A thread just for Jo!

[Ariel]

Praying for you Jo! (((hugs)))

 

[Jo1]

Its been a bit of a better day generally. But ive been getting down again, Ive not really talked to anyone recently or seen anyone.
Ive felt so down that I havent even been able to tell my husband wots going on. I txted a friend tonight she's in pain and I think I put my foot in it big time I just said the wrong thing oh well. I guess Im just feeling lonely. Oh if I could just open up. Ive got an appointment for my assesment with counselling on Thursday which I will have to change the time its about midday. Im hoping they can give me a later time. I certainly need the help right now. Things are tough.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Hi Jo!

I'm sorry to hear you "put your foot in it" with your friend. Hon, we are all human and we all have bad days and say the wrong thing at the wrong time and then come to our senses later. Why don't you just humbly admit your mistake and ask her to forgive you? Trust me, if she's anything like me she'll remember all the mistakes SHE'S made and be glad to give a good friend another chance.

You said you can't tell your dear hubby what's going on and that you wish you could just open up. What do you mean? Do you wish you could talk to him more and have him understand? You know I have the best dear hubby in the world right? Well one thing I've learned about men is that they do NOT tend to understand that whole "be supportive and understanding" thing even if you stand right there in front of him and ask him for it! Men are just men dear and that's why G-d gives you lady friends who love you and who DO understand. Maybe you can think of one bit to tell him or one sentence to get the conversation started... We can brainstorm here if you'd like to try.

Also you know what? Remember how I said I have the world's best dear hubby? Yeah--even we hit sort of rough patches, so don't worry, lovely one. It's not easy to talk to our hubby's about "hard stuff" but sometimes we just have to do it.

I love you! Write back when you have a minute okay? again!

~Faithful

 

[Jo1]

Hi Jo!

I'm sorry to hear you "put your foot in it" with your friend. Hon, we are all human and we all have bad days and say the wrong thing at the wrong time and then come to our senses later. Why don't you just humbly admit your mistake and ask her to forgive you? Trust me, if she's anything like me she'll remember all the mistakes SHE'S made and be glad to give a good friend another chance.

You said you can't tell your dear hubby what's going on and that you wish you could just open up. What do you mean? Do you wish you could talk to him more and have him understand? You know I have the best dear hubby in the world right? Well one thing I've learned about men is that they do NOT tend to understand that whole "be supportive and understanding" thing even if you stand right there in front of him and ask him for it! Men are just men dear and that's why G-d gives you lady friends who love you and who DO understand. Maybe you can think of one bit to tell him or one sentence to get the conversation started... We can brainstorm here if you'd like to try.

Also you know what? Remember how I said I have the world's best dear hubby? Yeah--even we hit sort of rough patches, so don't worry, lovely one. It's not easy to talk to our hubby's about "hard stuff" but sometimes we just have to do it.

I love you! Write back when you have a minute okay? again!

~Faithful

Hi faithfulwife hope your ok. Ive missed seeing you around so its nice to hear from you. Yes I did put my foot in where my friends concerned.
I didnt realise but my friend Annie went into hospital on Saturday
She has either a prolapsed disc in back or a trapped nerve she has been in considerable pain which they are trying to control. We visited her yesterday in hospital. She is due to have an MRI scan might b today to see what problem is. I felt bad because I had txted her and said I wasnt doing well. Which I wodnt even bothered mention if I had known. I was feeling lonely I guess..
Anyway concerning not talking to hubby I just havent been talking to him emotionally what ive been going through. Like the other day I was feeling very low and suicidal like and I codnt tell him I still havent to be honest I know thats bad. I did talk to samaritans on Monday night.
Im finding it very difficult to open up to people locally here, and I dont know who too either.
Anyway God bless u Cindy hope everythings ok with u. I apreciate your comments. Love u Joxxx

 

[Jo1]

A few things have happened recently.
Friday I decided to go docs after long struggle about whether to go on anti-depressants. Long story.. anyway I was put on Prozac.
Is this wot happens when you dont cope with life you end up doing this
In afternoon I went to my counselling assesment which went well as well as it could go. She seemed really nice her name is Jackie and she is a Christian too though its not christian counselling.
Today Ive had a really hard day Two ladies came round to see dad from hospital. Dad didnt do very well at all when they asked him questions. Its really down hill from here I dont want to deal with this, but basically we may be looking at care home now. Lady coming round to do assesment tomorrow to get carers in which will be short term I think. The decision is up to me though in the end whether he should go in home or not this is very difficult To be honest I dont want to deal with this right at this moment. I spoke to friend tonight with tears in my eyes..

 

[Ariel]

Jo, I am so sorry. I know this hurts. I am praying for you. (((hug)))

 

[Jo1]

thanks diana well thats it now dad has to go into care He cant live on his own anymore he is not coping. Will be taking him to a respite place to start with until we can get him into a place into a care home. This is all quite a big shock really I hope he will be ok..

 

[Ariel]

Jo, I know this is hard, but I am sure he will be well cared for. The social interaction with people his age may help, and he will be cared for.

I am praying for you and him and your family.

(((hug)))

 

[Jo1]

Its been kind of a difficult day I took the day off work. Dad was due to go to respite tonight, unfortuanetly he would not come. No matter how much we tried to persuade him. Lady from care management team came aswell.
We will try again tomorrow. It is a hard thing for him and us to do but I know Gods in this. God is helping me by helping me smile which is reducing stress. Praise Him.

 

[Ariel]

Praise God, Jo! I know this has been difficult, but praise God that He is helping you through it.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Dear Jo!

I know this is REALLY hard for you and probably/possibly scary for your dad. I remember when my Gramma got sick and we had to take Gramma and Grampa to care. Gramma was ill so she wanted to go so she could get well, but Grampa has dementia and fought us. I mean he FOUGHT with us! Once he got there and got a little settled though, he decided he was staying at a hotel and "the ladies brought him room service every day" Even though it wasn't true we decided not to correct him because he was happy...and he lived out the rest of his days not knowing who we were but thinking he was living in a fancy hotel and they were waiting on him, and happy. We thought it would be best to let him be happy, and he'll remember us when we see him again in heaven. It was just a temporary time when his mind didn't remember us, so that's 87 years of being a great dad and grampa, a couple of forgetting, and then an eternity together.

Dear lovely one the stress on you has GOT to be huge, so bear in mind that you can not take care of him if you don't take care of you too. So some EXTRA care of you, dear one. Take a relaxing bubble bath. Take quiet time and sip herbal tea. If you can, take a little nap to start to catch up on your sleep.

Okay sweetie? We love you and G-d is right there with you to help you with this.

 

[Jo1]

awww thanku faithfulwifebless u. Hope your doin ok. Well we did it dad is in respite now. I cant believe how quick this has happened.
The place seemed ok he will have his own room and ensuite shower and there is a lounge where he can watch tv etc. We didnt stay long because he started talking about going. Hes doing ok. I think this was one of the hardest thing Ive had to do. But God has been so good, really.
It will take me a while to re-adjust myself. We will have to look at some care homes now praying he will get in best one.

 

[Jo1]

Been up and down as usual. Real bad day Monday thought I was going to end up in hospital the night before wasnt a lot better.
Im off sick from work now for 2 weeks with depression. I was upset on Monday and nurse told me to go home.
Im just trying to get used to idea dad not living at home anymore.
I mean hes doing well and that, but things are not going to be the same. Its not easy.

 

[FaithfulWife]

 

[Jo1]

Thanks faithfulwife
I had counselling this afternoon. Feeling low now
Doing my self injury not coping thing
I cant even begin to describe how lonely and down I feel right now.
Husbands gone bed early.

 

[Jo1]

Well last night was hard. I ended up sleeping a lot on sofaI felt so disheartend after my counselling session. I dont know how I can change.
Todays not been much better at all. Feeling so down I cried a bit this morning. I managed to get to visit dad in respite. Unfortunately he wasnt having a good day. He was in bed at 11.00am when i got there. When he did get up all he could talk about was me going home. It wasnt his fault. He was just so confused. It made me realise today how he needs more help now. Beginning to look at care homes, praying we can find the best one for him where he will be happy. I just want him to be happy hes had such a hard life.

 

[Ariel]

Dear Jo (((hug))) I am so sorry. I know this has been hard for you.

I am hoping you will rest easier when you have found a good home for your dad. I am praying for you.

 

[Jo1]

Thanx Diana((((hugs)))). Ive been off sick for 2 weeks due back tommorow but im just not ready to go back Im feeling bad again. I have docs appointment tommorow and will have to b signed off for couple more weeks. Just too much going on at the moment

 

[Jo1]

 

[Jo1]

Havent wrote on here for a while.
I went back to work I was off for 5 weeks in total including hols. I was ready to go back though.
Im still tryin to get used to dad being in care home But i guess will take a while.
Still seein my counseller. I have started a positive book.
Been battling with anxiety and fear at times too.