Loss of sleep for neighbor?

[Migdala]

I have a neighbor who has a crush on me. I am in the middle of a divorce, and am not in the least bit interested in dating anyone, much less this guy. He's sweet, and very funny, and claims to be a Christian, but cusses like a sailor, and talks about sex continuously, no matter how many times I tell him how much it bothers me. Other than those two bad things, I really like being around him because he's a good listener and he's hilarious. But I can't deal with the cussing and sex talk.

I witness to him every time we talk, and I've bought him some Christian books and a new testament bible to carry around.

So here's the problem. The guy is an insomniac....so much that he goes days without sleep, even though he's on heavy duty sleep meds. He's very hyper and gets upset easily, so he could have a medical condition like an overactive thyroid or a vitamin deficency. I made the mistake of telling him that I have problems sleeping too, and am sometimes up all hours of the night trying to sleep.

Well, he started calling me all hours of the night...."just to talk". I told him that I don't want him calling after midnight because I have to have my sleep. So he'd call at 5am, 7:15am, 11:59pm, etc. etc. So I started taking my phones off the hook so I can get some sleep.

I have some serious health issues (Type 1 diabetes, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibroymalgia, depression, etc.) and if I go without sleep, it really messes me up physically. I try to go to bed around 1am and then I get up around 8:30....and I try hard to stick to that schedule. If I can't sleep, then I'm in bed TRYING to sleep!

So I had my phone off the hook the other night, as usual. I was very tired and went to bed earlier than usual. When I finally got up and turned my phone on, there was a rather rude, long message from my neighbor, chewing me out.....he had called around 12:30 I think it was, and he was very upset because I had not answered the phone when he called.

He could not sleep (as usual) and he just wanted someone to talk to-maybe that helps him sleep, I don't know. He really chewed me out and said something that really hurt me.....he said......

"Well, maybe you need to spend a little less time preaching at me and more time being a real Christian! I just wanted someone to talk to because I couldn't sleep-but you obviously don't want to talk to me! If you don't, then just tell me and I'll leave you alone!"

That hurt my feelings because I try so hard to be a "real Christian" and I don't know how much of my sleep I need to give up for this guy! I mean, as a Christian, am I supposed to compromise my own health and go without sleep, which will really mess up my sleep patterns, get my diabetes all out of whack, make the Fibro and Chronic Fatigue worse, etc, etc.

I really want to be one of those SELFLESS Christians who would jump out of bed at 3am to go help a friend...but honestly, I'm nowhere near that because of my health issues and my own lack of getting enough sleep.

If I don't get enough sleep, I get very moody and depressed, foggy headed, etc....and it really affects my job. I'm up for a job dialogue now and the managers are watching me like a hawk, and I've screwed up at work lately anyway when I have not gotten enough sleep.

So seriously...am I a bad Christian because I take my phone off the hook when I sleep? I tried calling the guy 3 different times to apologize to him for not being there for him when he needed someone to talk to when I was trying to sleep, but he refuses to pick up the phone. Obviously he's very mad at me.

 

[birernest]

No you are not wrong for taking the phone of the hook. He should be more sympathetic and understandable to your ailments. He knows that you need your rest, just as he does, only in a more significant way. Its very childish of him to get upset with you start throwing that phrase in your face "real christian". He really needs to grow up. You should just tell him that you can't talk to him in the late hours of the night, or the early hours of the morning. If he doesn't know about your physical condition, you need to inform him about it. Tell him that it is essential for you to get your rest. If he can't understand that, then you don't need him as a friend.

 

[Macx]

Forget about him, he sounds like a nut. Maybe even the dangerous kinda nut.

 

[Jonnley]

Forget about him, he sounds like a nut. Maybe even the dangerous kinda nut.

Migdala.

He talks to you about sex assuming you're as interested about it as he is.
He seems deceived that you're still interested despite u telling him you're bothered about it.
He misinterprets your witnessing as 'sermons' (like unbelievers and immature believers do).
He judges himself by saying be a 'real christian' by being un-understanding himself.

(Have you told him, you have illnesses, that's why you need rest?)

He saw your insomnia problem likewise as an opportunity to (seems) court.
And behind his 'fast' justification "I just want someone to talk" reveals his real motive.

Remember this verse "Out of the mouth comes what is from the persons heart, and what defiles a person."

I'm a man and I've been through younger times when my heart was evil. And I can see in this man that seemingly evilness.

(not judging but relating what i see, i would not remember these thoughts if God did not allow me to remember)

He seems dangerous. And needing the 'fire' of the spirit to bend straight his seemingly hard crooked heart.

Im suggesting you be at least be really careful, if your conscience can't simply just 'leave him to the spirits working for re-brokeness'.

 

[Quasicentennial]

I do not suffer any health problems because I am committed to going to church each Sunday, to be prayed by the prayer ministry team with their hands on the heads or shoulders of us church members while praying together .:*:. The fullness of healing of ALL diseases and emotional problems can really be felt with the real Jesus of Christianity .:*:. Many athiests choose to believe that luck comes from mother nature, and not the supernatural power of God .:*:. Going to church to witness the power of healing over Christians has to be seen to believe where faith in God makes fullness of healing possible .:*:. I pray that Jesus inside me to give me peace and healing, especially with the health benefits of blueberries concerning cancer and diabetes .:*:.
Having an answering machine connected to the phone for you and your friend can make life easier when answering his questions in your own time, leaving your answers on his answering machine .:*:.

 

[salida]

It seems like this guy is self centered and is trying to put you on a false guilt trip because he can't abuse you. Keep the phone off the hook-its called self defense. A christian isn't a door mat. God doesn't expect you to be abused and used. Talk to him when you have rested. I understand about the medical issues as I have a chronic one. Your health is first not catoring to his selfishness.

http://www.gotquestions.org/turn-other-cheek.html
　
http://www.gotquestions.org/bullying.html
　
http://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-persecution.html
　
　
http://www.gotquestions.org/Jesus-pacifist.html

 

[suzybeezy]

My guess is he lashed out because he figured out you were ignoring him and felt rejected. If the friendship is important to you, I'd probably have a very direct conversation with him - spelling everything out VERY clearly. I'd apologize for avoiding him and for not just being more direct. Tell him you value his friendship but there are some things that he does that bother you and you just need to be honest with him about it. If he slips up and crosses the line, be quick to remind him.

 

[bliz]

You are entitled to go to sleep whenever you want and it's no one's business if you have illnesses to juggle or not. A phone is for your convenience, and it's not convenient at 5:30am. You owe him no apology.

Let this sleeping dog lie if you can. He clearly is not stable, and is clearly not listening to you. If he's talking about sex, he's thinking about sex. Keep you distance.

Being a good Christian does not require you to befriend everyone you meet.

 

[forGod1]

You aren't less of a Christian because you need sleep.. he doesn't really need you, he's just immature, like you've said. You're right to get your sleep to control your sicknesses. Now if he knows how sick you are, and still said those things, maybe you should just stop talking to him all together.

 

[Migdala]

Ok, thank you everyone for all the wonderful advice! I left the message on his machine, and am not going to do anything more about it. I was trying to avoid him even before this happened, because of how he kept talking about sex, even when I was trying to witness to him. I had to hang up the phone on him one time because he said something of how Jesus was having sex with Mary Magdelene. I said "I'm not going to listen to you say stuff about Jesus like that!" and hung up on him.

I'm just going to avoid him altogether, and not answer the phone at all when he calls.

 

[Kaella]

Thats the best thing to do. He should never allow shame to be placed on someone other than hisself.

 

[Forealzchola]

you arent a bad christian, he is taking advantage of your kindness...if i was an insomniac and even if a friend had offered to be an ear when i couldnt sleep...i would still be considerate and not bother that person at all hrs of the night just cuz i couldnt sleep..hes rude and selfish..and has not right to go off on you...that reminds of a cousin i just had to cut out of my life...he would call 9-11 times in one day about nothing other than to talk about some guy smh

 

[Gregory Thompson]

I believe the psalms are a good source of comfort for sleepless nights . some of them were written during such .