10 Simple Ways To Get Your Wife To Have Sex With You

[Avniel]

I agree that's an accurate term in answer to my question (or coercion--depending on the circumstance)...but I think Avniel may have been making a bit of a different point (after I thought about what he'd written). I *think* he's suggesting that women are basically expecting men to "jump through hoops" for sex.....and he (Avniel) considers that "emasculating" and men ought to not go along with that (instead---"just be yourself and if she doesn't like that...oh well"). I'm not sure that's the recipe for a successful marriage....

By "emasculated"....do you mean that men are being manipulated for sex? What's the phrase when women are manipulated for sex, I wonder?

No I do not mean manipulated for sex I mean begging for sex like a little puppy that see's a new neighbor you've invited over. If a man is begging his wife for sex every night he's a super punk and needs to do something to change his outlook on himself. Now before everyone says I am trying to encourage rape by calling him a super punk, he's a super punk because he doesn't see enough in himself not to beg for sex.

The reality is constantly being turned down and begging for sex is not conducive for a successful marriage. This way at least the man has his self respect. I think that women enjoy the power that controlling sex gives them, once you love yourself enough to not beg someone for sex it removes the bitterness and it changes the dynamics.

I believe men are taught that sex has to be so important to them. While it is important, as men in a society that women will use sex as a tool I say if you're unhappy with how you get turned down........................stop asking all together, stop wanting to have sex with her, change your thought process, work out, take cold showers, but dont beg a woman that doesn't want to sleep with you.


Men in america will do anything for a woman, they will change their entire personality for their wives only to be rejected time and time again. I think marriage is a disadvantage for men in america.....just be yourself, she doesn't want you hey that's life take a cold shower and move to the next hurdle in life it will be much smoother.

That's the opposite of coercion I think.............totally the opposite. There is no tricks, there is no hidden agenda, there is no power struggle........it's about people respecting themselves and loving themselves enough not to beg.

Men that beg for sex dont have sex.

 

[Dave-W]

I believe men are taught that sex has to be so important to them.

No - the need is hormonal. It is not "taught."

stop asking all together, stop wanting to have sex with her, change your thought process, work out, take cold showers, but dont beg a woman that doesn't want to sleep with you.

That makes as much sense as "stop asking to breathe altogether, stop wanting to eat......"

Men in america will do anything for a woman, they will change their entire personality for their wives only to be rejected time and time again.......

There is no tricks, there is no hidden agenda, there is no power struggle........it's about people respecting themselves and loving themselves enough not to beg.

Men that beg for sex dont have sex.

According to 1 Cor 7, husbands have authority over the body of the wife and the wife has authority over the husband's body. The first part I will pass over as it is not germaine to this answer. But the 2nd part - the wife having authority - is germaine. She can biblically deny him permission to have any kind of sexual release at all and it becomes sinful to even have a wet dream. (of course her doing that is a violation of the scripture that says to not deny each other, but again that is not germaine)

So I would like to ask you what you suggest for a man to NOT VIOLATE scripture who is being constantly denied?

 

[Avniel]

No - the need is hormonal. It is not "taught."



That makes as much sense as "stop asking to breathe altogether, stop wanting to eat......"



According to 1 Cor 7, husbands have authority over the body of the wife and the wife has authority over the husband's body. The first part I will pass over as it is not germaine to this answer. But the 2nd part - the wife having authority - is germaine. She can biblically deny him permission to have any kind of sexual release at all and it becomes sinful to even have a wet dream. (of course her doing that is a violation of the scripture that says to not deny each other, but again that is not germaine)

So I would like to ask you what you suggest for a man to NOT VIOLATE scripture who is being constantly denied?

No where in the bible does it say a man has to beg a spouse for sex. That's not biblical and it is sinful, however God gives us all free will and there is nothing a man can do outside of pray to fix that. However one should not become accustomed to being rejected by their spouse that builds resentment.

Not violate scriptures....let me say it again, stop asking for sex, stop trying to beg for affection......if she offers be a Christian man and don't do the tit for tat but don't continue to beg someone that's getting a power kick off of it. That's not scripture God doesn't want that.

Find me a scripture where it says don't ask.


If my wife is turning me down left and right I'm not going want to have sex. I respect myself that's all I'm sayinf

 

[Dave-W]

If my wife is turning me down left and right I'm not going want to have sex. I respect myself that's all I'm sayinf

And your body is screaming for release? You can just turn that off?

 

[Avniel]

And your body is screaming for release? You can just turn that off?

I'm a grown man with self control yeah I can turn it off

 

[Dave-W]

Can you also turn off your need of food or water?

 

[Avniel]

Can you also turn off your need of food or water?

When my daughter or some one in my family needs food and water sure.

 

[Avniel]

My need to respect myself out weighs my need to have sex. My daughter needs out weigh my own with the food and water. I'm not going to lower myself to begging anyone for anything BUT GOD.

 

[Dave-W]

When my daughter or some one in my family needs food and water sure.

So you can just turn it off and go for months without?

Sounds like anorexia to me.

 

[Dave-W]

My need to respect myself out weighs my need to have sex. My daughter needs out weigh my own with the food and water. I'm not going to lower myself to begging anyone for anything BUT GOD.

OK, fair enough.

How do you define "begging?"

For me that is even accidently letting someone know I want something.

 

[Avniel]

So you can just turn it off and go for months without?

Sounds like anorexia to me.

Sounds like someone that loves his family. I am a grown man if I can't sacrifice myself for my family what good am I? See I don't consider myself an individual but part of a community me as a husband and a father mean more to me than me as an individual.

That's how I was raised if my daughter is in need I have enough self control to put her first.

I'm not one of those sex crazed guys. When I was kid I was taught "women come like bus you don't like the way it drive next bus ah come." I'm not going to disrespect myself for sexual release and it's not because I don't enjoy sex it's because I enjoy me way more than sex.

 

[Dave-W]

Perhaps we are talking across points here. I am talking about when it goes on for month after month after month with no end in sight; and she has specificly FORBIDDEN you to have any other means of relief.

Yes I get the point of your family coming first but that is more of a temporary situation - unless you are in absolutely dire circumstance.

I am talking when the bus route isn't going here any more.

 

[Avniel]

OK, fair enough.

How do you define "begging?"

For me that is even accidently letting someone know I want something.

Sometimes it can be when you're dealing with a person that doesn't love or respect you enough to value what you deem as needs(for the petty). Making the mistake of telling them you want something makes you look weak in their eyes.

 

[Dave-W]

"" ... makes you look weak in their eyes. ""

I could not care less how I look in anyone else's eyes.

Keeping up appearances to me is nothing but sinful pride.

 

[Avniel]

Perhaps we are talking across points here. I am talking about when it goes on for month after month after month with no end in sight; and she has specificly FORBIDDEN you to have any other means of relief.

Yes I get the point of your family coming first but that is more of a temporary situation - unless you are in absolutely dire circumstance.

I am talking when the bus route isn't going here any more.

In that situation put you first. How can someone tell you what to do with your body and they won't give you of theirs that's immoral. I would be very clear what would be going on and even ask for privacy....how can you morally even have a stance? Absurd.

Still I would refuse to ask for affection, examine her actions, question her more regarding her activities.

I wouldn't want to have sex with someone that doesn't want to have sex with me. That would gross me out......that's begging.

 

[Avniel]

"" ... makes you look weak in their eyes. ""

I could not care less how I look in anyone else's eyes.

Keeping up appearances to me is nothing but sinful pride.

You should care about how you look to the woman that you're trying to sleep with. What do you think she's going to just jump in the bed because you're ready?

 

[Messy]

Perhaps we are talking across points here. I am talking about when it goes on for month after month after month with no end in sight; and she has specificly FORBIDDEN you to have any other means of relief.

Yes I get the point of your family coming first but that is more of a temporary situation - unless you are in absolutely dire circumstance.

I am talking when the bus route isn't going here any more.

Then go to a marriage week in Baton Rouge. The woman there that taught the women about sex said: Never say no and I got healed from the effects of abuse when se prayed.

 

[Dave-W]

In that situation put you first.

Putting yourself first in anything is the sin of selfishness.

How can someone tell you what to do with your body and they won't give you of theirs that's immoral.

Not necessarily. They have the scriptural authority to do so. That makes it moral.

I would be very clear what would be going on and even ask for privacy....how can you morally even have a stance? Absurd.

Maintaining the marriage covenant comes first. That means that no matter what the other person does - you love her as christ loved the church - dieing for us when we were all ungodly.

So she says she will leave and divorce you if you are not man enough to bear with it. You bear with it no matter what.

 

[Dave-W]

Then go to a marriage week in Baton Rouge. The woman there that taught the women about sex said: Never say no and I got healed from the effects of abuse when se prayed.

She has been prayed for and a lot of counseling. Abuse issues and flashbacks from early child hood are almost impossible to erase. And she considers each of those flashbacks to be the same as watching inappropriate content.

 

[Avniel]

She has been prayed for and a lot of counseling. Abuse issues and flashbacks from early child hood are almost impossible to erase. And she considers each of those flashbacks to be the same as watching inappropriate content.

That's a bit different situation