I fear trusting Jesus...

[+RubiesFire+]

I always had troubled trusting Christ in my past, because nothing ever really went right in my life:

Now my Boyfriend of five months, we had a fight nearly three weeks ago, I also haven't seen him in three weeks now. Every time I try to do something with him, he says he has a lot of going on. At first I was beginning to get upset, then I learned his Step Dad might have cancer, and my boyfriend might be also loosing his job this Friday, but he won't allow me near him. We still talk on a daily basis, but he says, he just doesn't want to be bothered by anyone, but he does ask me to pray for him.

My friends and family think this is an excuse for him to end things with me, but last week when I spoke to him, I threatened to break it off with him, because I felt like I was getting punished, he told me not to end it and he was not punishing me, because he is going through all these things and he doesn't know what is going to happen, and he just needs to be left alone by everyone.

I love him, but I'm also at the point I don't know what to do, and I am afraid to trust Jesus, because all the disappointment in my past. I keep noticing scripture on trusting Jesus, ect. But I don't even know how!! I also think by dumping him, that would make me look selfish and childish because I want to spend time with him, even though he is going through stuff.

I feel like I want to take this all in my hands, and do it on my own, but it probably won't work if I fail to trust Jesus to take care of it.

 

[Nilla]

I know what you mean by having a hard time trusting God. This is something I struggle with as well.

But this bibleverse has helped me a lot:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I know God doesn't want anything bad to happen to me and I also remind myself of the fact where I only see a small fraction, He sees the whole picture.

As for the situation with your boyfriend, I'd give him some space, let him know you're there for him whenever he needs you or is ready to talk.

Praying for you.

Nilla

You can PM if you need to talk/vent.

 

[+RubiesFire+]

Thank you, Nillia!

 

[salida]

God never promised us a rose garden but to walk with us in difficult times. There are other fish in the sea concerning the BF.

Take one day at a time and get some inspirational friends that love God by their actions. Surround yourself with those that will help you grow spiritually and in general. Get involved in a church-find friends there. God has given us gifts. Take advantage of opportunities-doors will open. They will close sometimes when God is finished with you in a particular situation. If they don't open to begin with-than you were never meant to go there to begin with. Keep praying and take one day at a time.

1Pe 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.

1Pe 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you.

 

[Orahh]

Proverbs 3:5-6, though one of the most over quoted scriptures, it's so true. Each and every person needs to come to a place where they recognise that their knowledge is just not as great and infite as god's and the only way we can make the right choices is to trust God to do that.
A really cool thing about the bible is that Jesus fullfilled over 300 prophesies in the old testement. He could of not done things such as declare he was thristy or choose not the be crucified and just excepted us to trust him and believe him even though he did not complete the prophesies. But instead he did that and sacrificed himself, not for his own personal gain, but to atone for our sins and to gain our trust in the fact he sticks to his word.
If your into reading, I sugest the book "He choose the nails" by Max Lucado. I found it very encouraging in my faith and helped me gain my trust in Jesus.
for now, you really should just be praying for your boyfriend, that the lord would guide him through this time and he would not lose sight of the lord

 

[Johnnz]

Trust is something we learn in real life situations. Sometimes, our past makes that harder. Issues of the heart can be painful too. It's a bumpy road for you right now. Jesus does understand that and He will remain with you through this time.

John
NZ

 

[birernest]

YOU CAN'T DO IT OWN YOUR OWN, because you don't have all the answers-only God does. Only God knows exactly how your boyfriend is feeling-only he knows how to handle this situation. You have to learn to trust God-trust him through faith. You must learn to beleive what you can't see. Although a situation may not appear to be going well, you must have faith that God will work things out. You said that you have trouble trusting God because it seems that nothing ever went right in your life-if everything was perfect then there would be no need for Jesus. Everyone endures hardships and pain at some point in their life-what matters is how YOU handle the situation. Everything that happens happens for a reason-this is not just an old adage-this is true. God wanted you to go through what you went through in order to help someone else get through a similar situation, and also to have faith in him.

 

[Peripatetic]

Our trust is not as much about hoping to avoid a tough time. Real trust in God is more about facing our troubles knowing that they are important for our growth and that He will give us the strength to persevere through them. I think of like bracing myself with extra armor.

 

[student ad x]

Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O LORD! Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. Psalm 25:4-10 ESV

 

[k.miles]

Trusting Jesus is not easy and it is a bigger subject than I can elaborate on this reply. Trusting Jesus does not mean staying in a relationship that is not right for you (or him). Trusting Jesus could actually mean realizing the signs that the relationship is not right for you. God/Christ's Will is what will ultimately be done in our lives, not necessarily our will.

Your past attempts could have been trusting Christ for your will instead of His. Just think about it.

You can't make anyone love you. Not even Christ tries to make you love Him because love cannot be forced. Love yanks no one inside its doors; love merely invites. It is up to the invited to accept the invitation and walk in.

You cannot make him love you just as he could not make you love him. Take time to even think about if you really love him or if you're just infatuated with him. Is there life beyond him? Why or why not? Do you think you love him because he makes you laugh or because you all have physical attraction to each other?

No one can answer any of this but you; not your friends, parents, teachers, etc...just you. So take some time and seriously think about these things. You may not be able to answer all of them right away, which is okay. You'll need time. Time away from him and others. Talk to yourself. You have a wealth of information and answers inside of you; you just have to tap into them.

Take care,

 

[wayfaring man]

Hi Rubies,

An important distinction is that it is Christ's faith which saves us, for if He didn't believe in what can become of us/our lives, He/our Heavenly Father would certainly not have suffered + endured so much on our behalf.

Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. <-----> Galatians 2:16

It is through believing in the sufficiency/potency of Christ's faith for enduring/overcoming all, that our trust is founded upon The Rock which cannot be shaken/moved.

This is vastly different than believing in our own faith.

For the moment "I" steps to "the front of the line" - to take "center stage", Christ's Preeminence is being dismissed/denied.

When Jesus said to certain folks "Your faith has saved you", this is an example of His loving us humbly - for technically, it is ( our believing/trusting in ) Him/His faith, which saves us; but Jesus is not one who practices self-praise/exaltation; hence , He did not say "My faith has saved you", even though, He knows quite well that without "His faith", ours would avail us nothing !

And I seek not mine own glory:there is one that seeks and judges. <-----> John 8:50 ( Words of Jesus )

Sometimes because we ( as spiritual infants ) can be so dense, Jesus was compelled by His/our Heavenly Father to bear witness of His Unique & Vital Role.

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. <-----> John 15:15 ( Words of Jesus )

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Additionally, our faith in His faith begins as a "mustard seed", with the capacity to sprout and grow into a strong and sturdy tree. This "process" is as a "precious cycle" which contrary to "vicious circles", spirals gracefully onward and upward on "the wings of eagles".

Has thou not known? has thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faints not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
He gives power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. <-----> Isaiah 40:28-32

[ For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man sees, why does he yet hope for?
But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. <-----> Romans 8:24+25 ]

And this is the nature of such "cycle": trust in Christ/His faith+love in the smallest of things, where one does not overextend them self ( through fear of not appearing strong ), into the realm of presumption, ( which is the counterfeit of faith ); such focus upon the smallest of matters fits with the humility of Christ, and also addresses our current state of affairs on the fundamental level of where things start up/out from - for "big things" are only "little one's" which have grown in size and proportion.

So for example, instead of seeking to apply our faith in His faith , by attempting to "move a mountain", ( like seeking first to change the people/world around us ), focus instead on daily sowing good seed within... which is akin to prayerfully seeking to have our inner thoughts/mental preoccupations brought into harmony with the thinking/mind of Christ in the most sure + certain of scriptural/fundamental matters.

For example: ( under this format/focus ) believing in Christ's faith which clearly expresses that we -"do unto others as we would they do unto us", would involve us examining/reevaluating our own thought processes and "sowing" the faith of His Word in our heart/mind, so that our inspiration of intention then comes from above where Christ sits on the right hand of God; and thus The Virtue/Beauty of His Kingdom above does manifest within, to consequently shine without. And as this transformational process takes shape, it encourages and edifies us to trust in Christ's faith/faithfulness more and more until we all are complete in Him, thus allowing His faith to transform our life/world !!

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. <-----> Romans 10:17

( By hearing it is meant "understanding" - the kind which leads to an application that allows us to experience a goodly measure of Christ's all-sufficient faith within... strengthening + supporting us at the very core of our being/existence).

May The Lord and His Faith Be Magnified !

wm

 

[heron]

We always say that we want to respect the needs of our partners, but when they tell us what they need, it doesn't always make sense.

Whether he's telling the truth or not, he has made it clear that he needs space. It might seem that an announcement of possible cancer is not as weighty as a death, but it could have thrown the whole family into tension. They might have lost insurance coverage, started talking about wills, how he could continue to work, talked about moving out of the house... who knows. Maybe your bf is being asked to work to support his family.

Meanwhile you are being left out of the loop, maybe because it is just too complicated for him to share, or want to talk about. Women like to talk to vent their frustrations, but men vent and make decisions other ways.

Keep in mind what he needs. It's not what you need right now, but this is an unusual circumstance. If there's a chance he's lying, then you will end up in the same position as you would be if you broke up now... so just go with the request, and don't be too gullible.

When people are going through unusually stressful times, they are not in a giving mode. All they can handle is their own issues. You have reason to be upset over missing him three weeks, but at least he has stayed in contact with you. Find something to distract yourself, and stay occupied until he's ready.

 

[Christsdaughter]

I always had troubled trusting Christ in my past, because nothing ever really went right in my life:

Now my Boyfriend of five months, we had a fight nearly three weeks ago, I also haven't seen him in three weeks now. Every time I try to do something with him, he says he has a lot of going on. At first I was beginning to get upset, then I learned his Step Dad might have cancer, and my boyfriend might be also loosing his job this Friday, but he won't allow me near him. We still talk on a daily basis, but he says, he just doesn't want to be bothered by anyone, but he does ask me to pray for him.

My friends and family think this is an excuse for him to end things with me, but last week when I spoke to him, I threatened to break it off with him, because I felt like I was getting punished, he told me not to end it and he was not punishing me, because he is going through all these things and he doesn't know what is going to happen, and he just needs to be left alone by everyone.

I love him, but I'm also at the point I don't know what to do, and I am afraid to trust Jesus, because all the disappointment in my past. I keep noticing scripture on trusting Jesus, ect. But I don't even know how!! I also think by dumping him, that would make me look selfish and childish because I want to spend time with him, even though he is going through stuff.

I feel like I want to take this all in my hands, and do it on my own, but it probably won't work if I fail to trust Jesus to take care of it.

Sometimes what we think is best for us is really not what God intends for us. God knows what is truly best for us. He created us and he created the world and everything that is in it. He sees the whole picture and we see only what is right in front of us. We have such limited understanding of God's creation, so what makes us think that we can understand and explain God? God is SO big and I say this to encourage you because He knows what is best for you. Don't hold too tightly to this relationship, because there is always the chance that it isn't what God wants for you. He may have different plans for your life. Give your boyfriend the space that he needs and pray for him. It really does sound like he is going through a difficult time. Pray for him like he asked but most importantly spend lots of time with the Lord and work on your own relationship with Jesus. Spend lots of time at His feet seeking Him, pouring your heart out to Him, listening to what He has to say to you, reading His Word, and determining to submit to His will for your life and to live in complete obedience to Him even if His plans for you are different than what you had hoped. Remember, that He sees the whole picture and only wants what is best for you. Don't try to fight His hands that are holding you. If you fight it and decide to go your own way, it will end in destruction. If you decide to submit to the Lord Jesus and accept what He has for you, you will experience so much more joy; even in the midst of suffering! It sounds weird, but it is the truth! Only God can fill your heart with joy in the midst of troubles! He is SO AMAZING! There is NONE like HIm! Also, he allows trouble in order to strenghthen your faith, build your character, and to bring you to the point where you are content with ONLY Him and nothing else is more important than HIm.

God Bless!

Christsdaughter

 

[+RubiesFire+]

Hi All-


Thanks for responding to me. Last Wednesday when I spoke with my NOW Ex-Boyfriend, I wasn't going to pressure him into seeing me, but found out he was attending his niece's b-day party that weekend, and he never invited me to come along.

I broke down crying after I hung up the phone, because after nearly giving him three weeks of space because of his stress, I was left in confusion and had no idea why he didn't want me around, I did the only thing I could was end things with him.

But we still agreed to be friends, he asked to pray for him, and we both agreed that I will teach him about God. I'm pretty much broken, but still sending him emails daily, telling him about God. I've put my feelings aside for him, because he is still going through things, and the only ONE who can help him is God.

Pretty much, I've been crying everyday because I care for him, and him telling me I deserve better than him, ect. Now I am trying to understand God's plan in all of this.

 

[Peripatetic]

I'm sorry to hear about this difficult time. You are showing a good heart for wanting to stay friends and continue to help him. Just know that this may significantly delay the healing process. The longer you stay close, the harder it is to move on. Generally, the best thing for a broken heart is space and distance, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. Just something to think about... I'll say a prayer for you.