Girl Problems..

[newchristian0012]

This girl had liked me since around 07-08 around that point during high school, but I had no interest. After high school we talked a little bit and she still tried getting me to date her but still was not interested. Mostly because I didn't think she was attractive, until over this weekend I finally thought she was...

Well, over the weekend we were hanging out and I told her I would consider going out with her but I wanted her to make some sacrifices. I felt as if she is not mature enough for her age, as sometimes she acts like a middle schooler. Also she's not a christian and wanted her to slowly get into christian life by possibly going to church with me on Sundays. I felt as if she becoming a christian would best for me instead of dating a non-christian. Not just that, she been going through struggles in her life especially with her parents and I feel that God would help her out a lot in her life.

Well, Seems like it went good Saturday night then when Sunday night came she pretty much blew me off. I don't wanna get into full detail but she texts one of our friends saying that she thinks its not gonna work out. As I think that she don't think or want to make the sacrifices...

Considering me I still think there is still a chance, so I tried calling her yesterday night, no answer. messaged her saying call me. none

I don't understand how for many years she wanted me and when I come along she doesn't want to anymore...

friends say she maybe just playing. possibly idk.

Should I keep trying to work this out or just forget about it?

Can I get some feedback on this situation, and can you guys pray.

Thanks everybody

 

[seeingeyes]

So a girl you never liked in the first place blew you off, and you want to know if you should chase her down?

No.

 

[Puptart]

So there's a girl you never liked in the first place... and you tell her that you'd consider being with her as long as she changes everything about herself to make sure she's exactly what you want instead.. and she blows you off?

Wow I just can't imagine how anyone could do such a thing.

Look: You tried to change her rather than date her. Why would she want to be with you anymore? Sigh.

 

[BFine]

She's not a Christian, you suddenly became interested in possibly
dating since the two of you hung out together the past weekend-- although you feel she's immature-- And to top it off, she rejects you and you want to pursue her?

Sorry but this doesn't make sense to me.

Honestly, look for someone who shares your faith, and the two of you have mutual interests
and are on the same level of maturity.

If you really want to help her, then pray for her and connect her with a mature Christian lady
at your church.

 

[Albion]

Sounds like she either found you not as interesting up close as she'd expected or else she didn't care for your requirements. It happens. Let it go.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

This girl had liked me since around 07-08 around that point during high school, but I had no interest. After high school we talked a little bit and she still tried getting me to date her but still was not interested. Mostly because I didn't think she was attractive, until over this weekend I finally thought she was...

Well, over the weekend we were hanging out and I told her I would consider going out with her but I wanted her to make some sacrifices. I felt as if she is not mature enough for her age, as sometimes she acts like a middle schooler. Also she's not a christian and wanted her to slowly get into christian life by possibly going to church with me on Sundays. I felt as if she becoming a christian would best for me instead of dating a non-christian. Not just that, she been going through struggles in her life especially with her parents and I feel that God would help her out a lot in her life.

Well, Seems like it went good Saturday night then when Sunday night came she pretty much blew me off. I don't wanna get into full detail but she texts one of our friends saying that she thinks its not gonna work out. As I think that she don't think or want to make the sacrifices...

Considering me I still think there is still a chance, so I tried calling her yesterday night, no answer. messaged her saying call me. none

I don't understand how for many years she wanted me and when I come along she doesn't want to anymore...

friends say she maybe just playing. possibly idk.

Should I keep trying to work this out or just forget about it?

Can I get some feedback on this situation, and can you guys pray.

Thanks everybody

Forget about it...and find yourself a Christian girl like you're supposed to. You know this.

 

[paul1149]

Better to serve her as a friend than try to control her as a girlfriend. Find the proper distance at which you can have a healthy relationship with her. Do not conflate her becoming a Christian with relating to her, otherwise she may do so for the wrong reasons.

I think you went into this with mixed, confused motives, and have reaped accordingly. If I were you I would back off, let the dust settle, and see if there's any way you can be a positive influence in her life. You can't force her to do anything, and shouldn't try.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

This girl had liked me since around 07-08 around that point during high school, but I had no interest. After high school we talked a little bit and she still tried getting me to date her but still was not interested. Mostly because I didn't think she was attractive, until over this weekend I finally thought she was...

Well, over the weekend we were hanging out and I told her I would consider going out with her but I wanted her to make some sacrifices. I felt as if she is not mature enough for her age, as sometimes she acts like a middle schooler. Also she's not a christian and wanted her to slowly get into christian life by possibly going to church with me on Sundays. I felt as if she becoming a christian would best for me instead of dating a non-christian. Not just that, she been going through struggles in her life especially with her parents and I feel that God would help her out a lot in her life.

Well, Seems like it went good Saturday night then when Sunday night came she pretty much blew me off. I don't wanna get into full detail but she texts one of our friends saying that she thinks its not gonna work out. As I think that she don't think or want to make the sacrifices...

Considering me I still think there is still a chance, so I tried calling her yesterday night, no answer. messaged her saying call me. none

I don't understand how for many years she wanted me and when I come along she doesn't want to anymore...

friends say she maybe just playing. possibly idk.

Should I keep trying to work this out or just forget about it?

Can I get some feedback on this situation, and can you guys pray.

Thanks everybody

I understand where you're coming from, because at some point, we make mistakes and go through those awkward relationship problems.

She doesn't want to 'make these sacrifices' because she doesn't really know who Jesus is at this point. And maybe, you might've hurt her for trying to change her in your hands. Everything sounds really automatic and too contract-like.

You're constantly trying to make everything good on your terms. You said that if she becomes a Christian it might be best for you. I know that you're just trying to help her out, but things might be going a lot too fast for her. You can't control her; This battle is up to God and her. Whether you could be used here is another issue.

Just message her back by saying, "I respect your choices." And don't ask why or beg for more answers. Keep your relationships clean.

Leave her up to God. Keep on praying for this friend of yours.


It doesn't sound like she was playing. She just seems to have a lot going on in her life right now.

I don't think that you two should go out. First off, we shouldn't date non-believers, let alone marry one. It might make us stumble on our path with our Lord. Second off, right now, the issue's a bit more complicated, so it might be better if you just let things 'cool' off and leave it to God. Ask God for another chance, and when it comes, just be buddies. Hang out with her, and if you get the chance, talk to her about God's love and plans for her.

 

[Radagast]

Also she's not a christian

There's a big "NO", right there.

I told her I would consider going out with her but I wanted her to make some sacrifices

That comes across as rather condescending. I'd be surprised at any girl or woman accepting an offer expressed that way.

 

[Ttery]

This girl had liked me since around 07-08 around that point during high school, but I had no interest. After high school we talked a little bit and she still tried getting me to date her but still was not interested. Mostly because I didn't think she was attractive, until over this weekend I finally thought she was...

Well, over the weekend we were hanging out and I told her I would consider going out with her but I wanted her to make some sacrifices. I felt as if she is not mature enough for her age, as sometimes she acts like a middle schooler. Also she's not a christian and wanted her to slowly get into christian life by possibly going to church with me on Sundays. I felt as if she becoming a christian would best for me instead of dating a non-christian. Not just that, she been going through struggles in her life especially with her parents and I feel that God would help her out a lot in her life.

Well, Seems like it went good Saturday night then when Sunday night came she pretty much blew me off. I don't wanna get into full detail but she texts one of our friends saying that she thinks its not gonna work out. As I think that she don't think or want to make the sacrifices...

Considering me I still think there is still a chance, so I tried calling her yesterday night, no answer. messaged her saying call me. none

I don't understand how for many years she wanted me and when I come along she doesn't want to anymore...

friends say she maybe just playing. possibly idk.

Should I keep trying to work this out or just forget about it?

Can I get some feedback on this situation, and can you guys pray.

Thanks everybody

Let me tell you that what you did was a wrong way to start a relationship. She probably felt as though she wasn't truly loved, accepted, or appreciated when you said that she had to make sacrifices to be with you. That's really just saying she has to change to be with you. Yeah, it's true there are things she can work on--as we all do--but it would have been a better choice to wait a little while and get closer to her relationship wise and then address some issues. Then you could have both tackled those issues together as a couple.

The way you addressed the issue probably wasn't gentle and even if you were trying to be gentle she definitely wasn't humble/open to it.

I'll leave it at that! Try to learn from this situation. Praying you will!!!

 

[HwtChirino]

So a girl you never liked in the first place blew you off, and you want to know if you should chase her down?

No.

Amen.

Also, why would you be interesting in pursuing a girl who doesn't have a strong relationship with the Lord? If a girl doesn't have a strong foundation with God, it seems like a poor decision to seek after her.

There are plenty of other girls out there. I think it's a bad idea to use this girl as a "project" in which you transform her. Trust me, it doesn't work.

 

[vortigen84]

So a girl you never liked in the first place blew you off, and you want to know if you should chase her down?

No.

Love how you're straight to the point.

 

[briareos]

This girl had liked me since around 07-08 around that point during high school, but I had no interest. After high school we talked a little bit and she still tried getting me to date her but still was not interested. Mostly because I didn't think she was attractive, until over this weekend I finally thought she was...

Well, over the weekend we were hanging out and I told her I would consider going out with her but I wanted her to make some sacrifices. I felt as if she is not mature enough for her age, as sometimes she acts like a middle schooler. Also she's not a christian and wanted her to slowly get into christian life by possibly going to church with me on Sundays. I felt as if she becoming a christian would best for me instead of dating a non-christian. Not just that, she been going through struggles in her life especially with her parents and I feel that God would help her out a lot in her life.

Well, Seems like it went good Saturday night then when Sunday night came she pretty much blew me off. I don't wanna get into full detail but she texts one of our friends saying that she thinks its not gonna work out. As I think that she don't think or want to make the sacrifices...

Considering me I still think there is still a chance, so I tried calling her yesterday night, no answer. messaged her saying call me. none

I don't understand how for many years she wanted me and when I come along she doesn't want to anymore...

friends say she maybe just playing. possibly idk.

Should I keep trying to work this out or just forget about it?

Can I get some feedback on this situation, and can you guys pray.

Thanks everybody

People shouldn't have to make radical changes in their life in order to be with you and you shouldn't have to ask anyone to. If they would need to then that person isn't right for you.

If you are still in highschool then take these things with a grain of salt, they aren't so serious. You are both still very young, this situation probably wont really matter in the long course of things. In a few years this situation wouldn't have mattered at all. Take this time to enjoy yourself, experiment and just be a youth, it isn't that serious yet my friend.

 

[vortigen84]

This girl had liked me since around 07-08 around that point during high school, but I had no interest. After high school we talked a little bit and she still tried getting me to date her but still was not interested. Mostly because I didn't think she was attractive, until over this weekend I finally thought she was...

Well, over the weekend we were hanging out and I told her I would consider going out with her but I wanted her to make some sacrifices. I felt as if she is not mature enough for her age, as sometimes she acts like a middle schooler. Also she's not a christian and wanted her to slowly get into christian life by possibly going to church with me on Sundays. I felt as if she becoming a christian would best for me instead of dating a non-christian. Not just that, she been going through struggles in her life especially with her parents and I feel that God would help her out a lot in her life.

Well, Seems like it went good Saturday night then when Sunday night came she pretty much blew me off. I don't wanna get into full detail but she texts one of our friends saying that she thinks its not gonna work out. As I think that she don't think or want to make the sacrifices...

Considering me I still think there is still a chance, so I tried calling her yesterday night, no answer. messaged her saying call me. none

I don't understand how for many years she wanted me and when I come along she doesn't want to anymore...

friends say she maybe just playing. possibly idk.

Should I keep trying to work this out or just forget about it?

Can I get some feedback on this situation, and can you guys pray.

Thanks everybody

A relationship is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.

There are other single women available. Don't get too hung up on this one.

 

[Vulnic]

Be nice to her, and be open to the possibility of being her friend. Do not try to be in a committed, intimate relationship with her. If you are Christian and she is not, then you guys do not share the same lifestyle, and it will cause you problems later on when you're emotionally attached.