I keep seeing this post and thnk maybe I should share my experience.
When I met my ex I was very under weight. Unhealthily so. I'm 5'9 as well as was pushing 105 and for me (with a big frame, even at 105 I couldnt fit into anything smaller than a 5) that's tiny. I developed health problems from that.
Well I went on birth control and my weight shot up. I was under a lot of stress and the ex had become verbally and physically abusive, constantly cutting me down. I was such a cow he was embarrassed to be seen in public with me he said.
I got tired of the cut downs and started the weight loss. He dared me to lose more weight then him. He knows I've started throwing up my food and was on a 200 calorie a day restriction and he encouraged it. I dropped 80 pounds in 6 months and developed a heart murmur along with many other health conditions. the murmur never cleared and still causes trouble sometime.
Anyways, so I lose 80 pounds and am down to 115. I start to see a nutritionist because my eating is so bad at this point and I maintain at 115 but healthy. Not good enough for said ex.
I was also pregnant before I went on the weight loss routine (I didn't start until the baby was born) so I had lose skin and stretch marks. As soon as the ex sees this he tells me how badly he wants to take an iron to my stomach to flatten it out. Never good enough.
So years later I still look at my stomach wanting badly to fix the flaws, the flaws that show I gave birth to an amazing beautiful child, the flaws that show I was once over weight and managed to become healthy again. Reminders that I will never have the body I once had.
It was just never enough for him. No matter how much I tried and how much I liked the changes, it was never enough. And truth be told, it was him who was never enough. I knew it then but I was so insecure I thought he was right when he said I couldn't do any better.
My husband now, he encourages me every day to be comfortable with him. He kisses my stomach, tells me how much he loves all of my flaws, he's a keeper. There are keepers.
I don't know what your situation is like but if it is anything like mine was, do NOT let him get you back to the eating disorder. Don't let him kill you like that. It will kill you. No one is worth it, especially if they can't love and accept you for who you are.
You are beautiful flaws and all. and for your stomach, I don't know if anyone ever told you this but as a woman you are SUPPOSED to have a pooch on your belly. It's your uterous and it's normal and healthy and a beautiful thing. No one ever told me this so I dropped pound after pound trying to get rid of something that would one day house my three lovely children.
Be easy with yourself, you are beautiful just the way you are.
