Hi all. So I probably relapsed. I have been using an old mj tincture that's been sitting around my house for the past couple years. Never could throw it out. It started when I took one of my husbands tramadols (old script only two left that he wasn't using) for some uti pain I was having. It felt good and I guess I wanted to keep feeling good like that. I didn't tell my sponsor that I've been using the herbal tincture. I haven't really gone to many meetings either. Missed church today. I'm just unsure about it all. The tincture has been fun and relaxing and I don't know if it's the worst thing I could do. It feels like if I admit I shouldn't be doing it and that it is a relapse then I have to face that I'm a pretty crappy person/failed/etc. "I just want to fee good" is going through my mind. Maybe that's the devil! But it does drain me to see "normal" people getting to relax and unwind with mind and mood altering substances and me not be able to. I guess I've been feeling the stress because my diets been limited (no wheat or sugar for the last 3 months!) due to ibs and I'm feeling like I can't indulge in anything anymore. (I know, being a baby, poor me, etc, but it's hard to fight and let's face it most people are indulging themselves all the time with food and drink. It's hard to be outside of all that) Anyway, going to go hike with my dog and thought I'd post about this here since I'm not sure what else to say..