can anyone help me find faith?

[silverslipper]

Hi everyone,
I grew up in a christian family and accepted Jesus into my life at a young age, followed Jesus best I could, was baptised in water and the spirit but this is the honest truth, i never felt anything. I always wanted to, I prayed all the while, listened, read the bible but it all seemed like I didn't get it. I had a hard life, sexually abused by family, then married to an abusive man who I am sticking by because it seemns the right thing and i love him so much. When we got married the genuine opinion of people around was it was Gods purpose for us to be together, everyone said prophetic things about his ministery for God etc and now he is a drunk who does not work etc. Then the church leader who i admired and loved was found guilty for child sex offences against a congregation member who was my friend. That basically took the last shreds of my faith away because he denied it all, and if he is lying then i can't believe his teachings and if she is lying then i don't get why god is so unjust. I seriously have no faith left nowand I am desperate for a relationship with Jesus and God, life is meaningless and empty without, I have slipped into mental illness and feel I so need to find God but I really don't know how because I am really not sure he is real. Please help me anyway you can it will be most appreciated x

 

[steve_bakr]

I am sorry to hear about all the difficulties you are going through. Human beings have flaws, and that goes for Christians, too.

You are definitely at a crossroads, a spiritual crisis, but a spiritual crisis may eventually make your faith stronger.

I would take first things first. Get treatment for your own mental illness. Then, if you insist on staying with your husband--or even if not--start attending Alanon meetings. I promise you will find love, support, and help if you do. Then, consider finding a new church, maybe even a different kind of church.

Your desire for a relationship with Jesus Christ is proof that God is working in you. Hold on to that desire. Keep your faith. Remember that faith is not always evidenced by our feelings, and that faith is a gift but it is also a choice you make, especially in hard times.

Finally, I won't try and tell you whether or not to stay or leave your husband. There are Alanons who make the decision to stay with their alcoholic. But I do want to tell you that God does not obligate you to remain in an intolerable marriage.

My God guide you through these difficult times.

 

[drich0150]

Put your trust in God and not on the ablities and life choices of falliable men. We do this by securing a measure of the Holy Spirit for ourselves and if you are faithful to what you have been given the Spirit will teach direct and guide you himself.

How does one obtain a measure of the Holy spirit?
Luke 11 Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose one of you went to your friend’s house very late at night and said to him, ‘A friend of mine has come into town to visit me. But I have nothing for him to eat. Please give me three loaves of bread.’ 7 Your friend inside the house answers, ‘Go away! Don’t bother me! The door is already locked. My children and I are in bed. I cannot get up and give you the bread now.’ 8 I tell you, maybe friendship is not enough to make him get up to give you the bread. But he will surely get up to give you what you need if you continue to ask. 9 So I tell you, continue to ask, and God will give to you. Continue to search, and you will find. Continue to knock, and the door will open for you. 10 Yes, whoever continues to ask will receive. Whoever continues to look will find. And whoever continues to knock will have the door opened for them. 11 Do any of you have a son? What would you do if your son asked you for a fish? Would any father give him a snake? 12 Or, if he asked for an egg, would you give him a scorpion? Of course not! 13 Even you who are bad know how to give good things to your children. So surely your heavenly Father knows how to give the Holy Spirit to the people who ask him.”

Ask Seek and knock for the gift of the Holy Spirit and allow Him to heal your 'faith.'

 

[bling]

You need to find a true Christian to talk with (which may not be at your local church). You will find true Christians on the front line where needy people are (you might look to joining an intercity group).

 

[koshka]

Having just been through an experience where I 'lost' faith for a while, I would say try talking sincerely and honestly to God about how you are feeling, acknowledging your doubts and questions and the thoughts you are having, and ask for help with understanding and with faith to trust that He will answer. I realise that you are not sure that He is real at the moment, and that is what happened to me - but after a time of unbelief, as I reached out and kept on searching for Him and tried to be open to whatever He might be saying, then He communicated some things very clearly to me and I became more aware of how He might speak to me.

Also, it can be a time of digging deeper into scriptures and historical evidence and as you do that you can ask the Lord questions as you go. The answers may not come right away, but He does hear. I found speaking to other mature Christians really helpful and posting on this forum helpful too.

In addition, when I felt unable to pray to God, I journalled my thoughts and questions and found that helpful.

 

[PashNut4Jesus]

Oh my heart aches for you. I very much relate to your experience. You have been offered some good advice here. Al Anon would be a good thing to get involved in. You also need at least one or two close Christian friends (same sex) who can walk with you in this, however, it seems you may not have that at the moment?

Since I have experienced an abusive marriage, I would advise you to get out. That destroys your sense of security, you can't think straight . . . I know you feel you are an emotional shambles right now. I wish I could be there to give you hugs, a shoulder to lean on and an ear to bend.

You will need a lot of support to get through this, but please hold on to your faith in God. He will never let you down like people will.

Will you please post again and let us know how you are?

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hi,

I am sure God understands where you are at. Hard times makes it hard for us to love God. But this does not change God's love for us. As for feeling stuff as a Christian when I was first saved I felt God once, I have never felt him since, feelings are not important our relationship with God is. You mentioned you want proof of God. I will share with you what I use as proof when people ask. I have included one true story here from my life, and included a link to my website where I record all the times God has given me proof of his existence.

One morning I got up and walked into the hall and I heard a voice that I believed was God say "How would you like to be stabbed in the Valley". The Valley was known as the rough end of town, and the voice scared me a little, I wondered if I had done something to offend God. I had planned to go down to the Valley to ask people out to church as was my habit at the time. In the end I went anyway regardless of the fear. I walked up to the first person I met and asked him if he would like to go out to church. He said to me "I am an atheist, I don't believe in God". I just said "fine", but hoped to change his mind. He then proceeded to unbutton his shirt and showed me scar marks up and down his chest and stomach. He said to me, "I was attacked by a knife wielding man in the Valley some time ago and spent months recovering in hospital, How could God allow that to happen to me". Then I knew why God had said in the morning "How would I like to be stabbed?". God understood this man, but had a good plan for him. Some weeks latter this man came out to church and became a Christian.

My website is Know God Personally

 

[Harry3142]

Silverslipper-

It sounds like the people you have referred to tried to be righteous, but they made the serious error of thinking that they could reconstruct their sinful nature in order to accomplish this. That will not happen. With the sinful nature as the impetus for what we say and do, the results will inevitably be a disaster. As Christians we are not to depend on our original, sinful nature. Instead, we are to depend on God to 'rein in' that sinful nature, and then provide us with a new nature through which we can succeed in saying and doing what accords with his will:

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:16-26,NIV)

The motivations listed as 'the acts of the sinful nature' will always culminate in the commission of sinful acts. No one can use those motivations in order to perform acts of righteousness any more than I can get into my car here in Ohio and drive it to London, England. They are the motivations which lead to the commission of every sinful act, as they always have been and always will be. Since the nature is evil, the results will be evil. A poisoned tree cannot bear good fruit.

In order for our words and actions to be seen as righteous, the underlying motivations for them must also be righteous. And that takes place through our being given a new nature, just as we are given our salvation. It is only through having 'the fruit of the Spirit' as the underlying cause for what we say and do that those words and actions can have assurance of conforming to God's will. That's why the next words after the listing of the 'fruit' are, "Against such things there is no law." So long as these 'fruit' form the borders within which our words and actions originate, those words and actions will automatically conform to the spirit of the law.

What you need right now is solid support so that you can get your own life onto an even keel. Take the advice that has been given to you here; get to Alanon, where others can give you the help and moral support you need. After they have strengthened you, then deal with the problems you have at home and in the church. But take care of yourself first.

God bless-