Little help?

[IndomitableAmy]

(Yes, as always, I'm rambling.)

So apparently when you put someone on ignore, it takes any time they repped you off your list? That makes me feel a lot better... it was one of the things I was going to ask about... someone.. someone had repped me very unkindly, I thought.. In fact, had done so to tell me I was rude.. and I wanted to know how to get it to go away.. and, if that couldn't be done, to beg to repped until it got bumped off the page. Nice that's included in ignoring someone. Sorry I felt I had to, but nice that it's included.

This week.. two and a half days, I guess.. I had more trouble. The trouble I had at the start of last month never went away.. I'm just living with it.. but, hey, for a while this week, additional trouble came. Lovely. But hey, at least it got better.. but better to this. I don't like that this is "better" now. Sigh.

Anyway.. so again, I couldn't remember hardly anything.. and I was freaking out. (Seems this last time, I wasted no time in freaking out.) I posted a thread.. but not here as I guess I didn't have a tab open here and hadn't read the explanatory note yet. No, I posted it in the women's forum and if you happen to be of the female persuation (or, at least, icon), you can check it out if you want. Now, understandably, most that responded didn't have a clue what was going on.. and, equally understandably.. neither did I, not outside of what I was told (and at that point, I hadn't been told much.) So after the thank yous and things like that, this leaves me responding to things that I feel deserve particular response.. explaining, clarifying, and asking for some of those, too.. If something doesn't make sense to me, I do tend to ask questions. Of course, I broke up long things into bites I could deal with. All this, I feel, is part of me doing the best I can. I thought I offended someone.. but apparently she thought she offended me. I still don't know what happened, but apparently neither one of us is or was offended, so that's ok, I guess. That would have been all there was to it.. but that someone else, someone who didn't even post, decided to send me a rep telling me I was rude. There I was, going on about all I was really sure of was my name, doing the absolute best I could and trying to keep it together.. when someone goes out of her way to tell me I'm rude. I.. I recently PMed this person to try resolve this or at least get an understanding.. and as far as I can tell, that has been denied me. I mean.. my questions have gone unanswered. As far as I can tell, I just that I was rude and that's all there is to it... Which leaves me profoundly confused. I mean.. I just don't understand... Why would someone tell me that, especially when I was in such a state? How can there be no further explanation? (and if there can't, why say it at all?) I really, truly, don't understand.. and the person in question wasn't willing to help me understand, apparently.. so I guess I come here because I know I've been most open here.. and I don't have any other unkind rep messages that I see.

I... I don't see what telling someone they're rude does but hurt them.. and.. why would someone want to hurt anyone having such trouble. I mean.. I'd think that if someone says, "The only thing I'm sure I know is my name.. I feel so lost", you might be inclined to have compassion and give them the benefit of any doubt unless you had very good reason otherwise. I know I don't have the best social understanding but even besides that, would you really expect someone having severe memory trouble to have the best understanding? I.. I just don't get it. Possible explanations, anyone?

And then I'm wondering.. do I belong? This does seem to be sticking.. and I don't seem to be religious (anymore). Once I figure out what to change my icon to.. it'd be really interesting the next time I said something about having trouble outside of this forum, I think.. I wouldn't doubt there'd be people who'd suggest it was God's judgment upon me or impell me to come back to God, stuff like that. That'd be rich..
But yeah, I don't feel like I fit. Here's nice, sure.. but I can't comment on most of the topics.. and elsewhere here.. my lack of faith would be a reason to see me with distrust, I know that. And, oh yeah, apparently I'm rude.

I don't know where else to go. (Contact me if you have any suggestions.. seriously. Even if I stay here, that could be good.. and at least could prevent this from coming up in the future.) I... I need an online community in order to remain anything reasonably close to sane (being in absence of a physical one that covers the need.)

Sigh. I hope I didn't do anything wrong. I'm getting sick of being afraid to post.

 

[ChooseTheRight]

Hi Amy,

First thing i will say, Take note of your username and be brave. As you have suggested yourself, stay here. WWMC as far as i remember, welcomes anyone. Even people that dont know who they are.

They seem to put up with me, so that must be a good thing.

I really dont understand why someone would say your rude and then not explain themselves. If anything, they are the rude one here. Amy, take this advice please, some people are jerks for no other reason, than to be jerks. Its the way they see fit to be, so let them be and you stick with people that will talk to you with the same love and kindness you speak to them.

I hope that you will be blessed by whomever or whatever you finally choose to follow or if not, then i simply wish you well.

Jay

 

[SpiritDriven]

Hello Amy....

It was no mistake that you are in this part of CF....God brought you here.

Have a read of some of my posts, and feel free to make your own comments and make your feelings known.
Do not respond to anybody who is rude to you....I will not be rude to you.

Grace and peace to you Amy....always!

 

[IndomitableAmy]

Threads for some background (as much as I have..):

Last time I forgot and haven't recovered from
The religion thing

Probably should have done that first.. but hey, you don't always do the most appropriate thing when you're upset.

Hi Amy,

First thing i will say, Take note of your username and be brave. As you have suggested yourself, stay here. WWMC as far as i remember, welcomes anyone. Even people that dont know who they are.

They seem to put up with me, so that must be a good thing.

I posted, didn't I?
To me, fearless seems more akin to foolish than it does to brave. I'm fairly sure it wasn't a lack of fear that I called myself that (I have plenty to be afraid of).. but foremost a thing of endurance. That.. that I do. I always go on, but it does get quite hard sometimes...

And yeah, they do here. Have. Something like that.

I really dont understand why someone would say your rude and then not explain themselves. If anything, they are the rude one here. Amy, take this advice please, some people are jerks for no other reason, than to be jerks. Its the way they see fit to be, so let them be and you stick with people that will talk to you with the same love and kindness you speak to them.

I don't understand why either. Sigh. I did take the initiative to try to resolve the issue.. but I guess I shouldn't have expected much, given that, yeah, this was the person who just said I was rude. I guess I assume people are doing their best (unless I have good reason to think otherwise). I know I'm always doing my best, though admittedly what is "my best" changes (much more than I'd like.) But.. yeah.. I guess either that person was just being a jerk to me or has social issues worse than mine. Either way, I should stay away from people that hurt me.
I don't always speak loving-kindness, I expect.. and I certainly hadn't to that person... but I hadn't spoken anything to her. To me, that makes it even more perplexing.

I hope that you will be blessed by whomever or whatever you finally choose to follow or if not, then i simply wish you well.

"Finally" could be a long word in that context. Waiting till the end of the world or just my life?
As far as I can tell, it's not a "choosing to follow" but a "finding out what I already follow." It's in the second thread I linked, but I didn't choose to be a non-theist, not in the least. It happened in that moment a little more than a month ago when I forgot.. I do seem to be a pathological atheist, that is, one brought about by a disease. Literally. *shrug* Strange but true.
I'll take the well-wishing.

Nice to meet you, Jay, and thank you for your response.

 

[IndomitableAmy]

Hello Amy....

It was no mistake that you are in this part of CF....God brought you here.

As far as I'm concerned, if there is a god, he/she has bigger things to answer for. Foremost in my mind (ha ha), is why strip away my faith? It does seem to me that if there is a god, that god would rather I not believe.

I might start a thread on that.. there does seem to be an issue of "God did [such-and-such thing I like or can see value in]" that simply doesn't make sense to me. Would that be good, you think?

Have a read of some of my posts, and feel free to make your own comments and make your feelings known.

I've read them, at least the recent ones. The threads do not seem to leave room for me to comment, at least not unless I want to comment on "Gehenna", which.. I could, but I really don't see the point of my doing so. I could post that if you like.

Do not respond to anybody who is rude to you....I will not be rude to you.

I can't do that, at least not unless the person is egregiously rude. I am the kind who wants to see things made right. I also know that my words can be taken poorly.. so I do like to make sure.

Grace and peace to you Amy....always!

Maybe this is meant only as a general "I wish you well" thing, but just in case it's not, I'd like to know.. "Peace", I understand, but what do you mean by "grace"?

And, you, also.. thank you for your response.

 

[ChooseTheRight]

I posted, didn't I?

Yes indeed you did. Thank you.

To me, fearless seems more akin to foolish than it does to brave. I'm fairly sure it wasn't a lack of fear that I called myself that (I have plenty to be afraid of).. but foremost a thing of endurance. That.. that I do. I always go on, but it does get quite hard sometimes...

Fearless without thought, would be foolish. But you do not strike me as someone who doesnt think. To think something through and still to do it, i would call that brave. Many who have been called brave, have been called so, because they endured. Not because the performed one single act.

I don't understand why either. Sigh. I did take the initiative to try to resolve the issue.. but I guess I shouldn't have expected much, given that, yeah, this was the person who just said I was rude. I guess I assume people are doing their best (unless I have good reason to think otherwise). I know I'm always doing my best, though admittedly what is "my best" changes (much more than I'd like.) But.. yeah.. I guess either that person was just being a jerk to me or has social issues worse than mine. Either way, I should stay away from people that hurt me.
I don't always speak loving-kindness, I expect.. and I certainly hadn't to that person... but I hadn't spoken anything to her. To me, that makes it even more perplexing.

As i said, Its there problem. You dont alway have to speak loving-kindness, to be a loving and kind person. It would seem to me, to be more a state of mind, than an actual way of speaking. Sometimes the most loving and kind thing you can do, is tell someone what they need to know, even though you know it will hurt them.

"Finally" could be a long word in that context. Waiting till the end of the world or just my life?
As far as I can tell, it's not a "choosing to follow" but a "finding out what I already follow." It's in the second thread I linked, but I didn't choose to be a non-theist, not in the least. It happened in that moment a little more than a month ago when I forgot.. I do seem to be a pathological atheist, that is, one brought about by a disease. Literally. *shrug* Strange but true.
I'll take the well-wishing.

Then that is what finally means to you. Find out what you already follow, then come back here and tell us. We might even learn something.

Nice to meet you, Jay, and thank you for your response.

Your welcome. Feel free to drop on by for a chat anytime. Im usually lurking around somewhere.

 

[SpiritDriven]

As far as I'm concerned, if there is a god, he/she has bigger things to answer for. Foremost in my mind (ha ha), is why strip away my faith? It does seem to me that if there is a god, that god would rather I not believe.

I might start a thread on that.. there does seem to be an issue of "God did [such-and-such thing I like or can see value in]" that simply doesn't make sense to me. Would that be good, you think?

I've read them, at least the recent ones. The threads do not seem to leave room for me to comment, at least not unless I want to comment on "Gehenna", which.. I could, but I really don't see the point of my doing so. I could post that if you like.

Go right ahead Amy, we are all here to learn from each other...I never said I have all the answers....if you disagree with me on anything...thats quite ok

I can't do that, at least not unless the person is egregiously rude. I am the kind who wants to see things made right. I also know that my words can be taken poorly.. so I do like to make sure.

Maybe this is meant only as a general "I wish you well" thing, but just in case it's not, I'd like to know.. "Peace", I understand, but what do you mean by "grace"?

Grace is unmerited reward Amy, it is somthing God decided to extend to all people via the Cross of Jesus Christ

And, you, also.. thank you for your response.

Peace

 

[Catherineanne]

I... I don't see what telling someone they're rude does but hurt them.. and.. why would someone want to hurt anyone having such trouble. I mean.. I'd think that if someone says, "The only thing I'm sure I know is my name.. I feel so lost", you might be inclined to have compassion and give them the benefit of any doubt unless you had very good reason otherwise. I know I don't have the best social understanding but even besides that, would you really expect someone having severe memory trouble to have the best understanding? I.. I just don't get it. Possible explanations, anyone?

I think what you are struggling to come to terms with has something to do with Narcissism, which is related to, if not identical with, sociopathy.

In brief, there are two kinds of people in this world. The first kind, even if you have inadvertantly hurt them, will meet you half way if you apologise and say, as you did, 'have a heart I am having a bad time'. They may still feel a bit disgruntled but they will understand that your personal situation may be influencing how you post/behave/speak.

Then there are the sociopaths. If you say the same kind of, 'have a heart' message to them, they will see it as a sign of weakness, and most likely, if they reply at all, their next message to you will be an attack of some kind. They will ignore anything you say about what is happening in your life that is causing you pain, because they are not interested. They are the centre of the universe and demand your attention to their needs, but will never meet anyone else's needs. If you ever see them laugh, it is always laughing at other people and their pain, never just laughing at the absurdity of life. But they will not feel obliged to respond, because you are there to meet their needs, not the other way round.

I think the best thing is just to accept that ordinary, normal people will never really understand how a sociopath works, or what their lives are like. The only real option, if you become a target for one, is to put them on ignore.

As for the 'you are rude' thing, that looks to be a narcissistic projection. People take bad bits of themselves, that they do not want to admit are there, and project them onto other people. All you need is a mirror, and you can bounce such comments back where they belong.

I am sorry all of this has happened to you, Amy.