i don't want to forgive my husband!!

[blubell44]

ii

 

[snoochface]

Have you read the replies in any of the other threads you've started? You've gotten a lot of good advice in them, and they might help you in your current situation.

 

[blubell44]

i have read them all, just the situations will go away and then come back.

 

[LivingProof8]

You have to, sweetheart....

You and your husband can have NO future if you dwell in the past. It's not easy but pray that God help you truly forgive him (that means leaving the resentment, anger and hurt in the past) But based on your previous threads/posts, I think that maturity and counseling is in order for both you.

Also, you need to forgive him... not for his benefit but for your own. As long as you are angry, a person or a situation has control over you. That gives them the power to keep you bound up and messed up. Let it go and let God deal with your husband. By being angry, you aren't punishing him, but enabling him to have control that only God should have.

 

[searle29678]

You have to, sweetheart....

Also, you need to forgive him... not for his benefit but for your on. As long as a person or a situation has control over you, they have the power to keep you bound up and messed up. Let it go and let God deal with your husband. By being angry, you aren't punishing him, nut enabling him to have control that only God should have.

That was a really great way to say it. Actually, that made me feel a little better about my own situation. It's easy to get so caught up in how we should be treated and how badly we are currently being treated that we don't see what God is doing in the situation. Great advice!

 

[LivingProof8]

That was a really great way to say it. Actually, that made me feel a little better about my own situation. It's easy to get so caught up in how we should be treated and how badly we are currently being treated that we don't see what God is doing in the situation. Great advice!

I'm glad I could help. I've just learned to implement that into my own life over the past few months. I realized that as long as we have our hand in something, there is no room for God to work. Also, to keep ourselves bound up in anger, hurt and resentment also suggests that we are afraid and unwilling to let God handle our vindication and need to somehow control the situation ourselves... Fear and faith can't occupy the same space.

 

[DZoolander]

I don't understand what exactly it is that you can't forgive.

A few people in here mentioned previous posts by you where the issue might be illuminated upon. Thankfully you've only got like 11 posts - so it was pretty easy to read back. However - after reading them - I'm still just utterly confused.

What exactly is it you can't forgive him for?

For talking to some girl's father - and not cutting all ties with the guy - because the daughter was a little flirty with him? Or the fact that when he was 18 or so - he made a mis-step in being kind of flirty with some other girl in college?

From reading your posts - I really don't know how to best advise you. You started dating the guy when you were 13 - and were "engaged" by the time you were leaving HS. Honestly - that (in and of itself) has a lot of problems the come along with it. Neither of you are really adults - and neither one of you has had time to grow into who you're going to be - without the considerations of "partnership" being thrown into the mix. Youth is meant to be spent growing into who you are - with only being true to yourself in mind. Once you know - then you get involved. Unfortunately - both of your growth has always been under the watch of each other.

If you hadn't been "engaged" - who knows if you'd have even ended up together. If you had met today - without all of those years of childhood "togetherness" - who knows if you even would have picked each other. That's why I'm not a fan of young marriage - and you guys almost define the term. You have no concept of life without each other - and each other's expectations.

So - what is it that you can't forgive? If it's the talks with the father of that other girl - or the girl that he flirted with a few years ago and it's resulting insecurities - then maybe you need to let go a little bit. All things considered - you're "lucky" (and I put that in quotes - because who knows what the future will bring) that it didn't go further.

Chill out a little bit.

 

[No-L]

I don't understand what exactly it is that you can't forgive.

A few people in here mentioned previous posts by you where the issue might be illuminated upon. Thankfully you've only got like 11 posts - so it was pretty easy to read back. However - after reading them - I'm still just utterly confused.

What exactly is it you can't forgive him for?

For talking to some girl's father - and not cutting all ties with the guy - because the daughter was a little flirty with him? Or the fact that when he was 18 or so - he made a mis-step in being kind of flirty with some other girl in college?

From reading your posts - I really don't know how to best advise you. You started dating the guy when you were 13 - and were "engaged" by the time you were leaving HS. Honestly - that (in and of itself) has a lot of problems the come along with it. Neither of you are really adults - and neither one of you has had time to grow into who you're going to be - without the considerations of "partnership" being thrown into the mix. Youth is meant to be spent growing into who you are - with only being true to yourself in mind. Once you know - then you get involved. Unfortunately - both of your growth has always been under the watch of each other.

If you hadn't been "engaged" - who knows if you'd have even ended up together. If you had met today - without all of those years of childhood "togetherness" - who knows if you even would have picked each other. That's why I'm not a fan of young marriage - and you guys almost define the term. You have no concept of life without each other - and each other's expectations.

So - what is it that you can't forgive? If it's the talks with the father of that other girl - or the girl that he flirted with a few years ago and it's resulting insecurities - then maybe you need to let go a little bit. All things considered - you're "lucky" (and I put that in quotes - because who knows what the future will bring) that it didn't go further.

Chill out a little bit.

I do not mean to sound harsh at all but really EZ, is right here. You two missed out on a LOT of your childhood. I mean it is great that you get to share those memories too but, still this must be hard on you both you have never known anything but eachother.
Anyway you are going to make yourself miserable with all these insecurities and him too.
I also agree that I don't see exactly where you need to forgive him?
And Ez is right in the fact that if you are still hung up on what he did when he was 18 let it go, you are lucky that was all that happened. An 18yr old boy that has only known one girl and the worst he did was talk online to another girl, not even sexually.

Pray about your insecurities, try not to be so critical of your husband.

 

[Stephen Kendall]

Our lives are given to God in trust. We don't strike out on our own. Loving your husband is your place. Forgiving is your Gospel.

Will you be obedient to Jesus Christ? If not, then don't call yourself Christian. It is obedience that is important. Don't play with your forming jealousy. Choose unselfish love over yourself. If he loves you and his God, he will see you and the light of God.

Don't worry. Hold fast to God and you will never fail. It isn't about us, but about the love that we nurture within our souls to come to our Father in Heaven. Listen to and obey Christ.

 

[BeanMak]

If you don't want to forgive your husband, the unfortuate truth is that there is only misery ahead of you. Misery of your own making. Your hard-heartedness will color all your future decisions. It will color all of your dealings with him. Nothing he will do will be good enough, kind enough, or loving enough. Sooner or later he will give up and then you will have all the more to hold against him. It is a vicious circle.

 

[BeanMak]

If you don't want to forgive your husband, the unfortuate truth is that there is only misery ahead of you. Misery of your own making. Your hard-heartedness will color all your future decisions. It will color all of your dealings with him. Nothing he will do will be good enough, kind enough, or loving enough. Sooner or later he will give up and then you will have all the more to hold against him. It is a vicious circle.