Asking for prayer

[Raistlinorr]

It seems that every time I start to grow close to God things happen that makes me feel down and out of reach of God.

Well a few months ago I started growing close to God once again. I started praying more than I had before and ask God to show me some things. Well he did he sent me a dream that I can clearly remember to this day (never had a dream affect me like this ever). Since that dream I have changed alot again.

Well then the 4th of this month my wife and I found out she was 22 week pregnant when she miscarried. We had no idea she was on the pill and showed no signs. Since that day I've started to wonder why then I started wondering what I might have done to make God punish me like this. I was ready for kids but my wife was not now she seems to want a family which is good for me we have also grown closer than ever because of this.

I ask for prayer though that I stop questioning every thing I believe it to be wrong but I can't seem to break free of this. Though I would love to see some medical reasons why this happened I know I should not be asking God why he took my son. And I'm pretty sure I should not be asking him if I made he angry and this is my punishment.

I'm one of those ppl who constantly thinks of things and since this it's about all I can think about I still pray to God and ask for forgivness of what ever sins I might have commited that day as we all should. But I don't want to be questioning God and loose my realationship with him. I've had the best relationship with him ever before this and now I think I'm like the nagging in law (no offence meant my in laws are great but the portrayal of them by society is what I meant). I'm worried that I'll loose what I have with God if I can't stop asking questions of him about this.

Maybe I'm just going nuts I know at times it feels like it. I hurts me deeply that I lost my son but I have yet to actualy break down and let loose of every thing. And I feel bad about this I want to let loose of my grief in stead of just a little here and there. But I'm not getting this either. I know that we are not perfect and we will sin but questioning God seems like a major sin to me I feel I'm realy doing something wrong here. I'll gladly take some advice and all the prayer any one is willing to give.

And may God forgive me for the questions that I ask him and myself daily.

Thank you and God bless

 

[AllTalkNoAction]

God allowing your wife to conceive is not a punishment, it's a blessing because it has shown you your own weakness so that you call for help and God answers with the offer of supplying all the love and spiritual understanding you need through the infilling of His Spirit:-

Ac:2:4: And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

Have you received that ?

39: For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.

 

[Honibee]

Hi Raistlinorr,

My heart goes out to you and your wife. It's not an easy thing
to miscarry a baby. . .

As a nurse, I would like to put to rest the guilt you seem to be
carrying. If your wife didn't know she was pregnant, and took the
pill while carrying the baby- that is most likely what caused her
to miscarry.

Please know the Lord weeps with you in this, and is TOUCHED by
the grief you and your wife are facing. He is a God of life, and
does not delight in death. . .

This hug is for you and your wife, hon

 

[Raistlinorr]

God allowing your wife to conceive is not a punishment, it's a blessing because it has shown you your own weakness so that you call for help and God answers with the offer of supplying all the love and spiritual understanding you need through the infilling of His Spirit:-

Ac:2:4: And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

Have you received that ?

39: For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.

Yes I have. But due to coming under a heavy attack from the enemy at that time and being a newbie in the walk with the Lord I faltered. I listened to what the enemy was telling me and felt I would never make it to an eternal life with my savior.

Until recently this year I had a dream that scared me enough to run back to Christ. I had ask for the Lord to show me the answers to a few questions I had and he did. Since that dream I see that I've began a strong and quick change. Once again I walk with my Lord and I've prayed for him to return the blessings of the Holy Ghost. I feel that it is a blessing one of the best when I look back and remember the feeling that I once experienced I know I want that back.

I had said that I had been asking questions and that my mind was not moving any where. Well I have to admit that I had been trying to deal with most of this on my own. I'm still faily new at my walk with the Lord but after some deep prayer last night and being that I'm a few years older than before I see that is what I was doing. And thanks to the prayer of those here around me and the prayer of those here at CF today I slept better than I had before any of this took place. I have always felt since early teens the need to be a husban and a father. I know with the grace of God I will have another child soon. He has been telling me this but I don't think I was really listening the way I should. One thing is for sure this has prepared me more for what is to come and (thanks to finally coming here) take more comfort in the Lord as I was being directed to do. I think that some times I and some other forget that God wants us to come to him with every thing and not try to work it out on our own.

God has been speaking to me this past week or so to find a place such as CF so that I can speak to ppl from all over and that this will help my walk with the Lord. I work a rotating/swing shift so it realy messes up your getting to go to church as often as needed or being able to call those who can help you when needed. The Lord has been speaking to me of finding a place such as this so that at any time while I'm home I can tell ppl whats going on and get help or advice from them. Well last night I obeyed that command and found this place. I was rewarded with the best sleep in what seems to be ages.

I know there will be more tough times ahead as the walk with the Lord is never an easy one but I was spoken to while in prayer that I was not turning every thing I could over to God. I know he is the only true answer and the only true comfort.

I still see more change coming in my life and I welcome it. I know I need to turn every problem fully over to God and do what he wants me to do to make that problem better. I also now understand that I may be trying to hard to hear God some times and that is why we must speak to each other as he may tell some one else to say some thing to me because I'm not hearing him.

I have seen demons vanish and ppl healed and know with out a doubt tht the power of God is more real than I could ever hope to fully understand. And with my prayers and the prayers of others things will turn around.

Sorry about getting off subjuct and rambling on I am just feeling so much joy right now and want to share that. I tend to go off in different directions and start writing books when I have things on my mind.

God willing though I'll be able to use this place to get more questions or just hear the words needed to be heard more often since I came here.

Thank you all and God bless

 

[4childofgod]

hi,
just wanted to say my heart goes out to you! God can handle our questions are doubts our unbelief some days. He is God he can do anything! Keep asking I bet you grow through the questions. blessings

 

[Raistlinorr]

I met my friend I have been trying to contact for the past few months yesterday because God delivered him to where I was going to be at that time. I have been trying to get in contact with him ever since my dream God sent me.


And God has shown me that I was trying to run in the past before I had learned to crawl. I'm still new to Christ and can't figure out as much as I would like to right off the bat. This shows me that I must pray about alot more than I had ever first thought. Thinking to much seems to be my biggest personal problem trying to solve every thing that comes my way. I know I can't do it all with out help. I now relize it's that asking now (the crawling part) that makes us stronger to where we just naturaly pray (the running part) any way for things later on.
The bad part is I was told this before but never truely listened as well as I should have which caused me to have even more problems.


But with alot of prayer I'll start to understand more.
Thank you all and God bless.

 

[bethdinsmore]

Hi friend -
Sounds like you are learning some valuable lessons. Like this one:

2 Cor 1:9
9 Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
(NIV)

This is called the Exchanged Life, or Letting Go and Letting God. The most important lesson we can learn, next to salvation. This is why mature Christians (only) say that living the Christian life is easy.

*learning to let go and let God - "They Found the Secret" can be ordered from a Christian bookstore - It tells the story of many Christians who learned how;

my experience in giving up: I felt like a lion was pursuing me across the top of a mesa. No matter how fast I ran, he was slowly catching up to me. Finally I felt myself nearing the edge, and I was forced to give up trying to help myself. I had two choices: either be destroyed (mental collapse), or leap off the edge and hope God would catch me. I cried out to God, "Lord, I can't fix myself - if you don't fix me, I'm not going to be fixed."

The journey takes a while, but there are precious stones and pieces of gold to pick up all along the way. As you pick them up, your burden will be lightened. And some day you will be able to bless others with your abundance. "My mess became my message, and my misery became my ministry."

"...He who has begun a good work in you will continue to perform it ...." Ph. 1:6 (all verses from NIV)
II Corinthians 1: "In our hearts we felt the sentence of death, but these things happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

Eph. 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

II Chron. 20:15 "The battle is not yours, but God's." (this is taken out of context, but still has a secondary application - we are the soldiers, just cooperating with our Commander)
Phil 1:6 he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:11-13 I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances....I have learned the secret of being content....I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Romans 12:2 ...be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will.
II Corinthians 1:9 "In our hearts we felt the sentence of death, but these things happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Prov. 3:5-6)
Isa 55:11 11 "… my word that goes out from my mouth… will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire ."
Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


God bless you friend. I will pray for you. Aloha in Jesus

P.S. Looked over your post again. If you are feeling obsessive/compulsive, it would be good to consult your doctor if you haven't already, in case he feels you need medication. It certainly enabled me to grow MUCH faster in the Lord.

 

[rocklife]

perhaps renewing your mind is also needed, to help the what if's stop torturing you. I had to do this, still do, prayerfully, also with tools like listening to my walkmen with bible tapes, different versions even. God's word will guide you, and give you the real and only Hope we have to rely on. am praying for you

 

[Raistlinorr]

perhaps renewing your mind is also needed, to help the what if's stop torturing you. I had to do this, still do, prayerfully, also with tools like listening to my walkmen with bible tapes, different versions even. God's word will guide you, and give you the real and only Hope we have to rely on. am praying for you

I'ld say the renewing my mind is probably what I need. I have no real issues when I'm home. I have my wife, pets, and access to any thing that I need.

When I'm at work it's a different story (I work 12 hour swing/rotating shift).
I mentioned that my mind is always thinking (I swear it never stops I go to sleep thinking and wake up thinking) btw it make is difficult to watch movies that require full atention at times . Any way at work I pretty much keep to myself more now than I did in the past (because a few months ago I left the luke warm stage due to prayer for some answers and the dream that was sent to me). I do this because I work factory and most ppl know what factory life is like. So I do my job and think my thoughts I pray alot but when you sit there with only your thoughts you start to hear that little voice in your ear to make you feel down. So you pray for that to go away and it does but returns again (12 hours can be a long time when your praying to igmore a voice in your ear). After awhile your thoughts end up on what the voice has said which can bum you out. Now this is not a always thing only on the day/nights when you get bored if I can stay busy I go through with no problems. But yes my mind is in deffinite need of a recharge. Thankfully I have the next few days off so that will help.

Now when I say I'm always thinking I don't mean it's always bad though most of the time it's not but when I'm hit with the anouying little voice that will not stop pestering me I do get to thinking on not so good things. Last night at work was bad but could have been worse lots of prayer and working to think about other things helped out. And of course coming home and seeing my wife made me feel better also. If I could take her along to get a hug when I needed one I'ld feel alot better .

On a good note I've felt a familier twing the past few days starting to emerge some. I think I may have had the hand of the Holy Spirit on my shoulder this past few years and just have not been paying attention. It's hard to explain where I have been the past few years but I'll try any way. As I said I went luke warm but a good graphic way to say it is before the Lord and myself walked beside the road together. Then I started walking in the middle of the road where I could still see and hear him but didn't have the nearness that I once had or have now. Then a few months ago I looked over his way and ask if I could walk beside him again because dodging cars was making me tiered and of course he said yes. Now to me this referance makes complete sence but since I've been up for quite some time it may not be that clear to others. But I think every one will get what I'm saying.

Any way once again I've started to bable on so I'll leave you with this.
Thank you all and God bless