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"a man must provide for the needs of his family" ....but what if you can't?

Discussion in 'Singles (only*)' started by SonicBOOM, Dec 19, 2009.

  1. Sunset2009

    Sunset2009 Guest

    @Crosscheck- Exactly. Especially when the Bible teaches that a woman (who has a family)'s first priority is her husband, children and home. I have done hands-on work, and worked more power tools and lifted more heavy things in a day than your average grown man does in several months (if he has one of those office jobs). I have also taken care of a house and a 2-year old for an entire day. The housework was harder. Mooching? How is a woman taking care of a man's home, and children, MOOCHING?! Wow.

    I can see what you're saying about kids in public school. But I plan to homeschool because I don't want a government system raising my kids.

    Goodbye.
     
    GQ Chris likes this.
  2. Crosscheck

    Crosscheck I declare shenanigans

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    Do you need the money? If you do, then by refusing it you would have been refusing the giver an act of charity. I certainly understand not wanting to feel like we need charity, but most people will require some help at one time or another.
     
  3. trentlogain2

    trentlogain2 New Member

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    Good point. I will keep it just in case something comes up.

    Next question: Would turning around and giving ANY of that money to more needy people be out of line?
     
  4. K9_Trainer

    K9_Trainer Unusually unusual, absolutely unpredictable

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    Women were indeed property.

    Also gotta consider that getting married was necessary for women back then. They couldn't survive on their own.....Not because they were incapable as a person or individual, but because there was nothing for them to do to earn money. A woman trying to live alone and work among men was in severe danger of being raped. A woman was her father's until she got married, and then she became her husband. She was always going to be the responsibility of a man. The whole men working, women staying at home was quite cultural IMO.

    This isn't the case at all today. Women can work now, women can provide for themselves, women are responsible for themselves. If a woman wants to be a SAHM, thats fine, she should be looking for a husband that brings in at least enough income for himself, her and kids. Thats only logical. But for those who don't aspire to be a SAHM, for those that want to work and enjoy working, how well a man can provide financially isn't really much of an issue.

    I was never after a man who can provide financial security or physical security. I can take care of myself and would feel 100% safe alone. I'm after emotional fulfillment. I want somebody to share my life with that I can love and cherish and serve.
     
  5. Crosscheck

    Crosscheck I declare shenanigans

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    Yeah, and the hardest work I've ever done was staying a resort in Jamaica.

    Which is why parents that want to homeschool should have to pass teacher certifications.
     
  6. Sunset2009

    Sunset2009 Guest

    Wow. You need educated.
     
  7. Crosscheck

    Crosscheck I declare shenanigans

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    I don't see any reason why it would be out of line to help someone out if you are in a position to do it. If you and your neighbor were hungry and someone gave you a sandwich would be out of line to split it with your neighbor?
     
  8. trentlogain2

    trentlogain2 New Member

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    Not at all. I just hope that in any case like that I would know I was being led by The Spirit.
     
  9. Crosscheck

    Crosscheck I declare shenanigans

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    I'm curious, do you have a sound grasp of Trigonometry or Calculus? Or even Algebra for that matter? I took trig and calc at the high school and college levels, I certainly don't remember enough from either of those subjects to teach them to anyone else. Let alone someone that never grasped them at all. Sure, there are some highly educated parents that do a much better job with their children's education than a school system can do. However, way too many homeschooled kids are not learning what they need because the parents "wanna kep dat der gubiment out o' my life."
     
  10. caribassett

    caribassett Newbie

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    @ OP,
    Never give up on God or his plans for you, OK? He may have the perfect wife for you in HIS timing.

    As to you concerns, please continue to treat any mental health problems. We would not let our diabetes or other illness go untreated, so please never hesitate to treat your illness :)

    As to the financial aspect, I can not speak for those you have met, but many, many people do not judge a person on money. Many will look at your strength in Faith, your joyful countenance, your compassion.

    God will provide according to his will. The wife can also learn to spend within her budget, no need to have boundless finances.

    Your post seemed sad, and as though you have given up, and I hope that is not so. Have faith, and strength in God, and trust Him to provide, and all will be well in His perfect timing.
     
    K9_Trainer likes this.
  11. LadyL

    LadyL Newbie

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    :clap:
     
  12. ido

    ido Adios

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    That's a great passage. :)


    QFT and beautifully stated, Revived. :)
     
    Revived likes this.
  13. Rocklee

    Rocklee Newbie

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    Someone wants to help you, and you can either accept it to enjoy life a little better by going to posh restaurants, buy expensive toys or you can use it to increase your chances for a better job so that you can pay it back to that person.
     
  14. bluelime2

    bluelime2 Guest

    Actually it isn't. The 1# dealbreaker overall for christian women is men who claim to be better christians then they actually are.

    How about the christian guys who overlook the honest but plainer girls for a better looking wife?

    Trophey seekers attract gold diggers and vice versa. And that isn't necessarily even financially or anything to do with possessions. It can be just as true of perceived success.
     
  15. b.hopeful

    b.hopeful Sharp as a razor, soft as a prayer

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    When I met my husband we were in high school..both working part time jobs at Target for spending cash. I fell in love with a kid....I had no idea how that would play out 20 years later. When I married him he was an E-2 in the military(which means he was poor) and I was a student. I moved to be with him and put school on hold so I could work full time. I joke that if I was a gold digger...I was hunting small game. I was actually on par with his salary for a long time. Then we had a child. Things changed. His love for his family pushed him to do better. My love for my family pushed me to see the bigger picture and be as supportive as I could. My husband got out of the military. We bought our first house when he was making less than 30k. I made every dollar he earned stretch to feel like 5. When he went back to school I took on part time work to make up for the hours he had to scale back. I watched my niece as well as our daughter by day...and on the evenings he didn't have class I worked. He graduated and the family income has increased steadily over the years and the hard work in the beginning has paid off for us. If he lost his job tomorrow...I would work..happily. Whatever my family needs, I'll give it. And it's not a hard thing to swallow when you know that your spouse would do whatever it took to provide as well.

    Did I want a man that would financially support his family on his own? No, I wanted a man that would give 100% of himself to the needs of the family...and would expect the same from me.

    Oh..and ditto Revived and Flnative,lol. They said it beautifully.
     
    ido and lostaquarium like this.
  16. Crosscheck

    Crosscheck I declare shenanigans

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    The good of charity is in giving, not loaning. Loaning is not charity at all.
     
  17. SonicBOOM

    SonicBOOM Guest

    this is defently a problem..... and one that is worth being ticked off about. All I can say is that not all men are like this :)

    here's something that should give the girls hope :) I honestly, truthfully, find the "plainer" girls more attractive in every way.... including, expecaully physically.

    I have found the reason for me personally is that the magazines and all that jazz paint a very unrealistic veiw of a perfect woman.... so I think somewhere deep in my heart I KNOW it's not real. so when I see a "normal" girl.... i'm more attracted to her because she's much more real.... and much more alive. Good and alive men want a living breathing woman. One who can breathe and feel. And i'll be a little bluntly honest here..... when I get married and make love for the first time..... one of the things i'm gonna look forward to the most is knowing that she is feeling the same exact thing I am.
     
  18. mochamajesty

    mochamajesty Newbie

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    Perhaps you have been meeting the wrong Christian women. :)

    *blind post*

    Men are supposed to be the spiritual head of the family, not the breadwinner. That being said, I personally do not want to support a man who is able to work yet refuses to do so.

    That does not sound like you, though. I don't know what your issues are, but if you do what is humanly possible, God can do the rest. I know this for a fact. :)
     
  19. LadyL

    LadyL Newbie

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    ^^^sister was on the mark with this one.
     
  20. lostaquarium

    lostaquarium Quite flawed

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    :clap:
     
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