Just don't understand religion.

[ashley13]

Hi guys.
I've always thought of myself a Christian(I know this specific forum is for non-christians, but I've seen some great advice come from this side of the site). I was baptized about 5 years ago, attended church/young adult group quite regularly. Read my bible, prayed, tried to have a relationship with the Lord, tried to do the right things. But so many times, I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. So often I find myself even wondering why I need religion, doubting what's real, what's not, what to believe, what to not. To me, religion and believing is hard.

No matter how hard I try to be a "good" christian, I always feel as though there is something that keeps me from getting too close, like there's a wall I can't quite break past. I've read the christian self-help books, I do hours of research, but I just don't feel like I'm able to get close to the Lord or have a relationship with him.

I think some of the problem is that I've always felt pressured from the churches I've gone to. "Why weren't you here last week?", "Why won't you go on a mission trip?", "Why don't you come to any services besides Sunday?". I've even encountered a person who told me I had a sinus infection because I wasn't fully saved.

I just have so many questions about things and half of the time I don't even know what they are. What do I do? I want to believe, and I want to have a relationship with Him. I just don't know how.

 

[Darkhorse]

A relationship with Jesus is just that - you and Him. Don't let other people and their superficial concerns get in the way.

Try keeping your Bible reading and prayer life more to yourself and less connected to the "church" scene. Church activities are good, but they are not the essence of Christianity (some people will disagree with that, but...) I say this as an elder in my church, and a regular attendee, but...it's you and Him.

I became a truly born-again Christian in my teens while dealing with difficulties and loneliness. The New Testament (in modern English) and lots of honest, uninhibited prayer brought me closer to Jesus and enabled me to listen to Him, which is essential. When that relationship is solid, everything else falls into place.

 

[ashley13]

I'm definitely not concerned too much with the church. I don't even belong to one at the moment. I've always felt like church is a nice addition to a relationship with the Lord, but not what defines it.

Thank you for your reply.

 

[lesliedellow]

You are probably asking too much of yourself too soon. God will remake you in his own good time, and, since he probably has several decades in which to complete his work, he may be in no rush.

 

[Radagast]

I think some of the problem is that I've always felt pressured from the churches I've gone to. "Why weren't you here last week?", "Why won't you go on a mission trip?", "Why don't you come to any services besides Sunday?". I've even encountered a person who told me I had a sinus infection because I wasn't fully saved.

Sounds like you've attended the wrong kind of churches.

 

[stevenfrancis]

Hi guys.
I've always thought of myself a Christian(I know this specific forum is for non-christians, but I've seen some great advice come from this side of the site). I was baptized about 5 years ago, attended church/young adult group quite regularly. Read my bible, prayed, tried to have a relationship with the Lord, tried to do the right things. But so many times, I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. So often I find myself even wondering why I need religion, doubting what's real, what's not, what to believe, what to not. To me, religion and believing is hard.

No matter how hard I try to be a "good" christian, I always feel as though there is something that keeps me from getting too close, like there's a wall I can't quite break past. I've read the christian self-help books, I do hours of research, but I just don't feel like I'm able to get close to the Lord or have a relationship with him.

I think some of the problem is that I've always felt pressured from the churches I've gone to. "Why weren't you here last week?", "Why won't you go on a mission trip?", "Why don't you come to any services besides Sunday?". I've even encountered a person who told me I had a sinus infection because I wasn't fully saved.

I just have so many questions about things and half of the time I don't even know what they are. What do I do? I want to believe, and I want to have a relationship with Him. I just don't know how.

Hi Ashley:
I will certainly pray for you. Unfortunately, if I want to remain in good standing with CF, I am unable to give you any of the advice I have for you, since you posted in a place where virtually any Christian advice would be considered proselatyzing. If you're interested, you can PM me, and I'd love to offer some encouragement and ask what all you have tried, and haven't tried.

As far as whether or not to even be Christian based on your experiences, please try not to judge the validity of Jesus Christ by people and places.

God bless,

Steve

 

[Lukaris]

I would suggest just try to live a simple Christian life as the Lord lays out in Matthew 6:1-15. This involves charitable alms giving & praying the Lord's prayer. A few dollars to charity, groceries to a food pantry etc. Salvation is by grace, by faith and from which good works proceed (Ephesians 2:8-10). Basic humane conduct with the overall idea of loving God & neighbor (Matthew 22:36-40, Romans 13:8-10). These are all good & basic things the Lord asks of us but the fallen world severely tests our faith (John 16:33).

For quick ref. on verses above see: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/

 

[Emmy]

Dear ashley13. Christianity is not a religion, Christianity is a relationship.
Jesus is our Saviour, Friend and Teacher. Matthew 22: 35-40: tells us:
" The first and great Commandment is: " Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself." In verse 40: Jesus tells us: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." In Matthew 7: 7-10: we are told: " ask and you shall receive," we ask for Love and Joy, then thank God, and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends.
The Bible tells us: " Repent and be Born Again," change from being selfish and unloving, to be loving and caring. A Christian`s weapon is Love, with love we will overcome all enmity and wrong behaviour, and we will find that people treat us the same as we treat people, kindness and compassion will
make our days loving and friendly. We might stumble and forget some times,
but then we ask God to forgive us, and carry on loving and caring.
The Holy Spirit will help and guide us, and Jesus our Saviour will lead us all the way: JESUS IS THE WAY. Keep asking and receiving, then share all love and joy with your neighbour. God will approve and bless you.
I say this with love, ashley. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[paul1149]

Hi Ashley,

It sounds like you've done a lot of very good things in order to get closer to the Lord. Jesus himself told us to "exert ourselves vigorously to enter the kingdom of God". But the full doctrine of God tells us that must be done in an attitude of faith, not based on human effort alone. Human effort alone amounts to "works salvation". These are "dead works" which bring the futility of law upon us. This is why Jesus calls to us:

​Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matt 11:28-30

We need to reach the end of our strength in order for His to begin. You can read about that in 2Cor 12, and about the glorious superiority of the New Covenant in 2Cor 3. And Hebrews 4 talks about the continuous sabbath rest we have entered into in Christ.

Jesus loves us so much, and we can do nothing without Him. Sometimes the biggest hurdle is to let go of our own efforts, which often are fear-based, and to really begin to trust.

 

[graceandpeace]

Hi guys.
I've always thought of myself a Christian(I know this specific forum is for non-christians, but I've seen some great advice come from this side of the site). I was baptized about 5 years ago, attended church/young adult group quite regularly. Read my bible, prayed, tried to have a relationship with the Lord, tried to do the right things. But so many times, I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. So often I find myself even wondering why I need religion, doubting what's real, what's not, what to believe, what to not. To me, religion and believing is hard.

No matter how hard I try to be a "good" christian, I always feel as though there is something that keeps me from getting too close, like there's a wall I can't quite break past. I've read the christian self-help books, I do hours of research, but I just don't feel like I'm able to get close to the Lord or have a relationship with him.

I think some of the problem is that I've always felt pressured from the churches I've gone to. "Why weren't you here last week?", "Why won't you go on a mission trip?", "Why don't you come to any services besides Sunday?". I've even encountered a person who told me I had a sinus infection because I wasn't fully saved.

I just have so many questions about things and half of the time I don't even know what they are. What do I do? I want to believe, and I want to have a relationship with Him. I just don't know how.

You're not alone. I struggle with faithfulness, with doubt & skepticism...

It sounds like you've been involved with unhealthy churches. I think a healthy church will give you space to grow, to doubt, to be honest about where you are, & to otherwise not be too pushy or controlling. When I left the conservative & evangelical scene for the Episcopal Church, I slowly found peace. The beauty of the liturgy & the Eucharist offered with dignity has been healing for me, like a breath of fresh air. I have found other liturgical churches to be healing as well.

Something else I find to be healing is knowing it doesn't matter how I "feel" spiritually - whether I "feel" God, "feel" close to Him, "feel" Christian, etc. Rather, what matters is how I live, what I actually do. It's in the day to day, like loving our neighbors by participating in a food pantry, donating money to help a poor person, visiting someone who is lonely, etc - that's what matters.

So no matter how you feel, pray anyway, love anyway, do good anyway, for in such ways we participate in the Kingdom of God. And perhaps after taking some time to research Christianity a little more (history, tradition, etc), try to find a healthy church home.

Good luck.

 

[4evrhis]

Hi guys.
I've always thought of myself a Christian(I know this specific forum is for non-christians, but I've seen some great advice come from this side of the site). I was baptized about 5 years ago, attended church/young adult group quite regularly. Read my bible, prayed, tried to have a relationship with the Lord, tried to do the right things. But so many times, I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. So often I find myself even wondering why I need religion, doubting what's real, what's not, what to believe, what to not. To me, religion and believing is hard.

No matter how hard I try to be a "good" christian, I always feel as though there is something that keeps me from getting too close, like there's a wall I can't quite break past. I've read the christian self-help books, I do hours of research, but I just don't feel like I'm able to get close to the Lord or have a relationship with him.

I think some of the problem is that I've always felt pressured from the churches I've gone to. "Why weren't you here last week?", "Why won't you go on a mission trip?", "Why don't you come to any services besides Sunday?". I've even encountered a person who told me I had a sinus infection because I wasn't fully saved.

I just have so many questions about things and half of the time I don't even know what they are. What do I do? I want to believe, and I want to have a relationship with Him. I just don't know how.

Sometimes he has to bring you away and out of the way of people to have the kind of relationship you need with him. People can be over whelming at times with all of their advice...you are on the right track because you are striving and searching. To be a "good" Christian you will never feel you are good enough , or adequate enough, this is to keep you humble before him. In time
you will grow and mature in him and have that peace, keep searching and praying my friend.

 

[oi_antz]

Hi guys.
I've always thought of myself a Christian(I know this specific forum is for non-christians, but I've seen some great advice come from this side of the site). I was baptized about 5 years ago, attended church/young adult group quite regularly. Read my bible, prayed, tried to have a relationship with the Lord, tried to do the right things. But so many times, I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. So often I find myself even wondering why I need religion, doubting what's real, what's not, what to believe, what to not. To me, religion and believing is hard.

No matter how hard I try to be a "good" christian, I always feel as though there is something that keeps me from getting too close, like there's a wall I can't quite break past. I've read the christian self-help books, I do hours of research, but I just don't feel like I'm able to get close to the Lord or have a relationship with him.

I think some of the problem is that I've always felt pressured from the churches I've gone to. "Why weren't you here last week?", "Why won't you go on a mission trip?", "Why don't you come to any services besides Sunday?". I've even encountered a person who told me I had a sinus infection because I wasn't fully saved.

I just have so many questions about things and half of the time I don't even know what they are. What do I do? I want to believe, and I want to have a relationship with Him. I just don't know how.

Hi Ashley, I am just wondering as I read this, why do you feel qualified to consider yourself Christian? I see you have been baptised and learned some stuff about Christianity. But what I can see in this, I am not certain that you have ever had an experience with Him that has convinced you that He is real. If that is the truth then I am led to further ask why you believe it at all. If you have had an experience that you consider to really be Him, I wonder then why you are not satisfied with your current relationship to Him. I am sure you can understand the situation if you get to the bottom of it. I am trying to understand the situation too.

 

[Magster1]

Please check out my site Spiritual Disciplines-bringing you closer to God as its what I've learned about religion and how YOU can incorporate it in your life to make it work for you and your lifestyle.

 

[drich0150]

Hi guys.
I've always thought of myself a Christian(I know this specific forum is for non-christians, but I've seen some great advice come from this side of the site). I was baptized about 5 years ago, attended church/young adult group quite regularly. Read my bible, prayed, tried to have a relationship with the Lord, tried to do the right things. But so many times, I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. So often I find myself even wondering why I need religion, doubting what's real, what's not, what to believe, what to not. To me, religion and believing is hard.

You need religion because it is the structure and discipline to protect use from the roaring lion seeking to devoure the weak and those who try an go it alone. However religion can also be a double edged sword, in that sometimes our devotion to the method of worship God can replace God Himself in our lives. Religion is best look at as a tool used to build a strong relationship.

No matter how hard I try to be a "good" christian, I always feel as though there is something that keeps me from getting too close, like there's a wall I can't quite break past.

then ask God to break that wall down for you no matter what it takes.. Whether your health wealth or happiness has to be on the chopping block ask God to take what He needs to so you may see and experience Him.

I've read the christian self-help books, I do hours of research, but I just don't feel like I'm able to get close to the Lord or have a relationship with him.

have you tried what Jesus Himself prescribed in Luke 11?

I think some of the problem is that I've always felt pressured from the churches I've gone to. "Why weren't you here last week?", "Why won't you go on a mission trip?", "Why don't you come to any services besides Sunday?". I've even encountered a person who told me I had a sinus infection because I wasn't fully saved.

then find a non toxic Jesus Chrst centered Church rather than a religious/works based church.

I just have so many questions about things and half of the time I don't even know what they are. What do I do? I want to believe, and I want to have a relationship with Him. I just don't know how.

The truth is none of us know how on our own. Only the Holy Spirit can Help. I not talking about you having to go into seizures while spouting jibberish. I am however pointing to the Measure of the Holy Spirit Jesus speaks of in the parable of the neighbor who sought bread from a neighbor at a late hour.

Only the Holy Spirit can bridge the gap you are experiencing with God, but if your faith is toxic/corrupt why would he bridge that gap and support a broken or hoplessly wrong religious view of Himself sending you off in the wrong direction?

No we must humble ourselves before God and Ask Seek Knock on his terms, and not that of our 'religious beliefs.'