I'm starting to have trouble talking to people.

[Catherineanne]

Let's put it lightly, I have a family who either at "Atheists" or "Part of a Cult", I will not name the denomination so it doesn't look like I'm bashing.

Anyways I'm having a ton of trouble speaking to them, It seems no matter what I talk about with them, it's always varying opinions. It's to a point where I don't even want to talk to them, by the way it's not always talks about god and stuff like that, it's just every thing that my friends, family say to me are so out there and wrong in view that It makes it impossible for me to have a conversation that doesn't end with some argument.

I'm still young, but I don't know how to get out of this situation, When I talk with Jesus, I'm told, hang in there, things will get better.

It is very easy, particularly when we are young, to think that we have to go around correcting people when they are wrong. In fact, we don't. Other people are perfectly entitled to be wrong if they want to be.

There are things you can say when you hear things you disagree with, that will NOT lead to an argument, but will also not compromise your own conscience. Here are a few suggestions, but I am sure you can think of some more of your own.

That is an interesting suggestion.
Do you really think so?
Fair enough.
How interesting.
That is one way of looking at it, certainly.
You seem to have thought about this one very carefully.

The main thing is to affirm the person talking, without affirming that what they say is right to you, but also without arguing against it or defending your own point of view. From a Christian point of view this is perfectly valid, because it is the role of the Holy Spirit to convict any of us of our mistakes, whether of sin or of opinion. We cannot go around correcting one another; it is his job and only he can do it. Don't rise to provocation, just use one of these phrases, and repeat it over and over if you want to. If you stop biting, the others will learn to stop trying to provoke you to argument.

If you can try not to defend your position, and to simply allow other people to be as misguided if they want to be, then you might find it easier to get along with them. It takes time to learn to relate to people this way, but in the end it makes for a far easier life.

 

[Catherineanne]

my family is Christian but not on the same page and they tell me I'm too hard sometimes, but that's opening a door for me to tell them why I'm hard and explain the differences between our two gospels... I thrive on opposition, and don't waste time with people that are time wasters.

This is a very good approach to take if you want never to be invited to a dinner party or other family gathering ever again.

On the other hand, there is absolutely no reason to take this rottweiler approach to our faith. The Lord did not go around berating people for being wrong, and neither should we. As I said above, it is for the Holy Spirit to convict people of sin, not you and not me. We simply need to be quiet and to wait on his presence, and his guidance, before engaging in any kind of confrontation whatever.

Our God is not one of conflict and antagonism.

 

[Catherineanne]

I love defending my stand because it's what Christ called us to do, but I mean, it's so hard to talk to people who can't quote the book to support their views but won't listen to anything that proves they shouldn't be in this cult.

Christ does not call us to 'defend our stand'. He calls us to follow him, and we do that by taking up our cross, and following in his footsteps; by loving God, and our neighbour as ourselves.

Totally different thing.

The atheists are just fools and I don't waste time with them, sometimes I wish I could be born in a time where people didn't mash up Christ's teachings , unfortunately that has never existed, guess I'll have to wait till Heaven.

If you regard those around you as fools then you will never be able to speak the gospel to them, and they will never be able to hear it.

The Lord never ever spoke to anyone he did not love first, and unless we love those we are speaking to in the same way as the Lord loves us, we are indeed wasting our time.

 

[Catherineanne]

Correct them, that's what we are here for, and correct them properly. Address the root of their argument and kill it, don't give an inch. People continually justify their lack of faith and excuses for not wanting to believe God. Demolish those beliefs with facts. This is your duty. When complete, they will reject you. That's when you shake the dust off your feet

or be like me and remain silent, but at the end of the day silence accomplishes nothing. But if you undertake battle be prepared to fight to the end, and if you aren't prepared, it would probably send a strong message to pay your dues and leave.

Silence accomplishes everything, if it is silent prayer.

I recommend it to anyone who is rather prone to engaging in meaningless conflict.

 

[Catherineanne]

I wish, but the views always come into stuff, It's crazy how lost some people can be. I tried explaining to them and defending my views, but it's very tough to debate against someone who is so brainwashed in tradition that it's quite hard to talk anymore.

If someone regarded me as 'brainwashed in tradition' I would be hard to talk to as well.

Perhaps if you learn to listen to the other side and their point of view then they might learn to listen to you too. You might even find that people who value tradition have Biblical reasons for doing so, and are not quite as lost as you imagine.

 

[Catherineanne]

I will not give my pearls before swine

Good.

Anyone who regards his brothers and sisters as the equivalent of swine is right not to attempt to talk to them. Such an attitude while attempting to evangelise is a disgrace; it ought never to accompany any attempt to communicate the beauty of the Gospel.

The Lord spoke to many, many people in his ministry. He loved every single one of them, whether they responded to his call or not. When the rich young man walked away from him the Lord was sad. He did not call him a pig.

 

[justavisitor]

I should have said wolves

 

[Catherineanne]

I should have said wolves

No, not wolves either.

To evangelise we have to see the person we are addressing as a lost brother or sister, and we have to try to help them to find their way home. If we regard them as any kind of animal, or as unworthy of our attention in any way, then we will fail.

Christ was able to work miracles because he bore in mind two things. Firstly, the will of God in all things. Secondly, the love of God for all people. If we also bear these two in mind, we too will do everything he did, including bringing those who are spiritually dead back to the fullness of life in Christ.

 

[Girder of Loins]

"Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words." -St. Francis of Assissi

 

[HIS Geeky Girl]

My brother went way out in "left field" for a while, becoming very paranoid, subscribing to all kinds of conspiracy theories, becoming very anti-organized-religion. Every conversation became an argument about the government, big corporations, society, even going so far several times as to attack me and my family for mundane things like celebrating birthdays and holidays, and how I was raising my son. It got to the point where I didn't want to talk to him at all, and I avoided him. Thankfully, as the years passed, I guess he realized how ridiculous he was being, and that he was pushing people away, and he's become a much more reasonable and likable person to be around again So I know what you're dealing with! Don't give up on them, pray for them, and love them. Keep a distance if you need to for your own sanity, but don't give up.

 

[allykelly07]

This is a very good approach to take if you want never to be invited to a dinner party or other family gathering ever again.

On the other hand, there is absolutely no reason to take this rottweiler approach to our faith. The Lord did not go around berating people for being wrong, and neither should we. As I said above, it is for the Holy Spirit to convict people of sin, not you and not me. We simply need to be quiet and to wait on his presence, and his guidance, before engaging in any kind of confrontation whatever.

Our God is not one of conflict and antagonism.

The lord called those who were preaching another gospel, white washed tombs, on the inside they were full of dead mens bones. He said they went oversees to make a convert, and when they made one, they made him twice the son of hell as they are. Paul told timothy to command certain men not to preach false doctrines any longer. What your preach, is trying to get along with men, rather then knowing that christ said the true gospel would offend, he said that if we walok as he walked, we would be hated by all men.
We are called to preach the gospel, we are to be holy and seperate, we don't say to those preaching a false doctrine "that's a good way of looking at it", because what they preach does not and cannot save "if anyone preaches false doctrines any longer, and does not agree to the sound instruction of our lord jesus christ, he is conceited and understands nothing."

 

[Pal Handy]

Let's put it lightly, I have a family who either at "Atheists" or "Part of a Cult", I will not name the denomination so it doesn't look like I'm bashing.

Anyways I'm having a ton of trouble speaking to them, It seems no matter what I talk about with them, it's always varying opinions. It's to a point where I don't even want to talk to them, by the way it's not always talks about god and stuff like that, it's just every thing that my friends, family say to me are so out there and wrong in view that It makes it impossible for me to have a conversation that doesn't end with some argument.

I'm still young, but I don't know how to get out of this situation, When I talk with Jesus, I'm told, hang in there, things will get better.

Sometimes one of the hardest thing that Christ asks us to do, is to do nothing.

It is hard when Christ asks us to wait and allow Him time to work
things out in our lives.

I think of Joseph who after the wonderful dream he had foretelling
the future and his role in saving his family, was sold into slavery,
cast into prison and waited many years before God's plan unfolded
in such a spectacular way.

What did Joseph do in prison?

First of all he waited, secondly he trusted in the Lord and thirdly,
he did the best he could in the circumstance he was placed in.

Joseph did so well while in prison that he ran the place for his jailer.

What can you do now to be the best you can be?

Can you overlook the faults of others and love them and not withdraw
from them because they do not live up to your expectations?

Can you endure and not run away when things get rough.

Can you pray for your family and ask God to help them to put
love before arguing over various topics.

Can you be the person that you wish your family members could be?

I think the Lord has given you the best advice...
"hang in there, things will get better"

 

[allykelly07]

Silence accomplishes everything, if it is silent prayer.

I recommend it to anyone who is rather prone to engaging in meaningless conflict.

So, the gospel is meaningless conflict? That is what you are saying, christ said that He brought a sword, to divide. Your trying to make peace with men, rather than God.