Religion to me is the framework I use to live a more moral life.
And here's where another "disconnect" happens with me.
As far as I am concerned, following an authoritarian code of conduct will always be a
less moral life, even if the end results might be similar.
Why?
Because I do not think helping another person just because you think some external authority commands you to do so is all we can aspire to. I'd aspire to help another person
because I truly wish to help another person, out of sympathy, compassion, brotherly love - in short: an
internal motivation.
Doing good simply because "the Authority tells me to" does not cut it.
It comes too close to refraining from a life of crime simply because one fears the repercussions, instead of rejecting it because it harms people.
Even worse, authoritarian morality can cause people to act
worse than they ever would on their own. The Bible contains a (thankfully ahistorical) account of the Israelites slaughtering women, children and lifestock for the sake of ritual purity, all to avoid being contaminated by another religion. And history is fraught with people who believed themselves to the the highest champions of Good and Justice performing horrible deeds because of authoritarian morality: "I was just following orders." "The Cause demanded it." "I was taught that this was the right thing to do." "The Authority said it, that settles it. Case closed." "If the Authority says so, that should be good enough for any true believer. The Authority knows best."
I'd rather cultivate and refine my inner compass than try to adapt to another. This way, I might make some errors of judgment, but it's a process of training, always edging closer to the goal of truly loving my neighbour as I love myself.