read the book "Toxic Faith" by S. Arterburn?

580408.jpg
 
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undercoveremo

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Yes the sense of isolation is awful. I feel it too, so I do understand. I'm glad that I could lessen it a little for you. I think it's really important to hold on to the fact that you don't have to do anything you don't want to, and that includes forgiving those who have hurt you. Personally I think you should ignore anyone who is telling you that you have to forgive or you'll be doomed for all eternity. Those people aren't helpful and clearly don't fully understand what Jesus is about.

You don't have to say but what support do you have? I'm asking because it can get so very lonely going through all this and it does make a big difference if you can have some support.

Hi there :) yes i do have some professional support, however desperately want to talk to others with the same experiences as me. Feel like a freak. Often feel like im the only one going through the daily issues, however I do know there are plenty of people the same as me. Most christians seem not to understand or say DID is demonic possession when I know its not so i keep quiet in christain circles usually. Except if one of the ''parts'' comes out of course...and then i worry about peoples reactions. But I shouldnt as there isnt anything that I can do to change how it is at the moment.
 
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Dave-W

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Most christians seem not to understand or say DID is demonic possession ....

Yeah - in the parts of the church that actually believed and did something about demonic attachments ALWAYS taught that the multiple personality issue was purely demonic. Interestingly, many also taught that every sickness whether cancer or the common cold was demonic in origin as well.

Well - that is just plain wrong. There are organic illnesses and there are demonic illnesses. And yes, someone who is demonized BY DEFINITION has a multiple personality situation since demons are disembodied persons with their own will, emotions and intelect separate from the "host."

But it seems there are also organic cases of broken or split personalities from any number of sources. I know several in the deliverance ministry that came across certain alternate personalities that would not/could not be exorcised from the person - you cannot cast out the person themselves out of their own body. I have come across that myself.

IMO it comes down to a lack of using the gift of Discernment of Spirits in order to tell whether a maladay - be it DID or the common cold - is demonic in origin or organic or a combination of the 2.
 
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Strachan

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Yes, I have seen it done many, many times and I have also ministered on a number myself with the same success. The summary is this: Jesus Christ is the healer, and only through Him is the integration possible. It is beautiful to see. Also, the Gift Discernment of Spirits helps at times. Sorry, I know I am being cryptic, but this is a deep subject, and not understood by most people - or at least, most people are unaware of this phenomena of DID. Truth is there many people that have DID and are not aware of it.
In earlier thread above someone refers to demonic - again, there is a component of that at times with some parts but certainly not all, it depends on each case. The actions that brought the DID can certainly be viewed as evil.
God bless.
 
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Dave-W

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Yes, I have seen it done many, many times and I have also ministered on a number myself with the same success. The summary is this: Jesus Christ is the healer, and only through Him is the integration possible. It is beautiful to see. Also, the Gift Discernment of Spirits helps at times. Sorry, I know I am being cryptic, but this is a deep subject, and not understood by most people - or at least, most people are unaware of this phenomena of DID. Truth is there many people that have DID and are not aware of it.
In earlier thread above someone refers to demonic - again, there is a component of that at times with some parts but certainly not all, it depends on each case. The actions that brought the DID can certainly be viewed as evil.
God bless.

That is encouraging. Tell me - is there any accompanying counseling? And how exactly does Discerning of Spirits work in this case?
 
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