Is living with someone due to complex circumstances wrong?

[CounselorForChrist]

I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I know living with someone that your not married to is a sin. But what if you have a complex situation? I should point out I am disabled, 30 and do live with my parents who are also christian.

I am talking to a girl out of the coutry. She does not know anyone here and can't really afford to stay at a hotel. She wants to come here on a tourist visa and see if we get along as well as we do online. We both VERY much agree no sex before marriage and no sleeping in the same room. Which also is a requirement of my parents since it is their house.

So when shes here, she will have my bedroom and I will skeep downstairs in my "man cave" (lol). And most likey when she comes back again (assuming all goes well) she will be coming using a fiancee visa and stay with us again until we mary (you have 90 days to do so on that visa).

So would you say this arrangment is a sin still even if we sleep apart and have no more contact other then a simple hug and/or kiss? I would think it would not be because of the sleeping arangments and everyones strong view on it. I think God would understand that she has no other place to stay and we are obeying his commands. As long as the relationship is not about sex then we should be ok I would imagine. We are taking every step to avoid the smallest amount of temptation.

On a side note this girl said if I even showed any sign of wanting to have sex or do anything of the nature she would leave me and never talk to me again. She said hugs are acceptable, kisses once we are married though.

 

[alatir]

I don't think there is anything sinful in this arrangement, especially because you live with your parents that can have eye on you. I bet there are some cultures somewhere in the world where the would-be bride comes to live with the would-be in-laws.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I love it that my parents are there to keep on eye on me. The first woman I had a real relationship with I messed up with. I was 27 at that time and lost my virginity with this woman. We both begged my parents to sleep in the same room (she was from out of state). We sort of got them to agree because one night I had a headache and she laid next to me with my parents permission.

Needless to say we ended up having sex and I regreted it since then! My parents told me if temptation is there, you will sin. But I was blindly in love at the time. Now my parents are super strict. With this new girl I am not to be alone with her for more the a minute or so. They said if anything happens I will be kicked out. And trust me. I don't want anything to happen simply because I have learned my lesson from the first time.

I do not wish to sin again and disappoint God. My new fiance actually thought it was very noble that I had such self control that I did not have sex until 27 and even more so that I was honest about it with her. She said she could hear it in my voice that I do not want to make that mistake again. And I haven't since 27. I've been with two other woman and not had sex with them at all. Even at one point when we were semi trapped in an elevator for 20 minutes. The temptation was there, but I refuse to do it.