Like me

[ace of hearts]

Let's take a poll...
By a show of hands, who wants me to post here in this thread?
Just raise your hand and I'll get someone to count 'em.

 

[Saint Steven]

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the news to me slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

 

[ace of hearts]

A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat. After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?” He responded with, “The cat is dead.” She cried out and said, “Why couldn’t you’ve broken the news to me slowly? You could have said the cat is playing on the roof on the first day, and the next say it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing's dead! Anyways, how’s my mom?” “She’s playing on the roof.”

You're ornery. Oh the stories I've heard about in-laws.

 

[ace of hearts]

Having some coffee and reading jokes this morning.

A mathematician comes home at 3:00 in the morning to find his wife waiting up for him.
"You're late!" she yells angrily. "You said you'd be home by 11:45!"
"Actually," the mathematician replies, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12"

 

[Saint Steven]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

 

[ace of hearts]

Good morning everyone. Hurry the pot is getting emptied.

I like engineers too -

A wife asks her husband, an engineer, "Darling, can you please go to the shop buy one pint of milk and if they have eggs, get a dozen!"
Off he goes. Half an hour later the husband returns with 12 pints of milk.
His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?"
"Well… they had eggs" he replied.

 

[ace of hearts]

Pouring some coffee and serving a neat quote today -

Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear.

Mark Twain

 

[Matthew-59]

I count 9 in there. Gotta admit I was kinda hoping for a few more than that. Like, oh I don't know, maybe a couple hundred or so.

 

[ace of hearts]

I count 9 in there. Gotta admit I was kinda hoping for a few more than that. Like, oh I don't know, maybe a couple hundred or so.

Unfortunately we don't have that many posting in this thread.

 

[Saint Steven]

What do you call a knight visiting a cannibal village? – Canned food.

 

[ace of hearts]

What do you call a knight visiting a cannibal village? – Canned food.

Interesting can.

 

[Saint Steven]

Interesting can.

Old technology. Quaint, even. Antique canned goods. But still just a knight job. lol

 

[Saint Steven]

The furniture store keeps calling me back… -- But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

 

[ace of hearts]

Old technology. Quaint, even. Antique canned goods. But still just a knight job. lol

Hope we can turn on the lights. I paid my bill.

 

[Matthew-59]

 

[ace of hearts]

Isaiah had a horse its name was Isme - he must have he was always saying Woe ISME

 

[ace of hearts]

Habakak had modern technology - in fact a watch ! which was one of those shock proof ones and he wanted to test it out . because he said "i will stand on my watch"

 

[brinny]

Q: How do trees get online?

A: They log in.

 

[ace of hearts]

Q: How do trees get online?

A: They log in.

OK I'll be a tree. I logged in.

No seriously I've been researching an answer for someone. So I've not been here in a couple days.

Speaking of logs, I've been burning old fallen dead ones for a week. I've got huge piles of them. Started smelling like smoke and even walked right up on a deer.

Hope no one ran out of coffee.

 

[brinny]

not a chance of running out.....

we gots lots o' coffee...another shipment just came in

(just don't get tooo tooo caffeinated tonight so's you can sleep)