God wont HELP me!!

[jesus_lives]

I have a HUGE moral problem......when God says to obey your parents, well....my mum is a born again believer however she isnt that close to God as she hasnt read her bible or prayed in quite some time. She's still a very caring and considerate mother though and we go to church pretty much every sunday unless somethings on.

Well...theres a guy that I like, that my mum doesnt approve of (for shallow reasons....she doesnt like his nashionality (european), or the way he looks). So after we had been talking for a longg time (emailing and phone), he asked if he could speak to her and introduce himself but I said 'no, give it some time'. We started a relationship (meeting up lots and stuff) and my mum found out about him and banned me from talking to him. (hes 19 like me by the way). I dont know what to do...I love talking to him, hes a strong baptist christian, and we get on great. So even though it was hard for us, we kept talking in secret without telling my mum. She found out, and started hating him for being disrespectful to her by talking to me despite her telling him (directly by phone) never to speak to me again. She even called him a 'stupid aussie boy' on the phone and started yelling at and insulting him!! But he loves me, so of course he cant just stop talking to me altogether, and same for me!

Heres the question....is it a sin to contine disobeying (and i even have to lie sometimes) in order to keep talking and being in a relationship and meeting with him > I mean, i can really see this going somewhere (us getting married someday)...but this family opposition is frustrating?! Does this mean its not in Gods will for us to be together....?

Help!! Im reallyy lost and hurt and confused so I'd greatly appreciate the perspectives of other brothers and sisters in christ here) Thankyou in advance!!

 

[70x7]

Why do you say God won't help you?

First, lying is a sin and disobeying your parents is a sin...so that answers those questions.

How do you know this guy? Have you actually met him or is this just a long distance emailing pen pal kinda thing? Not being rude, but how do you know or why do you think you are in love?

 

[rockytriton]

You are an adult now, you are your own responsibility, what your parents think about whom you date is no longer an issue. Also, if the guy is European, let your mom know that Aussies are Australian, not European. Regardless, if she's a bigot, that's more reason to not take her advice.

 

[98cwitr]

you under her roof? If yes, you're under her rules...obey your mother even if you don't agree.

 

[Big Country]

The irony is that there's probably nobody on earth that loves you more than your mom. She might be delusional about some things, but she's doing what she thinks is best for you. You're disobedience indicates that dating some guy is more important to you than honoring your mother - it's a bit of a slap in the face to her. I'm sure she feels like 18+ years of raising you and caring for you deserves better than that, thus her anger.

My advice would be to do the following:
1. terminate (or stall) the relationship as demanded by your mom.
2. apologize to you mom and get things right between you and her.
3. reintroduce the idea of this relationship to your mom and work thru her concerns.
4. get back into the relationship in a way that you mom approves of.

 

[Dixiecup]

I have a HUGE moral problem......when God says to obey your parents, well....my mum is a born again believer however she isnt that close to God as she hasnt read her bible or prayed in quite some time. She's still a very caring and considerate mother though and we go to church pretty much every sunday unless somethings on.

Well...theres a guy that I like, that my mum doesnt approve of (for shallow reasons....she doesnt like his nashionality (european), or the way he looks). So after we had been talking for a longg time (emailing and phone), he asked if he could speak to her and introduce himself but I said 'no, give it some time'. We started a relationship (meeting up lots and stuff) and my mum found out about him and banned me from talking to him. (hes 19 like me by the way). I dont know what to do...I love talking to him, hes a strong baptist christian, and we get on great. So even though it was hard for us, we kept talking in secret without telling my mum. She found out, and started hating him for being disrespectful to her by talking to me despite her telling him (directly by phone) never to speak to me again. She even called him a 'stupid aussie boy' on the phone and started yelling at and insulting him!! But he loves me, so of course he cant just stop talking to me altogether, and same for me!

Heres the question....is it a sin to contine disobeying (and i even have to lie sometimes) in order to keep talking and being in a relationship and meeting with him > I mean, i can really see this going somewhere (us getting married someday)...but this family opposition is frustrating?! Does this mean its not in Gods will for us to be together....?

Help!! Im reallyy lost and hurt and confused so I'd greatly appreciate the perspectives of other brothers and sisters in christ here) Thankyou in advance!!

Your 19, your mother has raised you and now it's you turn to live your life on your own. She must trust that she taught you well.

Don't lie about your relationship with your friend, be open about it. It is disrespectful to be dishonest. Pray about it as well, and you may want to pray with your mother about it as well.

Sometimes parents can see things we don't and she may be protecting you, or she may be wrong about it all. Be open to this possibility.

Blessings!!

 

[Aibrean]

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

In greek, children (τέκνο&#957 it means offspring. The word νήπιος would be to describe a minor/infant.

That said, you are 19. Do you have to live with your mother? If I was you and my mother didn't approve, I would wait until she did. I would also move out. Parents have a good sense of things.

 

[Johnnz]

You are no longer a child. Your mother must come to recognise that. My mother opposed my marriage. I would have lost out on 46 wonderful years had I bent to her will.

John
NZ

 

[rockytriton]

You guys are forgetting the fact that her mother is ignorant and a bigot, that makes a difference, did Jesus not say that he came to get mother against daughter? Where does obeying your parents come into this?

 

[Aibrean]

You guys are forgetting the fact that her mother is ignorant and a bigot, that makes a difference, did Jesus not say that he came to get mother against daughter? Where does obeying your parents come into this?

Don't quote out of context. What happens when a Muslim becomes a Christian and the family is still Muslim? THAT is what Jesus is saying. Christianity may not be accepted kindly.

Her mother is also a Christian. While she may act like it, it is the daughter's duty to show Christian love back, and that means attempting to appease her.

 

[childofGod31]

I have a HUGE moral problem......when God says to obey your parents, well....my mum is a born again believer however she isnt that close to God as she hasnt read her bible or prayed in quite some time. She's still a very caring and considerate mother though and we go to church pretty much every sunday unless somethings on.

Well...theres a guy that I like, that my mum doesnt approve of (for shallow reasons....she doesnt like his nashionality (european), or the way he looks). So after we had been talking for a longg time (emailing and phone), he asked if he could speak to her and introduce himself but I said 'no, give it some time'. We started a relationship (meeting up lots and stuff) and my mum found out about him and banned me from talking to him. (hes 19 like me by the way). I dont know what to do...I love talking to him, hes a strong baptist christian, and we get on great. So even though it was hard for us, we kept talking in secret without telling my mum. She found out, and started hating him for being disrespectful to her by talking to me despite her telling him (directly by phone) never to speak to me again. She even called him a 'stupid aussie boy' on the phone and started yelling at and insulting him!! But he loves me, so of course he cant just stop talking to me altogether, and same for me!

Heres the question....is it a sin to contine disobeying (and i even have to lie sometimes) in order to keep talking and being in a relationship and meeting with him > I mean, i can really see this going somewhere (us getting married someday)...but this family opposition is frustrating?! Does this mean its not in Gods will for us to be together....?

Help!! Im reallyy lost and hurt and confused so I'd greatly appreciate the perspectives of other brothers and sisters in christ here) Thankyou in advance!!

Don't do things that require lying. If you ever do, just tell the truth and suffer the consequences. It's better to tell the truth and not sin, instead of tell a lie, sin and be not right with God (just so you could avoid some hardships).

Do you know if meeting this boy is GOD's WILL? Perhaps He is using your mom (He even used a donkey one time for His purpose) to stop you from seeing him? I would say: first seek HIS WILL. If you don't know it, seek it until you find it. Afterall, you don't want to do anything that is against His will, do you?

The most important thing for your life is to seek God. Get to know Him as much as you possibly can. Seek first the kingdom of heaven, and the rest of the things will be added to you. If you miss doing this, then the rest of your life is not important. Whatever else happens is not important in the face of eternity. Make seeking God your focus. Keep praying about this boy. Try to behave so as to keep peace. Don't put your wishes and desires above everything else. Is the boy a devout Christian? Tell him to pray for God's will. If he is not, then maybe it's not time for you two to get together...

Just remember, getting to know God comes first and before all things. And God Himself will help you in your problems once you can walk daily with Him and feel His guidance in some way.