Continuing on without him/her

[Christianwidow]

I have been a widow now for ten years. It has not been easy by no means, but I can say with the help of the Lord, I have gotten this far. I just want to encourage those who have recently lost your husband/wife by letting you know that even though today seems extremely dim, there will come a tomorrow when you can actually go on with your life without him/her. For now it seems your days are empty because that one particular person was a part of your life. You shared so many things together. For you, life seemed to come to an end, but for others around you, even those that were there the day your loved one departed, their lives continued on as usual. Your life will too, if you allow the Lord to help you through it. If there is someone out there that would just like to cry via this thread, please know I want to help you through it. May one day you be able to have that joy you once had. It is there just for you from the Lord.

Christian Widow

 

[Roe74]

Hello there..,
I had agreed with you, cause I'm in the same situation with you. My husband was passed away since 2003, that time my son only about 5 months old. I've been bless by Jesus through these days..
May God always bless yr life..

 

[Christianwidow]

Hello there..,
I had agreed with you, cause I'm in the same situation with you. My husband was passed away since 2003, that time my son only about 5 months old. I've been bless by Jesus through these days..
May God always bless yr life..

Hello, Roe74, and welcome. It is good to hear you have allowed Jesus to take over your life. Isn't He wonderful?

 

[pdehart]

I lost my wife of 34 years 6 months ago to cancer. We mett in High schooll and hade been together ever since. My kids are all grown and have families of their own so there lifes are very full. My wife was a devout believer, sunday school teacher and preacher of the Word. She was a born worshiper. I know where she is. And I wouldn't wish her back for anything. I know she is with the Lord. But my problem is going own. Im stuck in this timewarp. I still see her dying face, as she looked into my eyes as she passed. She was awake and pointing the angels in the room. Then she stopped breathing and the life went out of her eyes. When her life went out, she took mine with her. We knew she had cancer and was dying, but still there no way to prepare for it. My love, my life, my partner just left. And I'm stuck in nuetral and can't move on. Please pray for me and any advise would be welcomed. Thanks
Pat

 

[Christianwidow]

I lost my wife of 34 years 6 months ago to cancer. We mett in High schooll and hade been together ever since. My kids are all grown and have families of their own so there lifes are very full. My wife was a devout believer, sunday school teacher and preacher of the Word. She was a born worshiper. I know where she is. And I wouldn't wish her back for anything. I know she is with the Lord. But my problem is going own. Im stuck in this timewarp. I still see her dying face, as she looked into my eyes as she passed. She was awake and pointing the angels in the room. Then she stopped breathing and the life went out of her eyes. When her life went out, she took mine with her. We knew she had cancer and was dying, but still there no way to prepare for it. My love, my life, my partner just left. And I'm stuck in nuetral and can't move on. Please pray for me and any advise would be welcomed. Thanks
Pat

Good morning Pat,
I so much understand what you are going through right now in your journey. I, too, knew my husband had cancer and was going to go Home to Heaven shortly, but there is no preparing for it. No matter how hard you try. I am sure of one thing though, even though you are feeling so empty right now, as time goes on, you will be able to get up in the morning and start a new day without the love of your life. Cling to Jesus. He will get you through your time of sorrow. I will pray for you every day, Pat, and I know the Lord will get you through it. He loves us so much.

Christian Widow

 

[pdehart]

Christian Widow
Thanks so much for your kind words and prayers. Question, how long did it take for you to just start fealing normal after the loss of your husband. I know there will always be a loss in our hearts. I was just wondering, these holidays, the first without her a tough. Have a family holiday party with her side of the family coming up this weekend. Not sure how I will handle it. Thanks Pat

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Christian Widow
Thanks so much for your kind words and prayers. Question, how long did it take for you to just start fealing normal after the loss of your husband. I know there will always be a loss in our hearts. I was just wondering, these holidays, the first without her a tough. Have a family holiday party with her side of the family coming up this weekend. Not sure how I will handle it. Thanks Pat

Not Christian Widow, but there is no exact time frame. Everyone is different. My husband of almost 25 years passed away 6 years ago and I was "stuck" for awhile but I had to move on for my kid's sake. I didn't want them to have a mom that just sat around crying all the time, but I also let them see me cry to let them know it was OK to do so. My first holidays without my husband were extremely hard for me. I got thru it with good friends and family members and Jesus. The way I looked at it was from my husband's perspective. Would he want me to be sitting around being sad? Would he have been sitting around being sad? What would he want me to do? I know that he would not want me sitting around being sad. He would want me to move on. I am pretty sure that if I would have been the one to die first, he probably would have had a girlfriend or been re-married already a long time ago because he's just that kind of person, but I don't fault him for being that way. So I just try to make him and Jesus proud of how I am doing. I have not dated at all. My first priority is my kids (who are now teenagers so they are really breaking my heart in different ways) and my oldest told me from the get go. "I don't care if you re-marry, but he's not going to be my dad!" I told him that I wasn't looking to replace his dad. So I've just been raising them by myself. I wish alot of things were different, but they aren't. That's part of life and I don't care how old someone is, or whether we know someone is going to die (I knew about my husband just not the when, also my mom, and my FIL) you are never prepared enough to handle death. It's just so final. The other thing that helped me is that I know it's not good-bye forever. I will see him again in eternity and he is in a FAR better place than me and he is not hurting anymore. I had some questions initially for God because my Bible says you shall lay hands on the sick and they SHALL recover, not that they might or maybe if God feels like it, until the Lord showed me that my husband WAS healed in the BEST way possible, just not on this earth like I would have liked. So that really helped me. I hope some of these words help you.

 

[Christianwidow]

Christian Widow
Thanks so much for your kind words and prayers. Question, how long did it take for you to just start fealing normal after the loss of your husband. I know there will always be a loss in our hearts. I was just wondering, these holidays, the first without her a tough. Have a family holiday party with her side of the family coming up this weekend. Not sure how I will handle it. Thanks Pat

Good morning Pat,
To answer your question, it took me a very long time. My husband has been Home with the Lord now for almost 11 years. You really can't put a time frame on when you will be able to get back to "normal". As far as the way your life use to be when your precious wife was with you, that will never be normal again. You lost someone who was a part of you. But the Lord will not leave you there. He loves us so much and wants to comfort us as only He can. You will have days when you will feel so empty inside to the point you hurt. Then there will be days when you can actually smile. Pat, time does heal with the help of the Lord. As for the family holiday party coming up this weekend, I will be praying for you that you will have a wonderful time full of laughter. The Bible tells us laughter is a good medicine.

Christian Widow

 

[cajunhillbilly]

My wife of 21 years died in 2005. I am moving on now, but it took years to get to the point that I could. I have found new friends in Christ and that helps. Going to a singles group for people over 40 is a big help too. My life is starting to feel full and fun again, but I will always miss my beloved Christy. She waits for me in the bosom of Jesus.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

My wife of 21 years died in 2005. I am moving on now, but it took years to get to the point that I could. I have found new friends in Christ and that helps. Going to a singles group for people over 40 is a big help too. My life is starting to feel full and fun again, but I will always miss my beloved Christy. She waits for me in the bosom of Jesus.

My husband died in 2005 and I totally get how you feel. I will never stop loving my husband. Why should I? Anyone that would want to have a relationship with me would have to understand that, first and foremost and not be jealous of it. I haven't been to a singles group for over 40 as we don't have one here. I have been to the singles group at my church, but haven't had any real friendship connections. I am going to a bible study now. Most of the people are couples. There is one single guy. He and his wife are going thru a divorce. At least I feel like these people care about me. And some days I am jealous that my husband is already at his destination while I am still left here to take care of the children and whatever else.

 

[cajunhillbilly]

My husband died in 2005 and I totally get how you feel. I will never stop loving my husband. Why should I? Anyone that would want to have a relationship with me would have to understand that, first and foremost and not be jealous of it. I haven't been to a singles group for over 40 as we don't have one here. I have been to the singles group at my church, but haven't had any real friendship connections. I am going to a bible study now. Most of the people are couples. There is one single guy. He and his wife are going thru a divorce. At least I feel like these people care about me. And some days I am jealous that my husband is already at his destination while I am still left here to take care of the children and whatever else.

I was lucky/fortunate to find this group. It meets at Lakepoint Church in Rockwall, TX but you don't have to go there to come to this group. I have developed some great friendships through the group, esp with a lady named Deedra. We spend a lot of time together, but I still love my Christy, and Deedra understands that.

 

[hopetoheal]

I lost my wife of 34 years 6 months ago to cancer. We mett in High schooll and hade been together ever since. My kids are all grown and have families of their own so there lifes are very full. My wife was a devout believer, sunday school teacher and preacher of the Word. She was a born worshiper. I know where she is. And I wouldn't wish her back for anything. I know she is with the Lord. But my problem is going own. Im stuck in this timewarp. I still see her dying face, as she looked into my eyes as she passed. She was awake and pointing the angels in the room. Then she stopped breathing and the life went out of her eyes. When her life went out, she took mine with her. We knew she had cancer and was dying, but still there no way to prepare for it. My love, my life, my partner just left. And I'm stuck in nuetral and can't move on. Please pray for me and any advise would be welcomed. Thanks
Pat

Dear Pat, I'm praying for you right now. I lost my soulmate and love of my life only 10 weeks ago to a rare neurological disease. I too need constant prayer. Dear Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on those of us who are left behind, and bear us through this little while. Lord, give Pat comfort in your abundant love, and let him know with certainty that he was his dear wife's spiritual head while they were together on earth, and now, Lord let him become her crown in Heaven. Grant all of us the grace, faith and patience to go on. Amen.

 

[hopetoheal]

My wife of 21 years died in 2005. I am moving on now, but it took years to get to the point that I could. I have found new friends in Christ and that helps. Going to a singles group for people over 40 is a big help too. My life is starting to feel full and fun again, but I will always miss my beloved Christy. She waits for me in the bosom of Jesus.

Aww, that's so sweet. God bless and thanks for sharing that Cajunhillbilly. I'm also sure that your dear Christy would be happy for you to be able to feel this way. God is so good and His kingdom is so great. He will make us all one someday, but we will live in many mansions with the ones we loved now too. Have a great time and have fun. Jesus loves that too.

Kathleen

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I was lucky/fortunate to find this group. It meets at Lakepoint Church in Rockwall, TX but you don't have to go there to come to this group. I have developed some great friendships through the group, esp with a lady named Deedra. We spend a lot of time together, but I still love my Christy, and Deedra understands that.

You are very lucky to find this group and Deedra. Someone that understands is truly hard to come by (at least I think so). I'm very happy for you. I hope all of us that need something like this would find it too, in Jesus' name

 

[Christianwidow]

My wife of 21 years died in 2005. I am moving on now, but it took years to get to the point that I could. I have found new friends in Christ and that helps. Going to a singles group for people over 40 is a big help too. My life is starting to feel full and fun again, but I will always miss my beloved Christy. She waits for me in the bosom of Jesus.

Good morning Cajunhillbilly,
What a blessing the Lord has given you. Another proof that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Christian Widow

 

[Softbreeze]

I look forward to the day when it gets better. I can not fully think about my husband or look at all of the pictures with him or listen to a song that reminds of him without crying. I hold back a lot of things that remind me of my husband because it hurts too much. I go to a church where as 80% of the members are married. So it hurts in that way also. I can't wait to get over this. I love my husband but I'm still having a tough time without him emotionally.

 

[cajunhillbilly]

I look forward to the day when it gets better. I can not fully think about my husband or look at all of the pictures with him or listen to a song that reminds of him without crying. I hold back a lot of things that remind me of my husband because it hurts too much. I go to a church where as 80% of the members are married. So it hurts in that way also. I can't wait to get over this. I love my husband but I'm still having a tough time without him emotionally.

You will never stop loving your departed spouse, but it does get better. Even now I have moments of sorrow, but they are not as intense or prolonged as they were just after my wife passed away. Plus I am moving on, even though I will always miss Christy and look forward to when i can see her again.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

This is a wonderful blog Christianwidow, I can totally relate. Blessings!

 

[Christianwidow]

This is a wonderful blog Christianwidow, I can totally relate. Blessings!

Thank you, ThyLovingkindness. I praise the Lord that He has given me this journey. As I read what other widows/widowers have posted, it makes me realize just how far the Lord has brought me. I never thought I would be able to go on with life, but I have. And all because of HIM. I'm so grateful for all the promises my Savior has given me. I look back to 2001, the year my sweet husband went Home to be with the Lord, and I can see how the Lord has brought me along, day by day. As you know, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible either. I can say that now. I couldn't say it then. I never looked to people to get me through this journey. I looked to Jesus. When my husband went Home, I had three children to finish raising. All three are now raising their own families. I have been blessed with grandchildren to love now. As for my church, it is very small and mostly filled with young people. Young people that the Lord has put in my path to hopefully be a blessing to. I am at the age where I know there will probably never be another opportunity to be a help meet to a man, a calling which I so enjoyed. But I am also at the age where I love being called Grandma. I love helping my children and their children. One day this will all be over, and I will be with Jesus, but until then, I just want to be a blessing and an encouragement to all those that the Lord puts in my path. May this day for you, ThyLovingkindness, be filled with the presence of the Lord. Oh how He loves us!

Christian Widow

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Christianwidow, may I ask you. What ways do you think the church could better service widows? Ours only has a meeting once a week. I don't even know how they find out about widows. If you can think back to your needs in the beginning (which I know for me were many) do you have any suggestions?