Self hate

[Tellyontellyon]

I wonder how as Christians you deal with self hate? What aspects of the teachings and beliefs help you when you feel down on yourself, or even on the edge of hurting yourself?
Do believing Christians experience a wish to end their lives sometimes or does God transform them so they can no longer feel such things.
What happens to people who commit suicide... believers and non-believers.
If a person has an inner compulsion that they can't resist is it still a sin?
Cheers

 

[Joseph G]

I wonder how as Christians you deal with self hate?

Realizing that self-hatred is not humility. Humility is agreeing with God that one is a sinner, but then escaping the temptation to wallow in guilt and confessing so as to be renewed. It's a promise:

1 John 1:9 NIV

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Being continually cleansed enables one to be at peace with oneself and protected from the enemy's accusations. Peter is a perfect example of this promise. Since he had declared Jesus as Messiah prior to his denial of Him, he was ultimately restored to fellowship.

Self-hatred, on the other hand, was exemplified by Judas Iscariot. Though a presumably noble remorse, it didn't save him.

Just my opinion... if he had sought out Jesus after his betrayal instead of killing himself, and truly placed his faith in Him as his Redeemer, I believe He would have been forgiven.

What aspects of the teachings and beliefs help you when you feel down on yourself, or even on the edge of hurting yourself?

Being reminded of my identity in Christ:

Galatians 2:20 NIV

" I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Considering this, I have no right to harm my body intentionally:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

Do believing Christians experience a wish to end their lives sometimes or does God transform them so they can no longer feel such things.

Yes! Trials and tribulations can bring us to the edge of despair, too. But we overcome because of another promise:

1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

The result of enduring through faith, not just in this but in all temptations:

Romans 5:1-4 NIV

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

What happens to people who commit suicide... believers and non-believers.

I believe the Bible teaches that one who dies clinging to unbelief is doomed to eternal separation from God. They ultimately spit on Jesus' incredible unmerited offer of salvation through faith.

For the believer who commits suicide - there are many schools of thought amongst Christians. Some say the believer is still forgiven because Jesus says only blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is unforgivable. Others say blasphemy against the Holy Spirit can also be defined as dying in unbelief. Some say the Christian is incapable of either this blasphemy OR dying in unbelief.

For myself, I tend to agree with the latter - admittedly for purely subjective reasons. I came to the brink of suicide, as a believer, several years ago. I was at the point where I didn't care who it hurt - I felt I couldn't bear the pain of feeling like a pariah on this earth one second more (how I came to see myself that way is another story). Only two thoughts stopped me: this is gonna make God really mad and/or it would be proof that I wasn't really saved and would destroy whatever witness I had thus far proclaimed to the world. So I backed down. God kept His promise, He made a way out.

Over time He delivered me from the pain and despair, re-affirmed my TRUE identity in Him, and renewed hope and purpose. I've never looked back.

With hindsight, I've come to realize that if I had committed suicide, it would have been over a LIE. What a chump I would have been for not hanging on for one more day!

If a person has an inner compulsion that they can't resist is it still a sin?
Cheers

Yes. But friend, if you are speaking of yourself, understand where the compulsion is coming from. You have an active enemy who is tempting you towards self-hate, self-harm and suicide. He hates you because you are loved by God. He wants you to believe you are irredeemable - the big lie.

Here's the truth:

John 3:16 NIV

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

If you were the only person whoever lived, Christ still would have died for you - He loves YOU that much - just the way you are. That's why He created you - not just to save you but to lead you to fulfill HIS purposes on this earth. All you have to do is seek Him in faith and you will find Him - another promise every believer will testify is true:

John 6:37-39 NIV

"All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day."

I've said a prayer for you. Please let me know if I can be of any further help. Keep seeking and you SHALL find Him. God bless!

 

[Aussie Pete]

I wonder how as Christians you deal with self hate? What aspects of the teachings and beliefs help you when you feel down on yourself, or even on the edge of hurting yourself?
Do believing Christians experience a wish to end their lives sometimes or does God transform them so they can no longer feel such things.
What happens to people who commit suicide... believers and non-believers.
If a person has an inner compulsion that they can't resist is it still a sin?
Cheers

Joseph G said everything that I would have said.

 

[Tellyontellyon]

Joseph G said everything that I would have said.

Thank you for his answer.

 

[stevevw]

I wonder how as Christians you deal with self hate? What aspects of the teachings and beliefs help you when you feel down on yourself, or even on the edge of hurting yourself?
Do believing Christians experience a wish to end their lives sometimes or does God transform them so they can no longer feel such things.
What happens to people who commit suicide... believers and non-believers.
If a person has an inner compulsion that they can't resist is it still a sin?
Cheers

Getting down on yourself and feeling hopeless sometimes is a human state that we all can experience in varying degrees. There's many factors involved at the individual, family and societal levels. Family has a big influence, the bonds and relationships with have with our parents. Temperament also has some influence such as being introverted or extroverted, happy or ambivilent disposition.

Of course society. I think this is the biggest factor as to having a negative influence because basically this is all about outside expectations as to who a person should be like and these can change all the time and become unreal quite often. I don't think social media helps because though it can be great to connect with others it basically is an ideal platform to create unreal worlds of expectations such as with influencers. The one thing in common is that its all about others telling you how you should be.

You can change the other influences like individual and families influence by choosing do change what you can change within your own world you create within a society. If the people around you have a negative influence you can change it to positive by associating or connecting with positive people even if thats a church or a mentor or good friends. If you have personal issues you can work on them and feel better about yourself.

But its hard to change society and the world around you so we can't ever meet those expectations. Societies expectations are harsh, unreal, and will never be good enough. Its a false measure of what really counts because it only sees the outside personification of people and not what really counts in the spirit.

So we have to learn to look at God truth about who we are being all made in His image and are all equally His children. That true peace and happeness comes from storing up your riches in heaven and not in this world. That this world only offers a false way, truth and life and only in Christ are we measured as all being the same whether free or slave.

I like what Jordan Peterson says in his 12 steps for life about self worth. We should never compare ourselves to others because we are not others. To be a better person we need to compare ourselves with who we were yesterday.

 

[returntosender]

Realizing that self-hatred is not humility. Humility is agreeing with God that one is a sinner, but then escaping the temptation to wallow in guilt and confessing so as to be renewed. It's a promise:

1 John 1:9 NIV

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Being continually cleansed enables one to be at peace with oneself and protected from the enemy's accusations. Peter is a perfect example of this promise. Since he had declared Jesus as Messiah prior to his denial of Him, he was ultimately restored to fellowship.

Self-hatred, on the other hand, was exemplified by Judas Iscariot. Though a presumably noble remorse, it didn't save him.

Just my opinion... if he had sought out Jesus after his betrayal instead of killing himself, and truly placed his faith in Him as his Redeemer, I believe He would have been forgiven.



Being reminded of my identity in Christ:

Galatians 2:20 NIV

" I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Considering this, I have no right to harm my body intentionally:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."



Yes! Trials and tribulations can bring us to the edge of despair, too. But we overcome because of another promise:

1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

The result of enduring through faith, not just in this but in all temptations:

Romans 5:1-4 NIV

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."



I believe the Bible teaches that one who dies clinging to unbelief is doomed to eternal separation from God. They ultimately spit on Jesus' incredible unmerited offer of salvation through faith.

For the believer who commits suicide - there are many schools of thought amongst Christians. Some say the believer is still forgiven because Jesus says only blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is unforgivable. Others say blasphemy against the Holy Spirit can also be defined as dying in unbelief. Some say the Christian is incapable of either this blasphemy OR dying in unbelief.

For myself, I tend to agree with the latter - admittedly for purely subjective reasons. I came to the brink of suicide, as a believer, several years ago. I was at the point where I didn't care who it hurt - I felt I couldn't bear the pain of feeling like a pariah on this earth one second more (how I came to see myself that way is another story). Only two thoughts stopped me: this is gonna make God really mad and/or it would be proof that I wasn't really saved and would destroy whatever witness I had thus far proclaimed to the world. So I backed down. God kept His promise, He made a way out.

Over time He delivered me from the pain and despair, re-affirmed my TRUE identity in Him, and renewed hope and purpose. I've never looked back.

With hindsight, I've come to realize that if I had committed suicide, it would have been over a LIE. What a chump I would have been for not hanging on for one more day!



Yes. But friend, if you are speaking of yourself, understand where the compulsion is coming from. You have an active enemy who is tempting you towards self-hate, self-harm and suicide. He hates you because you are loved by God. He wants you to believe you are irredeemable - the big lie.

Here's the truth:

John 3:16 NIV

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

If you were the only person whoever lived, Christ still would have died for you - He loves YOU that much - just the way you are. That's why He created you - not just to save you but to lead you to fulfill HIS purposes on this earth. All you have to do is seek Him in faith and you will find Him - another promise every believer will testify is true:

John 6:37-39 NIV

"All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day."

I've said a prayer for you. Please let me know if I can be of any further help. Keep seeking and you SHALL find Him. God bless!

Wonderful thoughts and guidance!

 

[Psalm 27]

I believe that It's hard not to hate ourselves, when we come to faith.
People have said to me 'you have to forgive yourself', Who can forgive sins but God alone?

There are always consequences from our past sins. Coming to faith simply reveals that we were are/were without excuse.
Repentance, ie, a contrite heart, brings forgiveness. The scars remain, it can be regret.
I don't know about suicide victims, wouldn't like to judge. Somebody who wrote an assignment on Judas, said, much like us, he had a choice, and blew it.

 

[Tellyontellyon]

I believe that It's hard not to hate ourselves, when we come to faith.
People have said to me 'you have to forgive yourself', Who can forgive sins but God alone?

There are always consequences from our past sins. Coming to faith simply reveals that we were are/were without excuse.
Repentance, ie, a contrite heart, brings forgiveness. The scars remain, it can be regret.
I don't know about suicide victims, wouldn't like to judge. Somebody who wrote an assignment on Judas, said, much like us, he had a choice, and blew it.

If Judas hadn't 'blown it' how could the prophesies have come to fruition?

 

[AlexB23]

Joseph G said everything that I would have said.

Agreed. @Joseph G took the words out of my mouth also, and used verses to back up his explanation, which is what I have stated doing recently in my newer posts. He said everything so eloquently.

 

[bèlla]

I don't believe self-hate is an element of the Christian walk nor the willing state of one who recognizes the depth of God's love or the sanctity of being made in His image. To loathe oneself and contemplate harm is grievous. It's turning the blade upon oneself and slashing haphazardly. A destructive act that mars the beauty and fullness of our holiness. A wretchedness none should court.

We must be willing to give ourselves all that we did not receive. We must be willing to love ourselves when others have failed to do the same. We must marvel at the beauty none saw or treasured. We must speak kindly to ourselves and administer acts of kindness just because.

We must learn to see ourselves as He does and delight in what He's done. For we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Custom crafted by the Master's hand.

I've often felt this scene articulates that principle beautifully. The death of a spouse born anew as a work of art. It seemed plain to the onlooker until the blood touched its form and it became majestic. The instrument you're hearing is a Stradivarius. It's one of a kind as are we. How could you destroy it?

~bella

 

[timewerx]

The "self-blame", "self-hate", "victim blaming" culture is strong today.

Even Christians are sold into it, yet it is wrong. It isn't the truth.

Even if we think we made bad decisions on our own or consciously hurt other people, it isn't entirely our own fault. Whenever people sin, sin doesn't just affect them but also affect other people around them.

Therefore, your own mistakes are partly to blame from other people. Simply because we are living in an evil world where everyone sins. Even mistakes you consciously made are not entirely your fault.

To make myself clear, I'm not removing accountability when people make conscious mistakes since their sin also affects other people. You are also partly to blame for other people's mistakes. We all share the blame for all's mistakes. It's not just one person to blame but everyone who sins.

This is why if you have no sin, "cast the first stone".

 

[guyver]

This is why if you have no sin, "cast the first stone".

Oh yeah man have I seen plenty of that. Christians getting around with buckets full of rocks ready to let fly at others.