It seems that every time I start to grow close to God things happen that makes me feel down and out of reach of God.
Well a few months ago I started growing close to God once again. I started praying more than I had before and ask God to show me some things. Well he did he sent me a dream that I can clearly remember to this day (never had a dream affect me like this ever). Since that dream I have changed alot again.
Well then the 4th of this month my wife and I found out she was 22 week pregnant when she miscarried. We had no idea she was on the pill and showed no signs. Since that day I've started to wonder why then I started wondering what I might have done to make God punish me like this. I was ready for kids but my wife was not now she seems to want a family which is good for me we have also grown closer than ever because of this.
I ask for prayer though that I stop questioning every thing I believe it to be wrong but I can't seem to break free of this. Though I would love to see some medical reasons why this happened I know I should not be asking God why he took my son. And I'm pretty sure I should not be asking him if I made he angry and this is my punishment.
I'm one of those ppl who constantly thinks of things and since this it's about all I can think about I still pray to God and ask for forgivness of what ever sins I might have commited that day as we all should. But I don't want to be questioning God and loose my realationship with him. I've had the best relationship with him ever before this and now I think I'm like the nagging in law (no offence meant my in laws are great but the portrayal of them by society is what I meant). I'm worried that I'll loose what I have with God if I can't stop asking questions of him about this.
Maybe I'm just going nuts I know at times it feels like it. I hurts me deeply that I lost my son but I have yet to actualy break down and let loose of every thing. And I feel bad about this I want to let loose of my grief in stead of just a little here and there. But I'm not getting this either. I know that we are not perfect and we will sin but questioning God seems like a major sin to me I feel I'm realy doing something wrong here. I'll gladly take some advice and all the prayer any one is willing to give.
And may God forgive me for the questions that I ask him and myself daily.
Thank you and God bless
Well a few months ago I started growing close to God once again. I started praying more than I had before and ask God to show me some things. Well he did he sent me a dream that I can clearly remember to this day (never had a dream affect me like this ever). Since that dream I have changed alot again.
Well then the 4th of this month my wife and I found out she was 22 week pregnant when she miscarried. We had no idea she was on the pill and showed no signs. Since that day I've started to wonder why then I started wondering what I might have done to make God punish me like this. I was ready for kids but my wife was not now she seems to want a family which is good for me we have also grown closer than ever because of this.
I ask for prayer though that I stop questioning every thing I believe it to be wrong but I can't seem to break free of this. Though I would love to see some medical reasons why this happened I know I should not be asking God why he took my son. And I'm pretty sure I should not be asking him if I made he angry and this is my punishment.
I'm one of those ppl who constantly thinks of things and since this it's about all I can think about I still pray to God and ask for forgivness of what ever sins I might have commited that day as we all should. But I don't want to be questioning God and loose my realationship with him. I've had the best relationship with him ever before this and now I think I'm like the nagging in law (no offence meant my in laws are great but the portrayal of them by society is what I meant). I'm worried that I'll loose what I have with God if I can't stop asking questions of him about this.
Maybe I'm just going nuts I know at times it feels like it. I hurts me deeply that I lost my son but I have yet to actualy break down and let loose of every thing. And I feel bad about this I want to let loose of my grief in stead of just a little here and there. But I'm not getting this either. I know that we are not perfect and we will sin but questioning God seems like a major sin to me I feel I'm realy doing something wrong here. I'll gladly take some advice and all the prayer any one is willing to give.
And may God forgive me for the questions that I ask him and myself daily.
Thank you and God bless