I have kissed dating goodbye!

MiniEmu · Jul 6, 2015

historyincognito said:
I feel my rules and what I want in a woman would be to hard on a. woman. One rule among many is no kissing until our engagement this is because I want to say pure. I have kissed dating goodbye and put the need for dating to bed.

Now I am curious as to how this works with your other rules. Would I know more of the sort of rules your dating life would be governed by if I were to read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, or is it all a delightful coincidence?

GQ Chris said:
I beg your pardon, but what the hell is a "twee"?

Sweet/sentimental/quaint to the point of being excessive.

Al T · Jul 6, 2015

Wow..... I am sort of lost of words. I respect you if you can do it. I have heard of this before - one of the three levels of no sex before marriage.

I couldn't do it i.e. No kissing. However for me, and whilst I hear your comments, I don't think kissing a lady is stopping you from being pure. Still each to their own.

Agree with the chivalry piece though. Opening doors etc is just the thing to do.

Gnarwhal · Jul 6, 2015

blackribbon · Jul 6, 2015

historyincognito said:
And besides all the good Christian girls are already taken.

REALLY? you post this on a Christian singles forum? ALL the good Christian girls are taken...so what does that make the "girls" on this site? not good? a waste of time?

KandiJo · Jul 6, 2015

I actually agree with this now. The whole waiting for marriage thing.

Actually it was common until the past century or so. People made it work then, yet now half of marriages end in divorce. Lol.

Anyways. I wish I could say I felt this way my whole life, but I did not. Oh well. I do agree though, it is nearly impossible to find a guy who thinks the same, which is why I have to keep putting dating behind me. God will either bring me someone, or not. xD

Tess · Jul 6, 2015

I honestly mean no offence when I say this, and I'm not aiming it at anyone, but when people say they want to wait until they're married to even kiss... I've got to be honest, in my opinion that's really weird.

KandiJo · Jul 6, 2015

_Tess_ said:
I honestly mean no offence when I say this, and I'm not aiming it at anyone, but when people say they want to wait until they're married to even kiss... I've got to be honest, in my opinion that's really weird.

It's only weird when you use the culture perspective we live in right now. The thing is, there are many benefits for not kissing.

A lot of people use the arguement that you have to see if you have chemistry before marriage. You can know that without kissing. You build a bond that is not dependent on physical attraction, and that becomes stronger than physical attraction.

LoveDivine · Jul 6, 2015

KandiJo said:
It's only weird when you use the culture perspective we live in right now. The thing is, there are many benefits for not kissing.

A lot of people use the arguement that you have to see if you have chemistry before marriage. You can know that without kissing. You build a bond that is not dependent on physical attraction, and that becomes stronger than physical attraction.

Agreed. I totally respect all the guys who try to practice this.

Elliewaves · Jul 6, 2015

Maybe you just kissed kissing goodbye. Well, before marriage. Dating doesn't mean kissing non stop.

historyincognito · Jul 6, 2015

No I have never heard of that book. Yet seriously, I am one who will not get into a relationship with a woman without Christ being the center of it. I would post the rules on here but it would not be a wise move for me.

Messy · Jul 6, 2015

_Tess_ said:
I honestly mean no offence when I say this, and I'm not aiming it at anyone, but when people say they want to wait until they're married to even kiss... I've got to be honest, in my opinion that's really weird.

I thought that was very weird too before I started dating, but it's tempting. A preacher said he and his wife couldn't even hold hands. Depends on the persons.
I wouldn't want to meet alone at my or his place when I date someone. They always try more and then I can say no, better say no to meeting alone or not date at all, much easier.

EazyMack · Jul 6, 2015

GQ Chris said:
I beg your pardon, but what the hell is a "twee"?

Haha, I had to look it up, too.

EazyMack · Jul 6, 2015

_Tess_ said:
I've got to be honest, in my opinion that's really weird.

It most certainly is!

Also, it's weird for a man to not have had 20 sexual partners before deciding which one he has the right chemistry with.

Faithfulandtrue · Jul 6, 2015

I wish there were men like you (gentlemen) where I live.

Don t give up hope. I wish I could have a gentleman marry me someday. One of my old friends thought I was weird when I said I wanted to wait to give my first kiss to the man I am sure I wanted to marry. I still think that is very romantic and finding a pure man is actually very attractive to me.

So if I think that way there surely must be more women like me somewhere for you.

Faithfulandtrue · Jul 6, 2015

historyincognito said:
And besides all the good Christian girls in my life are already taken.

Im not

lol

Faithfulandtrue · Jul 6, 2015

Messy said:
I thought that was very weird too before I started dating, but it's tempting. A preacher said he and his wife couldn't even hold hands. Depends on the persons.
I wouldn't want to meet alone at my or his place when I date someone. They always try more and then I can say no, better say no to meeting alone or not date at all, much easier.

Not holding hands would be weird to me and very hard not to when I start dating. I have met a guy (just a friends friend)who didn't want to be hugged by a girl he wasn't dating which I guess I understand if he is tempted by that but I went in for a hug and he went for a hand shake and I felt really embarrassed and awkward LOL.

Al T · Jul 6, 2015

KandiJo said:
It's only weird when you use the culture perspective we live in right now. The thing is, there are many benefits for not kissing.

Perhaps I'm missing something here? I understand about building intellectual, emotional, and spiritual bonds. However....if I had a girlfriend who I didn't kiss / want to kiss, then surely that means I have just found a friend who can double as my sister?

I also don't buy the idea of cultural standards pushing the idea of kissing. It's about chemistry. It is about the fact you want to kiss them.

I just don't see a biblical perspective that suggests otherwise either. However, I am open to hear everyone's thoughts on this....but right now I have heard nothing from anyone that justifies that position beyond extended guilt.

Messy · Jul 6, 2015

Faithfulandtrue said:
but I went in for a hug and he went for a hand shake and I felt really embarrassed and awkward LOL.

Hahahahahahaha

MiniEmu · Jul 6, 2015

historyincognito said:
No I have never heard of that book. Yet seriously, I am one who will not get into a relationship with a woman without Christ being the center of it. I would post the rules on here but it would not be a wise move for me.

You are probably wise not to reveal the rules you have for the start of a relationship. I am too curious and should know better than to publicly ask such things. To have set ideas and rules is probably a good way of starting as you mean to go on.

=======================

Regarding kissing: kissing, at least romantically, is thought by some to be a learned behaviour rather than an innate one. There are cultures who never kissed before being exposed to it, and there are still cultures who regard kissing as a very strange behaviour to take part in.

The history of kissing is fascinating.

Messy · Jul 6, 2015

Al T said:
Perhaps I'm missing something here? I understand about building intellectual, emotional, and spiritual bonds. However....if I had a girlfriend who I didn't kiss / want to kiss, then surely that means I have just found a friend who can double as my sister?

I also don't buy the idea of cultural standards pushing the idea of kissing. It's about chemistry. It is about the fact you want to kiss them.

I just don't see a biblical perspective that suggests otherwise either. However, I am open to hear everyone's thoughts on this....but right now I have heard nothing from anyone that justifies that position beyond extended guilt.

If you can do that good for you.
I never met a guy who could.

I have kissed dating goodbye!

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