Anger Issues??

[ZiSunka]

I've got a problem with some of my co-workers. For years, my old boss let me be the scapegoat whenever something went wrong. It didn't matter whether I was involved in the project or not, some of my co-workers would finger me as being the one who caused the failure or delay. And because my boss doesn't like me personally (I'm a Christian with an anti-Christian boss), he would accept their version of events without looking for my side of the story.

Well, now I have a new boss, and he is falling into the same pattern.

The assitant manager of one of our divisions told my boss that I never reviewed a development master plan with him or the manager, even though I went over the plan with them twice, at great length. Then they said that they never saw a specific development plan for one area of the business (as you can guess, I am a planner), even though I personally handed them three copies of the plan and offered to meet iwth them anytime to go over it. Then yesterday, they called my boss and asked to be exempt from one requirement of the plan, even though they asked me twice and twice I told them that that requirement was essential to the success of that area of business. The plan cannot be successful without completing that requirement, but it is a difficult task requiring much hard work. I believe they did that because they didn't like my answer and wanted my boss to override my decision.

Well, I got mad at that point. I'm very tired of their lies and my boss believing those lies. In the past, I would just let it go and determine to do a more perfect job in the future, but I don't want to do that anymore. My new boss promised that things would be different, but everything's exactly the same. So, I told my boss, rather briskly, that they were already told "no" twice. They just rattled my chain a bit too much for me to overlook. My boss sat me down and told me that I have an anger problem and that I constantly try to deflect the blame to others and that I should get into counselling to find out how to "fix" myself. Then he asked me, "What would Jesus do?" rather patronizingly.

Was it inapproporiate for me to be angry at my lying co-workers who try to make themselves better by making me look bad?

I didn't yell, curse or be aggressive or violent. I just strongly told my boss the truth.

 

[Gold Dragon]

It sounds like you need to have a paper trail, like sending documents and meeting agenda/minutes via e-mail and saving them.

 

[GreenEyedLady]

That, and I would start asking for signatures whenever you discuss things with them. At the bottom of whatever papaers you are going with.........Make a seperate sheet that says..... I, ________________ Have been told about the meeting on__________ date. I have been informed of the issues regarding _____________ documents. Then, they have NO way to get out of it!
Hope this helps. But I would really pray about it and ask God what He wants you to do. Maybe you need to stand up for yourself, maybe God is wanting you in another place. Its a tough one!
GEL:

 

[RED that's ME]

There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. What is important it to be Christlike when you do. I agree with the others documenting is VERY important that will stand when people try to oppose you. If you do make a mistake be quick to admit it and try your best to resolve it.
You never know who is watching to see how you act/react especially being a christian. Satan also uses christians to turn away nonchristians. Life can stink at times but if we remain faithful and doing our best for God he will reward us.

 

[ZiSunka]

I know Paul said to be angry, but don't sin. I was angry, but I didn't sin. I don't think it's wrong for a Christian to say someone's lying when someone really is lying.

I guess I'm going to have to start doing everything in writing and getting receipts for everything with that crew. Humbug! It creates a LOT more work for me. I have to handle the planning for 23 divisions, and having to produce a detailed papertrail will drag my productivity down a lot.

 

[ZiSunka]

But I would really pray about it and ask God what He wants you to do. Maybe you need to stand up for yourself, maybe God is wanting you in another place. Its a tough one!
GEL:

I am leaving in a little while, as soon as I can finish up a couple projects and sell my house, so I can direct my non-profit fulltime. I think I've done all the planning I want to do. It's very hard work, and it's all the harder when people work against it instead of becoming part of the process. Things are going to change, HAVE to change in every business if that business is going to stay competitive, but a lot of people have a hard time with change so they take it out on the planner. YOu know, like that old saying about shooting the messenger.

 

[theseed]

Was it inapproporiate for me to be angry at my lying co-workers who try to make themselves better by making me look bad?

I would say that you are justifiably angry, and more importantly we must remember that we can be angry, and not sin (Ps. 4.4, Eph. 4.26).

There are alot of options you can chose from. You may have to find another job.

If I were you, I would start documenting the things that are said to you, and how they are said. Write down the times, places, and people. Then file a harrassment complaint.

 

[theseed]

I know Paul said to be angry, but don't sin. I was angry, but I didn't sin. I don't think it's wrong for a Christian to say someone's lying when someone really is lying.

I guess I'm going to have to start doing everything in writing and getting receipts for everything with that crew. Humbug! It creates a LOT more work for me. I have to handle the planning for 23 divisions, and having to produce a detailed papertrail will drag my productivity down a lot.

That's a good idea, and it may be more work in the long run, but it could save you grief, hardship, and time in the long run.