I want to formally apologize to everyone here. I don't want to drag this out but I do want to say I'm sorry and explain in the hopes that this will make sense because it's been a long time coming and it needs to be done as sincerely and honestly as possible.
I didn't realize until recently how depressing many of my posts have been. Some of you know that that past half-year or so has been the worst of my life and in the real world I've done a great job of hiding this. Most of my friends and family know little or nothing about what has gone on and how I feel and I'm proud of this, mostly because I prefer to deal with problems on my own and keep my feelings to myself. Unfortunately when I write my feelings come out more naturally and in the process of posting on here I've allowed too much of my doubt and frustration to come out, whether intentionally or by accident. We have enough grief and depression on this forum and I don't want to add to it, although I fear I already have far beyond what is acceptable. There are some members here who either think less of me or have ignored me altogether because of this and I don't blame them in the least. Their feelings are not unwarranted.
In the end it's no one's fault but my own for griping about my own problems without taking the time to listen to anyone else's and for that I am sorry as well. I've considered leaving CF permanently and I still may do that in the near future but regardless of whether I stay or go I wanted to set things right. However, an apology isn't valid without change and that's where I'm stepping it up. I will no longer be posting about myself: my thoughts, my feelings, my problems, or my victories if they should ever show themselves again. You all know everything about me: now I want to know about YOU and what I can do to pray or encourage you all more in whatever you're dealing with or doing.
This has already gone on far longer than intended so I'll cut it short. I'm blessed to know so many amazing people here and I don't expect or merit forgiveness or a second chance. What I can promise is to keep things to myself and focus on all of you, which I fully intend to do from now on. Again, I apologize and for the few friends that I haven't lost on here: see you around!
--Austin
I didn't realize until recently how depressing many of my posts have been. Some of you know that that past half-year or so has been the worst of my life and in the real world I've done a great job of hiding this. Most of my friends and family know little or nothing about what has gone on and how I feel and I'm proud of this, mostly because I prefer to deal with problems on my own and keep my feelings to myself. Unfortunately when I write my feelings come out more naturally and in the process of posting on here I've allowed too much of my doubt and frustration to come out, whether intentionally or by accident. We have enough grief and depression on this forum and I don't want to add to it, although I fear I already have far beyond what is acceptable. There are some members here who either think less of me or have ignored me altogether because of this and I don't blame them in the least. Their feelings are not unwarranted.
In the end it's no one's fault but my own for griping about my own problems without taking the time to listen to anyone else's and for that I am sorry as well. I've considered leaving CF permanently and I still may do that in the near future but regardless of whether I stay or go I wanted to set things right. However, an apology isn't valid without change and that's where I'm stepping it up. I will no longer be posting about myself: my thoughts, my feelings, my problems, or my victories if they should ever show themselves again. You all know everything about me: now I want to know about YOU and what I can do to pray or encourage you all more in whatever you're dealing with or doing.
This has already gone on far longer than intended so I'll cut it short. I'm blessed to know so many amazing people here and I don't expect or merit forgiveness or a second chance. What I can promise is to keep things to myself and focus on all of you, which I fully intend to do from now on. Again, I apologize and for the few friends that I haven't lost on here: see you around!
--Austin
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Anyway... I hope you still consider me a friend because I sure as hell consider you one.
