Another Moral Issue

[Mayflower1]

Is self-injury wrong... I feel I might again, but it makes me so guilty... it has been close to 5 months I haven't cut, I don't know how much longer I can hold out... It is so wrong though.

 

[CSmrw]

Why do you self injure?

 

[DieHappy]

Yes. Feel alive by taking a walk or climbing a rock or robbing a bank because you're going to go too far and have to explain those scars someday and will be embarrassing. Better talk to someone about it, working through these things now will save you a lot of torment later.

 

[NPH]

I don't know what to say lily, I have no experience with this sort of difficulty. I certainly hope someone with a bit of knowledge and compassion comes along quickly to help you out with this.

The only thing I can offer is that i'm sure the love, compassion and prayers of many here are being offered towards you right now

 

[Mayflower1]

I don't know how to explain it. I don't feel. I feel, but I have no idea what it is. I have no idea what is bringing me down so bad... I hate it so much. I have been doing so good and now, one little cut I might do today will mess it all up...

 

[CSmrw]

I don't know how to explain it. I don't feel. I feel, but I have no idea what it is. I have no idea what is bringing me down so bad... I hate it so much. I have been doing so good and now, one little cut I might do today will mess it all up...

What are you hoping to feel? By the way, do not cut yourself today. Or hurt yourself in any other way, today. You can do that much.

 

[Mayflower1]

I can't do anything except for complain and bring everyone down.

 

[CSmrw]

I can't do anything except for complain and bring everyone down.

I ain't down. You have a legitimate concern.

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

I have never been into cutting but when I was suicidal I cut my wrists. You really need to be in couseling, maybe even a group so you have someone to call on days like this. Cutting is a side effect to deeper issues. You feel like you are bringing everyone down and that is the problem. Cutting is giving you some control but it's a false sense of control. It's not helping the problem. Other things may help for a while but you need to address those other issues. You can call this number and let then help you find a couselor who specializes in this near you. Please. 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

 

[NPH]

Temporary solutions are just that though, temporary. The problem is still there and it's likely going to grow worse for being ignored. Be stronger than the "quick fix". Do whatever gives you the strength to overcome this, look at your own signature ... it's got an answer for you even.

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

If it's temporary it's not solving anything. Duct taping a boat isn't going to keep it afloat for long. Your self esteem isn't going to let you get better without some help from someone who has been through it. You don't want to go through life this miserable and you don't have to. Trust me.

 

[Mayflower1]

It has what has been keeping me going so far. that and the red marker. I went through counseling and everything. I am not going through that again. I am not possessed by a demon, I don't need someone to keep saying "I rebuke thee Satan..." a hundred million times.

I was doing so good. Now though, I had to get off the medicine I was taking until we get insurance or something.

 

[CSmrw]

Temporarily. The world is chock full of folks who are into temporarily fixing things. Perhaps it;s time to look at a more permanent and positive fix. Perhaps that's why you spoke up today. I say it's a good thing to look into. Maybe this is the day you find a way to beat what you want to beat. Does that make sense?

 

[Mayflower1]

It is better then killing myself though.

 

[CSmrw]

It is better then killing myself though.

That is true. But you can also be happier and more positive without doing either.

 

[NPH]

It has what has been keeping me going so far. that and the red marker. I went through counseling and everything. I am not going through that again. I am not possessed by a demon, I don't need someone to keep saying "I rebuke thee Satan..." a hundred million times.

I was doing so good. Now though, I had to get off the medicine I was taking until we get insurance or something.

Ugh, go get some real counseling, not that stuff. That'll only make you feel worse and apparently has

I know the feeling of not being able to afford medicine that you need, as I mentioned in a rep comment to you. I'm struggling with my own suffering for another 3 months before I have insurance to cover it. Like I said to you, take it minute by minute, hour by hour and then day by day.

 

[NothingButTheBlood]

It has what has been keeping me going so far. that and the red marker. I went through counseling and everything. I am not going through that again. I am not possessed by a demon, I don't need someone to keep saying "I rebuke thee Satan..." a hundred million times.

I was doing so good. Now though, I had to get off the medicine I was taking until we get insurance or something.

I am a Baptist too and I would say don't go to a Christian couselor then. Call your pharmacists and see what agencies help with medication. You can sometimes get it for free.

 

[HisEagle]

I can't do anything except for complain and bring everyone down.

I'm hearing serious depression and self-image problems in your words, lily. Believe me, I know - I recognize the feelings. They're what caused me to hack away at my legs and arms last year.

And I still battle with those feelings. There are times when I still grab heavy objects and pound away at legs. Stay still and quiet, and look inside yourself to pinpoint exactly what is causing you to feel like that. If you can get yourself to focus on other things, such as a hobby, it helps. I admit it isn't a cure all, and sometimes the feelings are so strong that the only thing you feel will help is to hurt yourself, because it releases the pent up feelings. Personally, a lot of times I feel like I'm constantly being punished in some way, and so in my mind I figure I may as well inflict the physical representation of that mental pain upon myself. But it's like a drug that only momentarily eases the craving to hurt myself. Nothing really changes.

I might add that it's possible you could be suffering from a variation of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have OCD myself, and I know how maddening it can be. It used to be really bad, but has somehow morphed into being more about the obsessions as opposed to the compulsions. Nevertheless, I think the compulsions still want to come out in other ways. So that might be something to look into about yourself. If possible, consult a mental health associate. I know I should take my own medicine, but it's hard when you can't afford it. However, if you CAN afford it, please do that. The best I can really offer is to say you can cry out to God and beg him for mercy and help. In all honesty, I don't have many words to help you. But at the very least, know that you aren't alone.

 

[Mayflower1]

People keep saying that. One doctor did. No one else seems to agree. I don't wash my hands or anything. I don't have strange hobbies or anything like that. It is my thoughts. I stayed up all night last night because I couldn't get a story plot out of my head... I wanted to scream but didn't.

 

[NPH]

Another thing on affording medication. I discovered that most pharmacies will be more than glad to fill a prescription at twice the dosage but half the pills, with you having to break them in half to take the proper dosage. This can usually save on at least half the cost of the medication.