Beth1231 said:
Egghead, this might sound a bit strange but the one part of your post that jumped out at me was "not some 25 year old kid who can't keep his pants on". How can you make a patronizing comment like that and not see your wife as "a kid" also?
Very, very fair question
When we first met I spent the entire first year watching her very closely.
Being married to an adulteress before, Ive come to learn all the little warning signs/patterns to watch for.
I was watching for any little inconsistancy or issue so I would know whether she was worth trusting or not.
Im generally a very good judge of character, irritatingly so it seems.
To be honest, the warning bells were blaring when the ex and I were talking marriage, I just ignored them as much as possible cause of being young and stupid.
With my honey, I scrutinized everything about her so I wouldnt make the same mistakes.
my ex was 2 years older than I am. She was selfish, bitter, had no clue how to be a mother or a wife, spent money faster than we could make it, didnt think we should waste money on luxuries like food, electric, moneys owed, gas, etc so she could go shopping or to bingo.
With my wife now, she had a savings account that had $650 in it from her bday money as a kid, shed never spent any of it, plus she stuck all the money she made from her summer jobs in the bank and made it last all winter during college.
She exhibits none of those qualities of the ex.
She is very generous, yet knows where the line is on spending.
She is 20 years younger than my exwife, but actually acts older, more mature in every aspect save one, she likes to play and wrestle with me through the house. something the ex never would do.
I"m not trying to insult you or point a finger. I'm just curious.
No, I understand, and I can see why youd ask
I find that guys and girls who are even ten years older than me try to be patronizing at times.
I am so sorry.
Let me amend my comment to say ''some young men"
Although I'm fairly sure you aren't like that with your wife, how do you avoid it?
Because she has proven herself, as you are doing right now.
You sound very mature and are concerned with how others view you. Im quite sure Id see you in the same light I do my wife, maturity wise
My wife wouldnt even date guys her own age.
Shed say begin to like one and hed do something really immature and shed get really turned off and just not have anything to do with him.
Lots of young women want more maturity in a companion Im starting to notice.
I can't help but look at a 18 year old guy and think thoughts like "kid who hasn't grown up yet" most of the time. I guess that's why I'm asking that.
For the most part youd be right.
''many'' young men that age arent much more than kids mentally.
Not all, just many.
Its hard for a woman to tell sometimes.
Id suggest caution to all young women who are more mature mentally to be very careful. Young men lots of times will put on any act required to get what they want. And that usually is the one thing a woman should hold on to.
I married a man who is three years older, so I'm curious about the thought process of a marriage like the one you are in.
As I said, I scrutinized everything about her for about a year before I started to lighten up more.
I did this mostly secretly, but I did tell her I was and why.
Neither of us needed a bad relationship for obvious reasons.
So your hubby is 25ish?
That is most likely about the youngest I think a man should marry.
Some are surely ready before then, but many arent and they ruin the life of a decent young lady by putting her through hell, then dumping her with a couple kids. Its sad, but true many times.
If you have a kind, loving, supportive young man, hold on to him as best you can. Take time out of each day for each other. Give everything you can to him and hopefully he will for you as well.
My wife and I intentionally practice selflessness each and every day.
We do this purposefully to build good habits that will last our whole marriage.
Id like to know more about your hubby.
Is he mature ?
Does he believe the man is to support the wife financially and to take care of her?
Does he detest the idea of ever cheating on you, so much so that he knows that to do so is betraying himself as well as you?
Does he put only God before you and your marriage?
Im just asking because it really tickles me when I see a young couple together where both really have it together. Its rare, but it does happen
God bless
about it and thought i am not going to get in a relationship like that because they argue and stuff. Im in a long distant relationship and he is 9 month older than me.i feel safe like that, its nice and not to like eew.we have been going out a year n nearly 3 month and going strong.yay.
I am new to this forum/site all together and I am hoping to get some really good christian advice...I believe I am in the right spot!
I wish your relationship with this man, be it friendship or more, the best of luck! 
