Please help me make sense out of this..

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

Hello my friend! I can sympathize with you.

Do Not fight God over whom, how, and when he rains on them. He does it to the Just and the Unjust alike. That is Not your business. That is Not your focus.

Do Not covet your husband's life, fun, property, etc. It may be that this is all he ever gets. This may be the best his life and afterlife ever is. This is Not the best your life will ever hold for you. You have Glory waiting for you!

Be respectful for what God allows. Take care of yourself, your Fellowship with God, ask for forgiveness in your part, in your feelings, in your attitude and work to change them. Above all. Love your husband! Because that is a command from God. Yea. All this stuff is Easy preachin' Hard living. But you can do it. And you will prosper in doing so.

Make your life simple. Church, Scripture, work, food, shelter, health. Simplify it down.

Read Kings I, Kings II, Hosea for an uplift in your circumstances by reading about the evilness the Jews performed. Then acknowledge that you are no better than they are. That's what I did.

Anger and Hatred will only harm you. It sucks to hear that. We know that. But we still want to hate and not forgive. But you have got to work to a point where you can forgive him. You don't have to forget. You don't have to be lied to or tricked. You give that person no trust unless they start building trust.

But you forgive. Or your own fellowship with God suffers. And that may be what you are experiencing now.

Peace and Blessings

Ty for your comment

 

[Waitin4beauty4ashes]

Don't lash out. Just ignore.
Our 7 year old daughter was killed in front of us.
You can only imagine the stupid things people say...

Also. Some people are delayed in their ability to empathise.
My wife is a Social Worker. Was working in an ER. Kid came in with Brain Bruse riding go-cart down the street, no helmet, ramed under a car. Nurses could only focus on the 'stupid' aspect. People say things because they don't think it can happen to them, or they don't believe they would never be Not In control. So they control their world by saying stupid things. Just ignore. And forgive them.

Peace and Blessings

Sorry to hear about your kid. That's awful to ever witnessed.

 

[com7fy8]

This is good - - - feel for others while you go through things. And you can help others with however God is taking care of you.

Read 1 Samuel 30 about how David suffered a horrible loss. What worked? He got encouraged with the LORD, made sure with God about what to do, then did it and made sure everyone else got blessed, too. He did not just isolate with himself and his own trouble, but even felt for others and helped them.

 

[TPop]

Sorry to hear about your kid. That's awful to ever witnessed.

You know what? With God is fine. It is Good. It is awesome. She is where I always wanted her to be! My plans saw fruition.
If your child has a deadly disease, When would you want them cured? Right away!
She had a deadly disease. Life on earth. She is 100% cured, joyful and glorified.
Who could ask for anything more?

Peace and Blessings

 

[Joseph G]

God bless you, Tpop. Thank you for that!

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

Your use of the word ‘toxic’ is interesting, as well as this person slithering off to someone else at your lowest point. Which suggests to me you may have possibly had the misfortune of being in a narcissistic abusive relationship. Maybe research that topic perhaps that will make sense of things? You say you played an equal part of this failed relationship, have you ever considered maybe that really isn’t the case, maybe that only is what someone else wants/wanted you to think? You did say you tried to change, pray for your marriage, and make things work. So that suggests to me, odds are maybe someone else didn’t want things to work, maybe they even needed this relationship to blow up? Think about that.

So, you are going to need to ‘detox’ from this toxic relationship. And the healing path is not linear, there will be peaks and valleys, better days and bad days. But you WILL get better and that takes time, how much, who knows..that all depends on how much work you put into educating yourself..was this in fact a toxic abusive person? Have they gaslit you into thinking you have more responsibility for the problems than you actually did? One thing is for sure and pay attention..this new relationship your ex is involved in is destined to be even more toxic than your own, and it is only a matter of time before the mistress ‘catches it’. Healthy relationships don’t begin via adultery remember that, and you are blessed to have removed yourself from this situation.

However ‘wonderful’ things may seem on the surface for the ex, you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors. If you have social media, block and delete the ex, the mistress, any mutual acquaintances and move on entirely from that period in time as well as those individuals who side with the ex. It will take time so don’t let anyone tell you it is a set period of time you need to be better by. Do not wonder what they are doing, do not check their social media, do not ask mutual acquaintances for updates. That is not the path. The path is to get to the pinnacle of indifference about what this person has going on. Now by that I don’t mean anything along the lines of not praying for them, do pray that God will convict them on their wickedness and cause for them to repent.

Now look at it this way, you have made it through a bad experience and have wisdom to share with others who may face a similar dilemma once you’ve fully recovered and your cup is full. The reason you aren’t doing so great now is because you literally have to detox yourself from this person and it will take time. Try to slow your life down and simplify things as much as possible for the time being.

“O God, the proud are risen against me, and the assemblies of violent men have sought after my soul; and have not set thee before them. But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth. O turn unto me, and have mercy upon me; give thy strength unto thy servant, and save the son of thine handmaid. Shew me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou, Lord, hast holpen me, and comforted me.”
—Psalm 86:14-17

“How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.”
—Psalm 13

“The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.”
—Psalm 34:16-19

 

[65James]

Don’t know what is worse to love and lost or to never love. Hopefully you are doing better sad to hear this bad news for you. Don’t want to lie to you and say I understand your pain. But I can and do understand the pain of loneliness and wondering what is so wrong with me that at my age God has never and will never send me a better half. Top that off with a terrible day i am having at work right now and continued bad news of my sister health I don’t understand fully what you are going thru but understand the pain of feeling God seeming to abandon us. Peter gives great words for this in I Peter 1:6-7, but they help little while in the trial.

 

[Diamond7]

I pray and pray for God to help fix the marriage.

I prayed and prayed for my marriage to be restored and it never happened. God made it clear that she has free will or the freedom to choose what she wants. We have to be positive in life if we want to manifest what we want. Your X seems to know how to do that. My impression is you need to have more of a positive attitude and less of a negative attitude. I did suffer a lot in my divorce so I do understand your snuggle.