Fibromyalgia and feelings

[Littlek]

Hello everyone,
I haven't posted in the health section yet, but I wanted to ask a few questions. I was diagnosed with fibro last year, I believe I have had it for about 3 years. I am 38, and now do not work because of the complications from fatigue, fogginess and pain. I have tried some meds, but the side effects are not worth it, one made me start having panic attacks. Anyway, why do I feel selfish if I want to take care of myself? Sometimes I feel like satan makes me feel lazy, and that I should push through and do everything and suck it up. I feel guilty for taking naps when I need one or sleeping until 9. Why can't I accept I have a chronic problem and know I am not "normal" and just because one day I can clean don't mean I could the next 2 or 3. I feel guilty for trying to get disability when I know I couldn't last working. I can't sit long or overdo things. Anyone caught up in the same feelings with their chronic problems? What do you think God thinks about us who do suffer with this? I feel like he gets angry with me because I don't work, I just want to take care of myself without to many or no medicines. I am getting somewhat use to pacing myself and I am doing better than I was last year. I would like to talk with someone who has these feelings too.

thank you, and God bless,
Karen

 

[pumanator]

God is not mad at you...he is our heavenly father not earthly. He loves you. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Not sure if this is OT or NT about not working and not eating and I won't expound on it anyway. He provides for us...He doesn't crack the whip over our heads.

I'll give you a little back ground. I have worked since I was 10. At times I had as many as 4 jobs (didn't work out so well, lol). I still work but in the summer I pass on much needed income because they call me out for custodial...can't do it, not anymore. I am a primadonna class "A" trucker who is now driving the short bus (and loving it). But, there will come a day when I can't pass DOT physical...I can hardly take care of stuff around the house and I am so far behind that I wish I could sell and just live in a condo with no repair hassles. I have been a DIY guy my whole life, garage full of tools that don't see much action...

I get so frustrated with my limitations and what needs done. But, I ofter forget about whats really important to God. He wants my undivided attention.

Focus on Him and your relationship with Him and leave the whole mess at His feet. He will let you know what He expects from you...and He's not mad, His yoke is light and easy.

Last thing. Being yoked to the Savior. In the old country and in most 3rd world ones they always take the young weak ox and yoke him with the older, stronger more experience one to teach the little one...we are His little ones...never forget His love for you for it is greater than you will ever know in this life time.

 

[Littlek]

Thank you so much for your reply. I think sometimes I need to hear it from others. I can tell myself over and over, and I know that God loves me and knows that I have a chronic physical problem, but that he is not angry or upset with me because I have chosen to take care of myself. Then after awhile you know evil comes lurking and telling me I should be ashmed, and that it's selfish to take care of myself when I should be taking care of others, and working....because some people still work when they have chronic problems. My days are so different, some days I can do housework and errands and feel pretty good, then other days I can hardly do anything because of the chronic fatigue. I don't trust my memory, because the fibro foggiess is the pits.lol. I think if I went back into the working world I would be as bad as I was last year or worse. I am doing somewhat better since I stay home and pace myself.

There is a reason for all of this, something that I will never understand. I know he allows things to happen in our life for the good. I guess I need to get over the human side of thinking and stop judging myself and being so critical. It's a hard thing to do.

Thanks again and bless you,
KL

 

[pumanator]

This is a place to vent and ask for prayer...be encouraged and blessed. You sparked another thought. Paul told Timothy to take a little wine for his messed up gut...Luke was a physician...Jesus stopped and healed ppl. Taking care of yourself is not a bad thing...be a good steward of what He has given you. I could find more applications but I think you get it.

As to the why...can't tell you how many times I have yelled that to Him. He may let you in on it down the road or not. Paul concluded that His grace was sufficient, not to sound trite or simplistic.

As to work, if God is supplying what is needed with out you workin' fo da man then enjoy...as if taking care of the home was some sort of easy gig, lol. I have been helping clean out things while I am off this month until school starts up and man, it's heavy work...house wives DO NOT have it easy.

 

[Littlek]

Ha ha, that's for sure! I remember when I stayed at home when my children were little, and my hubby used to think I had it made, to stay at home. lol. It's hard take care of home and raise kids. Actually it's been the hardest job of my life, taking care of my children. My children are 17 and 20 now, and even though we have had our hard times, they bring me so much joy and laughter, they are a blessing indeed.

Thanks for the advise...be a good stewart with what he has given you...I have actually told God, and this has been really really hard thing to do, to think him for my trials and pains. Whew..I said it, again. lol. I know Job went throught alot and he never turned his back on God, and my most favorite part of the bible is when God speaks to Job and questions him. It just makes you see how powerful and how much God controls everything, even the lightning bolts..lol, (that's a fear that we are working through now, storms, he knows it, but in the back of my mind I think ahh, they still hurt and kill people) I know, I know it's silly, but its actually a learned fear from older sisters and mother.

Thanks again for your help. It's great to get to come here and talk to other christians.

littlek