Is masturbation a sin?

[Guitaroman]

too many excuse fulfilling the sinful desire of the flesh and intellectually attempt to justify doing so.
instead of just being honest before God about it .

I have debated the topic in the past and having been set Absolutely free by the power of God - i will hold to what he has taught me (where unto you have already obtained walk by the same rule mind the same thing- paraphrased from philippians ch 3)

the truth is - we are called to walk after the SPIRIT and NOT after the flesh for the ways of the flesh are sinful from its center ,being the heart.
And the heart of man is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked .
So just be honest about it and don't ever try to justify the flesh or its desires . flesh always seeks to gratify itself - what spiritual good is it doing any one else ? none .. then it is not of the Spirit and not to be walked in.

God loves you ,and he knows and understands and has made a way in Christ for us all to be free from all sin . not just the sins you don't like .

I agree with all of this but the bold is hits me the most. It reminds me of the struggle I have now with being bisexual and the world trying to make it ok. I find the devil has really gained his ground now and he's trying to normalize sin little by little especially through sex and sexuality because he knows our desires from studying us.
I feel I can make it through this but to be honest I'm not there yet. I touch as well to straight porn and gay porn sometimes so I'm all messed up lol. What I need it seems is a way to stay away from the computer because all it does is amplify my lustful nature.

 

[Alithis]

I agree with all of this but the bold is hits me the most. It reminds me of the struggle I have now with being bisexual and the world trying to make it ok. I find the devil has really gained his ground now and he's trying to normalize sin little by little especially through sex and sexuality because he knows our desires from studying us.
I feel I can make it through this but to be honest I'm not there yet. I touch as well to straight porn and gay porn sometimes so I'm all messed up lol. What I need it seems is a way to stay away from the computer because all it does is amplify my lustful nature.[/QUOTE

what can i say - i was as addicted as it sound you are

ok thats enough of my words already for now.

this is what God says and what i held onto and would not let go

"i will perfect that which concerns you"

Now i will testify .. i asked God to set me free ..over and over and over and ..you get the picture ?

then i started believing he would and wanted to so i started listening to him .
so one day i'm driving along the road and in the distance i see i am approaching a very pretty lady .. and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said "TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY" .. i thought "that's nuts, hows that gonna help" .. But i did it . and it helped in ways i could not know at that time .(faith it)

"despise not the day of small things"
sure it was still a few years before i quite miraculously arrived at a place of absolute victory (God did it ALL) but it began with simply obeying him in the ONE THING he asked of me - no matter how infinitely small it seemed .

God bless you .. his mercy is new every morning and his love endures forever - he desires the absolute best for you and sin is the absolute worst .let him show you the way out

 

[Guitaroman]

I agree with all of this but the bold is hits me the most. It reminds me of the struggle I have now with being bisexual and the world trying to make it ok. I find the devil has really gained his ground now and he's trying to normalize sin little by little especially through sex and sexuality because he knows our desires from studying us.
I feel I can make it through this but to be honest I'm not there yet. I touch as well to straight porn and gay porn sometimes so I'm all messed up lol. What I need it seems is a way to stay away from the computer because all it does is amplify my lustful nature.[/QUOTE

what can i say - i was as addicted as it sound you are

ok thats enough of my words already for now.

this is what God says and what i held onto and would not let go

"i will perfect that which concerns you"

Now i will testify .. i asked God to set me free ..over and over and over and ..you get the picture ?

then i started believing he would and wanted to so i started listening to him .
so one day i'm driving along the road and in the distance i see i am approaching a very pretty lady .. and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said "TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY" .. i thought "that's nuts, hows that gonna help" .. But i did it . and it helped in ways i could not know at that time .(faith it)

"despise not the day of small things"
sure it was still a few years before i quite miraculously arrived at a place of absolute victory (God did it ALL) but it began with simply obeying him in the ONE THING he asked of me - no matter how infinitely small it seemed .

God bless you .. his mercy is new every morning and his love endures forever - he desires the absolute best for you and sin is the absolute worst .let him show you the way out

Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle, do you think god gets tired of me asking for forgiveness like 100 times for the same sin? I'm afraid that by doing that it makes it seem like I don't have faith in him which may be true . Anyway thanks for the words of wisdom, the small things huh? I wonder how may blessing I've missed out on over the years and times I may have won my battle with homosexuality if I just noticed the small things. Something for me to think about for sure but I tell ya overcoming these problems aren't easy for the moment.

 

[Alithis]

Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle, do you think god gets tired of me asking for forgiveness like 100 times for the same sin? I'm afraid that by doing that it makes it seem like I don't have faith in him which may be true . Anyway thanks for the words of wisdom, the small things huh? I wonder how may blessing I've missed out on over the years and times I may have won my battle with homosexuality if I just noticed the small things. Something for me to think about for sure but I tell ya overcoming these problems aren't easy for the moment.

well the lord Jesus loves you and is so pleased with you for asking forgiveness

but you must realize - WE. do not overcome these problems. rather he brings us into a victory that HE has already won..
just follow him in as he shows you the way .. no matter how small each step may seem to be

 

[Guitaroman]

well the lord Jesus loves you and is so pleased with you for asking forgiveness

but you must realize - WE. do not overcome these problems. rather he brings us into a victory that HE has already won..
just follow him in as he shows you the way .. no matter how small each step may seem to be

Makes sense, I dunno it just seems hard sometimes for me.

 

[Alithis]

Makes sense, I dunno it just seems hard sometimes for me.

sometimes we make it more difficult then we need to - we must trust God and allow the nature of Christ to work in us Godly repentance.
this is very different from intellectual repentance .

 

[RobZ]

i believe it is a sin
God made human sexuality for procreation and to form a bond between husband and wife, to be made one flesh as it says in the Bible
touching yourself is not procreative and it is not creating an emotional bond between husband and wife
so one it goes agianst what human sexuality was made for
also it focuses the mind on lust

do not feel alone, Jesus is with us always
to be honest, I struggle with this sin as well...
we live in a very very sexual culture so it is hard to avoid these kinda things
thank you for making this thread
God bless you

We have been married for 5 years now we are both still young 29. We had an very exciting and intimate sexual relationship until my wife was pregnant with our first child, then she said her hormones or body has changed since been pregnant.
She no longer have the need/or feeling to do it anymore, and when we do it is more just because she feel like she need to do it to please me. If I’m lucky this happens every 4 months maybe. She has no interest to go and see someone that can help us with this, she say I just have to accept the fact that things has changed and that she is does not have the same desires she had before because of the change in a female body after pregnancy. I lived on MB but now that I truly started to get my relationship with God right and now it does not feel right anymore, MB is not what God planned for us as men in a marriage. I tried talking to my wife about this so many times but every time is end up in a fight as she say I’m just thinking of myself and my needs as a man, and that I need to respect her needs and changes. I truly try to but I miss the intimate feeling between us. And I have no interest to cheat my wife and all I want is to have this the way it used to be between us or better, as I believe we as humans need to build things and relationships to better and not to worst. Please can we ask a Woman to give us guidance on this subject and to learn us men how we can maybe bring this conversation up with our wife’s so that they understand our needs but not feel that we are just men wanting sex, but that it is truly something deep inside our hearts that we want. Please I need advice. I have started praying to God about this today, and awaiting his wisdom and guidance.

 

[RobZ]

We have been married for 5 years now we are both still young 29. We had an very exciting and intimate sexual relationship until my wife was pregnant with our first child, then she said her hormones or body has changed since been pregnant.
She no longer have the need/or feeling to do it anymore, and when we do it is more just because she feel like she need to do it to please me. If I’m lucky this happens every 4 months maybe. She has no interest to go and see someone that can help us with this, she say I just have to accept the fact that things has changed and that she is does not have the same desires she had before because of the change in a female body after pregnancy. I lived on MB but now that I truly started to get my relationship with God right and now it does not feel right anymore, MB is not what God planned for us as men in a marriage. I tried talking to my wife about this so many times but every time is end up in a fight as she say I’m just thinking of myself and my needs as a man, and that I need to respect her needs and changes. I truly try to but I miss the intimate feeling between us. And I have no interest to cheat my wife and all I want is to have this the way it used to be between us or better, as I believe we as humans need to build things and relationships to better and not to worst. Please can we ask a Woman to give us guidance on this subject and to learn us men how we can maybe bring this conversation up with our wife’s so that they understand our needs but not feel that we are just men wanting sex, but that it is truly something deep inside our hearts that we want. Please I need advice. I have started praying to God about this today, and awaiting his wisdom and guidance.

 

[Simon_Templar]

We have been married for 5 years now we are both still young 29. We had an very exciting and intimate sexual relationship until my wife was pregnant with our first child, then she said her hormones or body has changed since been pregnant.
She no longer have the need/or feeling to do it anymore, and when we do it is more just because she feel like she need to do it to please me. If I’m lucky this happens every 4 months maybe. She has no interest to go and see someone that can help us with this, she say I just have to accept the fact that things has changed and that she is does not have the same desires she had before because of the change in a female body after pregnancy. I lived on MB but now that I truly started to get my relationship with God right and now it does not feel right anymore, MB is not what God planned for us as men in a marriage. I tried talking to my wife about this so many times but every time is end up in a fight as she say I’m just thinking of myself and my needs as a man, and that I need to respect her needs and changes. I truly try to but I miss the intimate feeling between us. And I have no interest to cheat my wife and all I want is to have this the way it used to be between us or better, as I believe we as humans need to build things and relationships to better and not to worst. Please can we ask a Woman to give us guidance on this subject and to learn us men how we can maybe bring this conversation up with our wife’s so that they understand our needs but not feel that we are just men wanting sex, but that it is truly something deep inside our hearts that we want. Please I need advice. I have started praying to God about this today, and awaiting his wisdom and guidance.

Is your wife a Christian?

 

[RobZ]

Is your wife a Christian?

Yes she is, we both are Christians.

 

[wrexsti]

men are very visually stimulated when it comes to sex.
women are stimulated by relationship and touch when it comes to sex.

Your wife might just not be getting the stimulation that she needs in order to put her in the mood.

Don't force the issue! with something like this: "You're my wife now, and I need a release."
If your wife submits to you only because she loves you, that is selfish and sinful on your part.

Try changing your approach?
Do something unexpected and/or romantic for her.
Tell her she is beautiful, EVERYDAY.
Surprise her with flowers for no reason.
IMPORTANT: Make her know that you care about her for other reasons than her body!
The little things is what mean the most.
Be her hero.

As far as covering the topic of masturbation, which I assume is why you are here, you should not be doing it at all.
Never use pornography.
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28)
Do you realize what this verse is saying?
If you look at a woman and fantasize something sexual, thats the same as cheating on your wife!
If its your wife you are fantasizing about, its still sinful because you are supposed to be one flesh; how can one flesh be so selfish?

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
Does masturbation glorify the Lord? Or is it selfish?
I can't imagine that you would do such an act in the presence of your parents, pastor, or Jesus.

Feel guilty after masturbating?
God gave us a conscious so we would know right from wrong.

 

[RobZ]

men are very visually stimulated when it comes to sex.
women are stimulated by relationship and touch when it comes to sex.

Your wife might just not be getting the stimulation that she needs in order to put her in the mood.

Don't force the issue! with something like this: "You're my wife now, and I need a release."
If your wife submits to you only because she loves you, that is selfish and sinful on your part.

Try changing your approach?
Do something unexpected and/or romantic for her.
Tell her she is beautiful, EVERYDAY.
Surprise her with flowers for no reason.
IMPORTANT: Make her know that you care about her for other reasons than her body!
The little things is what mean the most.
Be her hero.

As far as covering the topic of masturbation, which I assume is why you are here, you should not be doing it at all.
Never use pornography.
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28)
Do you realize what this verse is saying?
If you look at a woman and fantasize something sexual, thats the same as cheating on your wife!
If its your wife you are fantasizing about, its still sinful because you are supposed to be one flesh; how can one flesh be so selfish?

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31
Does masturbation glorify the Lord? Or is it selfish?
I can't imagine that you would do such an act in the presence of your parents, pastor, or Jesus.

Feel guilty after masturbating?
God gave us a conscious so we would know right from wrong.

[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']Thank you for the reply on my post, you have actually made so much sense in what you just said. I am truly trying to change in such a way that I treat my wife like a princess and make her feel so special, I cannot always afford buying flowers. I make her special coffe in bed every morning and run her bath water for her, and try to be the best I can be. I am also reading books and material to improve myself. I agree with you on the touch that is wrong, and I can feel it inside me that is is wrong after I have done it. So this is something I now need to try and learn of. It is just that it feel like I try so hard from my side to make our relationship better and to work to get things right, but she does not help. She get mad if I bring the topic on about our sexual relationship? Do you know of any books that I can maybe buy that would help me to master this topic and to know what Is required from me? [/FONT]

 

[wrexsti]

I literally just got done reading "Every Young Man's Battle" which is tailored toward single men struggling with sexual purity.

These authors know their stuff.
They put Bible verses in perspective and in an easy to understand way.
And uses real life examples and testimonies to help explain and fortify their argument.

Given my opinion of "Every Young Man's Battle",
I recommend for you: "Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman"

 

[wrexsti]

I also wanted to add: Don't give up on her!
You may need her help someday and you would hope she has the patience you gave her. Hopefully you can grow in Christ together.

 

[RobZ]

I also wanted to add: Don't give up on her!
You may need her help someday and you would hope she has the patience you gave her. Hopefully you can grow in Christ together.

Thank you for the reply, I will look this book up now “[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']Every Man's Marriage” [/FONT]
[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']I will never give up on her and will give her the time she needs, but what do you suggest I do now? Pray that God will help us to build a closer and more heavenly sexual life together as a man and husband? What would be the right thing to pray in this situation? I feel confused. I only recently started getting in close and stronger relation with God and he helped me with my work situation and then I started realize how he answers my prayers. But I need advice on what would be the right thing to pray? And do I need to speak to my wife again about our sexual life or will this only make her mad and push her further away from me, as she will then be feeling pressured to change, what is expected of me now, I am willing to give her the time she need, but this for me is hard as I am a very sexually boosted personal and have extreme needs that is hard to forget about or ignore, and that is why touch was a solution to my problem, but now that I know this is wrong, and I need to give her more time to work her part out how will I survive? Please help??[/FONT]

 

[wrexsti]

Please listen to this above anything else, YOU CAN PRAY TO GOD ABOUT ANYTHING.
You don't have to do a bunch of hail mary's or quote something.
You don't have to pray to a saint to pass on the message.
That's nonsense.
Pray directly to God.
God absolutely loves it when you pray to him; with whatever is on your heart or mind.
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6

Also you must realize that when you pray, God will meet your needs, but not always your wants.
"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." James 4:3
Live your life like Jesus, value what Jesus valued.
Pray to be more like Jesus.

Rely on Prayer. Pray always. Pray about anything; Help, thanks, guidance, anything.
Meditate on Scripture (read your Bible).

Pray for guidance on how to handle this situation with your wife.

You should treat her like a princess but not as a means to an end.
Don't treat her well only to get sex.
Thats insincere and she can tell what your underlying motives are.
That is probably the reason why she gets angry when you discuss it with her.
You should treat her like a princess because she deserves it.
After all, a wife is literally a gift from God. TREAT HER THAT WAY.


Your sex drive is only fueled by what you fantasize about during the day.
So saying you have extreme sexual needs is total BS.
You may think that "My testosterone is too high for my ability to control." or something along those lines. = Utter BS.

Lets also mention that God gave us our sex drive.
He wants us to desire a woman, our wife.
Without our natural sex drive, there would be no future of the human race.
But what God does not want that natural drive to be exploited... and Satan loves to ruin a good God-given thing.

Your sex drive basically has 2 parts.
Your natural sex drive and lust fueled sex drive.

the natural sex drive is when you are abstinent and build up too much sperm to get a nocturnal emission (wet dream).
Its like God's natural built-in relief valve to our spigot.

Your lust fueled sex drive is only filled by what you fill it with.
whether it be porn, fantasies, or whatever else gets you off.
You have to stop feeding that immediately.
The urgency to stop is NOW.

Once you realize you have a problem, you are already on the road to recovery!
It will not be easy.
I am, along with many many many men, deal with these issue on a regular basis.
Most ungodly opinions are to just touch and release the tension that way.
That is NOT God's standard. He does not want us to do that.
And yes, God's standards are high... But God's grace is everlasting!
If you screw up and fall into sexual temptation, don't shame yourself, but realize you are on a road to recovery.

Almost every Book in the New Testament has "flee from sexual immorality"
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18
Masturbation can cause you to feel distance from God.
But he is at your Heart's Door, knocking, Waiting for you to let him in.
You have to open the door to let him in.

Masturbation and Porn can most definitely become addictive.
It releases the same happy chemicals in the brain that heroin does.
and as the same with heroin, you crave more and more intensity, aka more hardcore porn and more risk.
You may end up watching a video on the internet after the deed is done and say to yourself "what the hell did I just touch to?! I'm not even into that!"

It's a horrible habit that needs breaking IMMEDIATELY.
Start setting goals for yourself to remain abstinent and pure.
Try to not look at porn or touch for 1 full day.
then if you fail or not, set the goal for 2 days.
then 4 days. then 8 days. and so on.


What's more difficult, but not impossible is to... Remove your temptations!
Throw out/Delete your porn collection.
Add an Internet filter, such as OpenDNS or CovenantEyes
Remove the cable tv box out of your room/house.
Extreme addictions calls for extreme methods.

And when you get really good at resisting temptation:
Train your Eyes to not look at women with lust... HOW?!
If you find yourself lustfully looking at women in day to day circumstances, train your eyes to avoid the sexual images, like If you see a women with a low cut shirt, and you expect it or know its a possibility, try to avoid it.

It's up to you to want to quit.
It's up to you to "flee sexual immorality".
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
God will never tempt you, but it is up to you to resist it.
As it says in scripture, God WILL Provide a way out!
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7

 

[RobZ]

Please listen to this above anything else, YOU CAN PRAY TO GOD ABOUT ANYTHING.
You don't have to do a bunch of hail mary's or quote something.
You don't have to pray to a saint to pass on the message.
That's nonsense.
Pray directly to God.
God absolutely loves it when you pray to him; with whatever is on your heart or mind.
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6

Also you must realize that when you pray, God will meet your needs, but not always your wants.
"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
"You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." James 4:3
Live your life like Jesus, value what Jesus valued.
Pray to be more like Jesus.

Rely on Prayer. Pray always. Pray about anything; Help, thanks, guidance, anything.
Meditate on Scripture (read your Bible).

Pray for guidance on how to handle this situation with your wife.

You should treat her like a princess but not as a means to an end.
Don't treat her well only to get sex.
Thats insincere and she can tell what your underlying motives are.
That is probably the reason why she gets angry when you discuss it with her.
You should treat her like a princess because she deserves it.
After all, a wife is literally a gift from God. TREAT HER THAT WAY.


Your sex drive is only fueled by what you fantasize about during the day.
So saying you have extreme sexual needs is total BS.
You may think that "My testosterone is too high for my ability to control." or something along those lines. = Utter BS.

Your sex drive basically has 2 parts.
Your natural sex drive and lust fueled sex drive.

the natural sex drive is when you are abstinent and build up too much sperm to get a nocturnal emission (wet dream).
Its like God's natural built-in relief valve to our spigot.

Your lust fueled sex drive is only filled by what you fill it with.
whether it be porn, fantasies, or whatever else gets you off.
You have to stop feeding that immediately.
The urgency to stop is NOW.

Once you realize you have a problem, you are already on the road to recovery!
It will not be easy.
I am, along with many many many men, deal with these issue on a regular basis.
Most ungodly opinions are to just touch and release the tension that way.
That is NOT God's standard. He does not want us to do that.
And yes, God's standards are high... But God's grace is everlasting!
If you screw up and fall into sexual temptation, don't shame yourself, but realize you are on a road to recovery.

Almost every Book in the New Testament has "flee from sexual immorality"
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18
Masturbation can cause you to feel distance from God.
But he is at your Heart's Door, knocking, Waiting for you to let him in.
You have to open the door to let him in.

Masturbation and Porn can most definitely become addictive.
It releases the same happy chemicals in the brain that heroin does.
and as the same with heroin, you crave more and more intensity, aka more hardcore porn and more risk.
You may end up watching a video on the internet after the deed is done and say to yourself "what the hell did I just touch to?! I'm not even into that!"

It's a horrible habit that needs breaking IMMEDIATELY.
Start setting goals for yourself to remain abstinent and pure.
Try to not look at porn or touch for 1 full day.
then if you fail or not, set the goal for 2 days.
then 4 days. then 8 days. and so on.

It's up to you to want to quit.
It's up to you to "flee sexual immorality".
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13
God will never tempt you, but it is up to you to resist it.
As it says in scripture, God WILL Provide a way out!
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7

Wow, thank you!! I cannot even reply to this as I know you are spot-on and all things now make sense! Thank you so much for your answers and for helping me in the right direction. Could you and me maybe become email friends?

 

[wrexsti]

i just edited my last reply a little bit... please review the changes if not already done so.

 

[wrexsti]

Wow, thank you!! I cannot even reply to this as I know you are spot-on and all things now make sense! Thank you so much for your answers and for helping me in the right direction. Could you and me maybe become email friends?

click my name and click send private message.
God Bless.

 

[Simon_Templar]

Yes she is, we both are Christians.

Then I would suggest that you both seek out some good Christian teaching on marriage and listen to it together.

I am not married, so there are a lot of things I am sure I don't understand and I haven't experienced. But I do know from the bible and from the Church's teaching that Marriage is about mutual self-giving.

This is why Paul teaches in his letters to the Corinthians that the wife's body belongs to the husband, and the husband's body belongs to the wife. In marriage you no longer belong to yourself because you are giving yourself to your spouse.

As a husband you need to be sensitive to your wife's needs and above all else you can not view her as an object to meet your needs. You must view her as a person to love and serve.

However, the same is true for your wife. She has no more right to be selfish in your marriage than you do.

However, marriage is not a 50/50 deal. its a 100/100 deal. Meaning your commitment is not dependent upon your wife's. Even if she isn't doing her part, you still have to. You have to give 100% even if the other person isn't.

The most important things you can do are 1st, live out your self-sacrificial love for your wife on a daily basis and 2nd pray for her, for you and for marriage.