19-20 year age gap

[christiansoccerplayer]

(Please read this before voting) For context, in this situation the male is 45, almost 46 and the female he is interested in is 26, turning 27 later in the year.

 

[timewerx]

(Please read this before voting) For context, in this situation the male is 45, almost 46 and the female he is interested in is 26, turning 27 later in the year.

Depends on both your financial situation. If a woman might see you as her early retirement, don't pursue.

I'm in a similar predicament. In my forties, a teen of legal age having a crush on me. I kinda like her too because she's unlike the other self-absorbed, excessively entitled kids. She actually reminds me of the friends I had back in high school during the 90's when life was simpler and pop music was often outer-space-themed instead of now that is usually the worship of money, clothes, cars, private jet, and cosmetic surgery.

But I don't think I'll pursue it. I don't even have money for dates, even just the cheap dates!

In my defense, I don't look my age at all. People still mistake me for someone in their 20's and have athletic build.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

I don't look like I'm almost 46.. or so I've been told. Someone told me a few years ago (2020) that she thought I was in my 20s (around 25) and was surprised when I told her I was 42.

 

[DragonFox91]

No I don’t think it’s too big if God has it happen the way. I think many times he has it work that way & it is good that way.

I do think that's a big gap to be be holding out for & rejecting any possibilities b/c they do not meet that gap -> that is wrong, yes.

I voted No.

 

[Soyeong]

(Please read this before voting) For context, in this situation the male is 45, almost 46 and the female he is interested in is 26, turning 27 later in the year.

I have friends who are getting married soon that have approximately that age gap. I think that they both know what they are getting into and can have a successful marriage, though there are still extra hurdles to overcome. For example, even assuming they have a child 1 year after they get married, he's going to be approximately 65 when they graduate high school and even older than that if they have other children. When she is 60, he's going to be almost 80. He's also God forbid more likely to die earlier.

 

[timewerx]

The one problem however if at least one is past the age of 40 is the quality of the offspring. Higher chance of birth defects.

 

[DragonFox91]

In regards to children: you get who God gives you, age makes no difference. Even 'healthy & young' parents are subject to who God gives them. & who's to judge what 'quality' is - It is God who judges & he uses not the standards of man.

 

[sampa]

If they are over 30 as the younger one, not so much. They've gotten past the independent stage. At the same time some mature a lot quicker, like other countries. I have a family member with quiet a bit age difference, but she went into it knowing she would end up being his caretaker and once he passes she is free to marry and start a whole new life.

But I see he always worries when they go to a restaurant that she might find someone better than him. She has to constantly reassure him. She works as a nursing assistant, so her work comes out in her everyday life of looking out for him. She doesn't have plans to stay on this country once he passes, as she misses her family.

 

[Sketcher]

If they are over 30 as the younger one, not so much. They've gotten past the independent stage. At the same time some mature a lot quicker, like other countries. I have a family member with quiet a bit age difference, but she went into it knowing she would end up being his caretaker and once he passes she is free to marry and start a whole new life.

But I see he always worries when they go to a restaurant that she might find someone better than him. She has to constantly reassure him. She works as a nursing assistant, so her work comes out in her everyday life of looking out for him. She doesn't have plans to stay on this country once he passes, as she misses her family.

Do you think he could have avoided that insecurity with an older woman but no other changes to himself or his life?

 

[sampa]

Do you think he could have avoided that insecurity with an older woman but no other changes to himself or his life?

Not sure. He was widowed for many years. He got to know her online for a few years and always had that fear before marrying her that she might just get citizenship and take off. I don't think he had options with an older woman, he took care of his wife for many years and with his age and health he was looking for something more than companionship, a caretaker. It's hard to say though as he's states away and I only see him every couple of years. He's very different and I don't think he's fit with many women. He's a talker too

 

[ReesePiece23]

It'll be workable for a while - but inevitably, you'll end up wanting different things. I don't have an awful lot in common with twenty-somethings now, and I'm only 33. I'll have even less in common with them in ten years time.

That's where the rift will develop.

 

[sampa]

I don't look like I'm almost 46.. or so I've been told. Someone told me a few years ago (2020) that she thought I was in my 20s (around 25) and was surprised when I told her I was 42.

Has any of this feedback helped so far? . Fasting and prayer usually clears you to hear and know what the best choice will be and the holy spirits revelation.

And to add to the discussion, I have a buddy that he's at least a decade younger than his girlfriend of 25 plus years. They aren't saved. He's about 52 years old, but looks much older and I think of her as younger but she has more health complications.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

Has any of this feedback helped so far? . Fasting and prayer usually clears you to hear and know what the best choice will be and the holy spirits revelation.

And to add to the discussion, I have a buddy that he's at least a decade younger than his girlfriend of 25 plus years. They aren't saved. He's about 52 years old, but looks much older and I think of her as younger but she has more health complications.

I appreciate all of the feedback. It has definitely helped. Since most of voting results says "it will depend on the individual if the age difference." so I have decided to take my shot... Just not sure when and or how to ask her since I hardly see her.