10 Simple Ways To Get Your Wife To Have Sex With You

[Yoder777]

Cheating on your spouse is completely stupid. Not only is it the ultimate betrayal, but it's not worth the effort, having to hide it from your wife while leading some other woman to believe that you're really interested in her for more than just a good time. In sales, they say it takes more effort to attract a new customer than to retain an old one. If you know how to teat your wife, you'll get adequate sex without having to be a cheating pig.

Sex Tips For Your Marriage - AskMen

This is an article written by a woman saying things that any considerate, caring husband should know. Adultery is all too common in our society, even in men who are supposed to be religious leaders. There is a better way and it's called being a better husband.

 

[Thunder Peel]

Nothing says mutual love and respect like doing things to for each other not out of love but because you want something. Classy.

 

[Yoder777]

Nothing says mutual love and respect like doing things to for each other not out of love but because you want something. Classy.

Something I learned the hard way in my marriage is that a woman needs to have her emotional needs tended to before she will be interested in sex, especially if she's been taking care of kids all day.

 

[RDKirk]

Nothing says mutual love and respect like doing things to for each other not out of love but because you want something. Classy.

Is it healthy to love someone when you're not getting anything in return?

 

[Yoder777]

I honestly posted the article just to help men in sexless marriages figure out what they can do differently, while making their wives happier in the process.

 

[RDKirk]

I honestly posted the article just to help men in sexless marriages figure out what they can do differently, while making their wives happier in the process.

If we are to believe the article, it was written by a woman...ostensibly to help women get what they want from their men by telling men what makes a woman want to respond sexually.

My current understanding--and this is from over fifty years of trying to puzzle it out--is that a psychologically healthy and mature woman responds sexually to a man consistently when she is "into" that man across the spectrum of the relationship.

 

[Thunder Peel]

Is it healthy to love someone when you're not getting anything in return?

I think mutual love and respect go a long way. However, if you're only complimenting your wife or helping around the house because you want something then your motives aren't exactly pure.

I'm also tired of the idea that men only think about sex and are so desperate for it that they have to either jump through hoops or somehow manipulate their wives to get it. I obviously can't speak for all men but sex isn't the top priority in my life and I certainly don't do things for my wife with the expectation that she'll do something for me in return. I strive to love her as Christ loves the church, not as someone who expects something every time I do something that pleases her.

 

[Yoder777]

I think there's a difference between manipulating your wife and learning what things you should be doing anyway.

 

[Steve Petersen]

I honestly posted the article just to help men in sexless marriages figure out what they can do differently, while making their wives happier in the process.

Yeah, it's always the men that need to change, ain't it!

 

[Thunder Peel]

I think there's a difference between manipulating your wife and learning what things you should be doing anyway.

Some of us are doing those things anyway. It's called being a loving and responsible spouse.

 

[RDKirk]

I think mutual love and respect go a long way. However, if you're only complimenting your wife or helping around the house because you want something then your motives aren't exactly pure.

I'm also tired of the idea that men only think about sex and are so desperate for it that they have to either jump through hoops or somehow manipulate their wives to get it. I obviously can't speak for all men but sex isn't the top priority in my life and I certainly don't do things for my wife with the expectation that she'll do something for me in return. I strive to love her as Christ loves the church, not as someone who expects something every time I do something that pleases her.

You're overreacting to the headline.

My son noted about 30 years ago that all of my bodybuilding magazines had the word "sex" on the cover. And, yes, he was right--something I hadn't even noticed myself. It was all about bodybuilding--none of them had any articles about sex. But yet, every cover managed to find a way to get "sex" on there.

It's the hype of the day. The article was really all about what things make a woman feel good.

 

[mkgal1]

Nothing says mutual love and respect like doing things to for each other not out of love but because you want something. Classy.

I agree with this.

The thing is....the whole message doesn't seem to be directed towards healing something....or bringing the couple together, it's all based on "how to get sex from your wife". If you were to substitute that with *anything* else.....it's the definition of manipulation (which isn't mutual love and respect....like this post is pointing out). Sex is only one aspect of love.....why zero in on just that (other than getting men to believe there's a easy recipe to get what's wanted)?

 

[mkgal1]

You're overreacting to the headline.

My son noted about 30 years ago that all of my bodybuilding magazines had the word "sex" on the cover. And, yes, he was right--something I hadn't even noticed myself. It was all about bodybuilding--none of them had any articles about sex. But yet, every cover managed to find a way to get "sex" on there.

It's the hype of the day. The article was really all about what things make a woman feel good.

Personally.....I don't believe he *is* overreacting to the headline. I think he's spot on, actually. This article doesn't seem to me like it's just trying to use "sex sells".....it's directly about that (ISTM). And your body building mags? Just b/c the articles didn't state things blatantly about sex doesn't mean there's not subtle nuances there either. That presumption that men are all about sex (which also implies that there's not much more substance to them as well) doesn't give you all much credit. Also....(not to offend the OP) the idea that men need to be coached in ways to "get their wives to have sex with them" doesn't speak too highly. Neither does this: "Women really do want to have sex — great sex— but the men in their lives can act like such babies at times" You don't find that offensive?

IMO....this article would be better received if it were coming from the point of "how to have a difficult conversation" or something like that.

The main issue I have is what Thunder is alluding to.....it ends up being more about manipulation when it's framed like this. It's more like a checklist rather than something that's internally motivated ("I started being more positive (check); I stopped calling her names when we fight (check); I took out the trash and cleaned the dishes (check); I've been giving her a hug each night (check)....etc....she *still* isn't giving me sex"). I don't think that anything can substitute for having a good heart-to-heart conversation. Also.....if there were a lack of attention over the years---I doubt that just changing behavior would help (that's avoiding any apology or acknowledgment...sort of just sweeping it all under the rug as if there's not a wake of destruction left behind).

Maybe it's just me (or maybe I've gotten cynical with my age).....but when someone suddenly changes behavior (assuming that's what a person would do after reading this article---one that hasn't been doing these things and is the intended audience) it makes me suspicious (not all romantic and swooning). Her advice about groping is good, however.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Cheating on your spouse is completely stupid. Not only is it the ultimate betrayal, but it's not worth the effort, having to hide it from your wife while leading some other woman to believe that you're really interested in her for more than just a good time. In sales, they say it takes more effort to attract a new customer than to retain an old one. If you know how to teat your wife, you'll get adequate sex without having to be a cheating pig.

Sex Tips For Your Marriage - AskMen

This is an article written by a woman saying things that any considerate, caring husband should know. Adultery is all too common in our society, even in men who are supposed to be religious leaders. There is a better way and it's called being a better husband.

If a guy has to work for something that should be freely given, something is dreadfully wrong.

Before they married my friend told his second wife that if she stopped having sex with him he would divorce her. He hasn't had that problem yet.

 

[Yoder777]

If a guy has to work for something that should be freely given, something is dreadfully wrong.

Before they married my friend told his second wife that if she stopped having sex with him he would divorce her. He hasn't had that problem yet.

What if your friend turned out to be abusive or neglectful of his wife?

 

[Yoder777]

The article was really all about what things make a woman feel good.

Exactly.

 

[mkgal1]

The article was really all about what things make a woman feel good.

I happen to be a woman....and if my husband and I were in a sexless marriage due to relational ignorance, and he responded to an article like this by simply reversing all that this article is about (hypothetically---that he was behaving exactly in opposition to all that was written and then followed this checklist).....I wouldn't be "feeling good". It dismisses what's gone on prior to any change (IMO).

 

[mkgal1]

What if your friend turned out to be abusive or neglectful of his wife?

Sounds like the marriage began that way (abusive/coercive).

 

[RDKirk]

Personally.....I don't believe he *is* overreacting to the headline. I think he's spot on, actually. This article doesn't seem to me like it's just trying to use "sex sells".....it's directly about that (ISTM). And your body building mags? Just b/c the articles didn't state things blatantly about sex doesn't mean there's not subtle nuances there either. That presumption that men are all about sex (which also implies that there's not much more substance to them as well) doesn't give you all much credit. Also....(not to offend the OP) the idea that men need to be coached in ways to "get their wives to have sex with them" doesn't speak too highly. Neither does this: "Women really do want to have sex — great sex— but the men in their lives can act like such babies at times" You don't find that offensive?.

Ummm. No. Mostly because that's mostly true.

Women drive through life with a dashboard covered with all kinds of guages and dials by which they keep track of all the ebbs and flows of their relationships. When any gauge begins to deflect, they instantly note it and react to put it back to the correct setting

Men drive through life with a dashboard that has one idiot light. When the idiot light comes on, we tap it and wonder if it means something is wrong.

 

[mkgal1]

Ummm. No. Mostly because that's mostly true.

Women drive through life with a dashboard covered with all kinds of guages and dials by which they keep track of all the ebbs and flows of their relationships. When any gauge begins to deflect, they instantly note it and react to put it back to the correct setting

Men drive through life with a dashboard that has one idiot light. When the idiot light comes on, we tap it and wonder if it means something is wrong.

Ah....yes, I recognize this very well (I've heard it from a lot of pulpits). It seems to come from a certain brand of Christianity (because I don't hear it from the liturgical churches). The thing is.....I'm not really buying it (I've known plenty of males that aren't that ignorant when it comes to relationships). I also have known plenty of females that *are* ignorant when it comes to relationships.

Do you like being portrayed like that?