I suppose that this is a bit of an asking for help. I'm not doing all that well at the moment. I need some prayer. I love the Lord and feel guilt at times for my dispare but try as I might, I cannot deny my feelings. He knows I'm upset anyway so I don't see the use in hiding from my own heart.
I'm on the verge of leaving my church and my friends their. It appears that we have some major differences of oppinion and after a long period of grief and trying to reconsile this situation, I feel like it won't be able to be resolved. Certainly not in the bear future.
I'm in a relationship/ courtship and I think that if it had been entirely my girlfiends decision, we would have left a long time ago. Its so hard to be in this place. I can feel the tears of grief ust thinking/writing about this. It feels like a failure to leave. It feels like its contrary to the spirit of Christ to ever be divided. I feel so hurt and confused by this. I don't want to speak Ill of my congregation and my friends. I love them, if I didn't then this would be a really different desision to make. I feel too that many people will not understand why I'm leaving. Its going to be a tough thing to let go of their opinions and walk away. I often see caring what people think and getting my value from their opinions has been a weakness for me so this is a crushing situation. Perhaps thats an aspect of it that will bring growth through perserverance...
Bless you,
Thank you Lord for listening,
If you read this, any prayer/ encouragment you may have to offer would be appreciated.
