Is this inappropriate for a dental hygienist to do?

[raymarie]

Hello everyone. So I wanted to get some other perspectives on this situation and thought this would be the best place to do so. My boyfriend recently went to the dentist for a cleaning and when he was finished, he wanted to get my opinion on how the dental hygienist was acting around him, because he suspects it was over-friendly and unprofessional. The woman who cleaned his teeth was asking questions about where he was from, sharing information about her relationship with her fiance to him, gave him compliments, was overly laughy, and kept placing her hand on his shoulder during the whole cleaning. She kept making comments about how tall he is and also mentioned how he has "a strong lip." Later that day, in the online notes, she also wrote how he had "strong lips" and his "tongue is very busy." Neither of us have ever had any comments made about our lips/tongues at a dental place before, but I know we are still young and maybe that is something some of them say? We're not sure, but we find it odd. Also, whenever I've made eye contact with her and even have smiled at her, she didn't back, and I've also noticed that she doesn't seem to talk to other patients like this (We've had to go multiple times since he needed fillings). For reference, this woman is probably 40 and my boyfriend and I are in our early 20s. Are we overreacting, or would you find this odd as well if it happened to your partner?

 

[JosephZ]

It sounds like the dental hygienist was only trying to make your boyfriend feel more at ease. The online notes about the busy tongue and strong lips would be intended for the dentist or dental hygienist that may be working on his teeth in the future as a heads-up on what to expect when working with him. Apparently both of these terms are commonly used by dental professionals.

Having a strong lip or an active tongue makes it harder for the denist or dental hygienist to do their job.A strong lip can make it hard to reach certain teeth and can put pressure on the hygienist's fingers while working. A busy tongue also makes the job more difficult by following the dental instruments around the inside of the mouth and obstructing the view.

The purpose behind the casual and seemingly unprofessional conversation with your boyfriend by the hygienist would be to help him feel more relaxed and keep his mind off of the dental procedure. If the approach this hygienists took makes you or your boyfriend uncomfortable, then you can always request someone different on your next visit or choose to go to another dentist office all together.



Source: My cousin is a dental hygienist, and I just shot her an email and asked her about this.

 

[Paulos23]

My dental hygienist is like my barber, chatty. And being chatty sometimes they stray into uncomfortable areas. You just need to steer them back to safer waters.

As for the strong lips and busy tongue, both of those are important things to know for the dentist and other dental hygienists to know if they are going to work in his mouth. Nothing worse for a dentist trying to drill a tooth than someone with a busy tongue that gets in the way.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Hello everyone. So I wanted to get some other perspectives on this situation and thought this would be the best place to do so. My boyfriend recently went to the dentist for a cleaning and when he was finished, he wanted to get my opinion on how the dental hygienist was acting around him, because he suspects it was over-friendly and unprofessional. The woman who cleaned his teeth was asking questions about where he was from, sharing information about her relationship with her fiance to him, gave him compliments, was overly laughy, and kept placing her hand on his shoulder during the whole cleaning. She kept making comments about how tall he is and also mentioned how he has "a strong lip." Later that day, in the online notes, she also wrote how he had "strong lips" and his "tongue is very busy." Neither of us have ever had any comments made about our lips/tongues at a dental place before, but I know we are still young and maybe that is something some of them say? We're not sure, but we find it odd. Also, whenever I've made eye contact with her and even have smiled at her, she didn't back, and I've also noticed that she doesn't seem to talk to other patients like this (We've had to go multiple times since he needed fillings). For reference, this woman is probably 40 and my boyfriend and I are in our early 20s. Are we overreacting, or would you find this odd as well if it happened to your partner?

Strong lips and busy tongue are actually terms that are used in the medical industry. I saw it used to describe what happened when medical professionals try to establish airway. Strong lip means they have to be careful the lips are less pliable and the frenums (? It’s been a minute since I’ve done airways) are higher and thus are more likely to tear. Busy tongue means the tongue reacts to indirect stimuli by moving, becoming rigid, or seeking/avoiding the area it was stimulated. Sometimes people call it (something-something I forget) tongue thrusting.

The rest of it just seems like normal chatter to me, paired with a little bit of oversensitivity/youthful inexperience on his and your part. I tend to suspect with those two medical observations, she was trying to relax/distract him so he’d relax his jaw and see if that eased the movement of the tongue and the rigidity of the lips. The hand on the shoulder? That’s nothing. Mine leave their tools and such on my shoulder.

If it bothers you, switch dentists, but honestly if my husband came back with the above, I’d say “sounds like you’ve just been to a dentist.”

 

[Tropical Wilds]

Also, since jaw, tongue and lip rigidity and action may actually be rooted in involuntary neck/upper shoulder muscle response, a hand on the shoulder may be trying to establish if that’s the case and/or apply light pressure to relax it. During intubation, sometimes they do something similar, though a bit more forceful (since time is of the essence), to encourage the muscles to loosen.

Anybody who had gotten a massage likely knows exactly what I’m talking about. Same move, done to gauge the tension of the muscles they’re about to target. The gentler move, not the intubation one.

 

[RDKirk]

In agreement with others, I'd say that if she put it in writing where she intended for other professionals to see it, it's unlikely to be out of place.

Both of those terms indicate heightened patient anxiety (par for the course for dentists), and would be a reason she'd try to be more comforting with that patient than, perhaps, with others. That's why she'd talk more, place a hand on his shoulder, et cetera.

I personally have been known to fall asleep during a root canal.

 

[LoveDivine]

I thought I'd try to offer some insight. I am a dental hygienist. It's actually quite common for us to write in charts about strong lips/tongues. It might seem odd, but we note it, because the musculature does often affect how we deliver treatments. It's not a sexual or flirty thing at all. We would note or document that for any patient. A big part of our job is helping patients to relax and putting them at ease. So many patients have high anxiety regarding dental care. It's not a relaxing thing to have someone with sharp tools working in your mouth I find many patients relax more if we talk to them. Now, not all hygienists have the same personality or friendliness. Personally, I try to be friendly and make conversation with patients, but I try to ask them questions about their own lives. Conversation starters like questions about holidays I know they were planning to take, events, etc. Things that shouldn't be uncomfortable for someone to answer. If I know they are a student, I might ask them how their classes are going. Those types of questions. I will at times share things about my own life, but I prefer to keep discussions focused on them. However, I know lots of others who treat their patients almost like friends and they definitely talk about themselves. It can be fine so long as it doesn't cross the line into oversharing. That could potentially be unprofessional.

I don't know this hygienist so I can't comment on what you are feeling/picking up. I gathered from your post that you felt she was flirting with your boyfriend. That's hard to judge having not been there to see it. It could just be she is very friendly and just trying to put him at ease. She's also much older than both of you so it's very possible that she isn't even thinking of him in that way. However, if your boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable with her personality and friendliness, he can always request another hygienist. There is nothing wrong with that. You want someone to feel comfortable with the person who is delivering care. It's common that patients develop a rapport with specific dentists and hygienists and not everyone responds the same to different personalities. We have lots of patients who request to be booked only with specific hygienists and dentists. We try not to take it personally. It's just a part of the job. Some patients wish to have minimal talking during their cleanings and others want that distraction. I've had patients literally get annoyed that I was cheery and friendly, haha. They wanted no talking during their treatment, essentially.

 

[biblelesson]

My boyfriend recently went to the dentist for a cleaning and when he was finished, he wanted to get my opinion on how the dental hygienist was acting around him, because he suspects it was over-friendly and unprofessional. The woman who cleaned his teeth was asking questions about where he was from, sharing information about her relationship with her fiance to him, gave him compliments, was overly laughy, and kept placing her hand on his shoulder during the whole cleaning. She kept making comments about how tall he is and also mentioned how he has "a strong lip."

I wouldn’t discount his feelings. If he felt uncomfortable it’s because he probably senses something in his spirit that isn’t right about her conversation.

A professional gave me some really good advice years ago. She said when we encounter someone and feel uncomfortable, it’s more than likely the person we encountered with the problem. Our body is giving us warning signs that something is not right. She said it’s like a light bulb turns on. So he should trust his feelings. If you both are very close in the Lord, support him by offering that both of you pray together before going to his next appointment, and each appointment after that. Put the situation in God’s Hands.

As far as charting strong lips, that can be legitimately in relation to the suction instrument used to catch the saliva as she performed the procedure. Sometimes during suction, our lips can grab hold to the instrument to tight; that would be a reason for charted strong lips, so that the other staff can be aware.

As for the other issues, only he knows how he feels and he was the one faced with the situation. We must accept how our loved ones feels. We are not to support strangers and side with them over our loved ones. That’s called betrayal, and is a form of mental abuse - we are not to excuse away how each other feels.

If he expressed he was made to feel uncomfortable, believe him, support how he feels, and suggest prayer with him before going to his next appointment.

Your reaching out shows support and love for him already. May God bless your relationship!