I want to go to Heaven soon

[Christfollower7]

How often do you read your Bible?

How often do you go to church?

 

[DavidTheGnome]

How often do you read your Bible?

How often do you go to church?

I read at least 2 chapters each day, and I go to church every Sunday.

 

[DavidTheGnome]

I'm seeing a therapist now. Did my first session with him at noon today.

 

[Christfollower7]

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorder? Are you taking any medications?

 

[DavidTheGnome]

Attention Deficit Disorder, Anxiety, Depression. Was never officially diagnosed with OCD, but I am obsessive compulsive.
Not taking any medications currently. I grew up taking ADD medication, but I've been off of it for more than a decade. A doctor once tried an anti-anxiety pill on me when I was in college, but all it did was physically depress me.

 

[DavidTheGnome]

My life has gotten even worse. God seems to punish me for even the slightest mistakes I make nowadays, especially if I don't do penance for them, or if the penance I do isn't extreme enough to satisfy Him. I recently drew a picture of Jesus walking with a smile on his face, and I ended up having to deodorize my right tires. I'm afraid to do my favorite hobbies (bicycling, writing, drawing, hiking, kayaking, listening to music I like), eat my favorite foods (crab, lobster, ribeye steak, spaghetti with ground Italian sausage mixed into Prego fresh mushroom spaghetti sauce, Mexican soft tacos), wear my favorite clothes, or take a vacation. God seems to not want me to be happy. I eat very little variety, and I'm starting to get tired of the stuff I routinely eat, but I'm too afraid to eat better foods.
I might have to take down my art studio and repurpose that room, being that I apparently can't draw anymore.
I'm keeping the bicycle even if I don't ride it ever again. My dad bought it for me for Christmas years ago.
I ask God why he doesn't kill me, and it feels like he answers, "That would be too humane."

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

please, you have to know God doesn't actually think this way?

The Bible says "He is patient, not wanting anyone to perish..." so He wants good for us "Everything good comes from God"

 

[CoreyD]

I used to enjoy life until recently. Now I live in constant fear, stress, anxiety, and depression. I pray to God to take it away and to restore my ability to enjoy life.
My parents and a lot of other loved ones have died, things in my life keep going wrong, and I feel obligated by God to give up a lot of things I enjoy doing.
I'm tired of it all. Now I keep hoping I'll die and go to Heaven soon even though I'm 39 years old.
I know suicide isn't the way to go. I'm afraid of what God might do to me if I did that, and there are friends and relatives who would be devastated.
My cat is my only reason to live. She's 17 and has special medical needs. I'm afraid that if I precede her in death, she might not get the care she needs. I just hope my time comes very soon after hers.
I accept Christ as my lord and savior, and hope I'm on the book of life.

Hi David.
I'm sorry that you are at a point where life seems so meaningless and purposeless.
You are not alone. As Satan's world drags on, many persons are finding it hard to cope with life's problems, and their own personal challenges.
It can be really rough.
What tends to make it worst, is when people do not understand what you are going through, and may seem not to care.

That may be what you need - friends that show they care.
Of course, there can be no greater friend than God, and his Christ.
On man that knew this quite well, was King David.
If there is anyone we can draw strength from their example, in relation to facing great distress, David would be that man.
Of course, Jesus is the greatest example, and we also can think of others, like Job, Elijah, etc.
The Psalms though, are more abundant, and in these, we read about what David went through, and what helped him.

So, perhaps what might help you, is taking the time each day, to read and meditate on the Psalms.
Reading two or three Chapters a day, may give you the comfort, hope, and confidence you need to face life's challenges with a more positive outlook.
David wrote, for example:
Psalm 37

1 Do not fret because of evildoers, Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity.
2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, And wither as the green herb.​

3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.​

5 Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.​

7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret - it only causes harm.​

9 For evildoers shall be cut off; But those who wait on the Lord, They shall inherit the earth.
10 For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more; Indeed, you will look carefully for his place, But it shall be no more.
11 But the meek shall inherit the earth, And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.​

25 I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread.​

29 The righteous shall inherit the land, And dwell in it forever.​

34 Wait on the Lord, And keep His way, And He shall exalt you to inherit the land; When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.​

David, a man who was surrounded by the wicked, and knew their M.O., looked forward to the time when the wicked would be effaced from the earth, and the righteous would then live on the earth in "the abundance of peace".
Can you see that in your mind?
An earth free of the wicked, so that when you look around, there are no wicked neighbors - only righteous, and all suffering is gone (Revelation 21:3-5)?

There are many more Psalms that deal with every problem we can think of, but there are too many to mention here, and I do not know what specific challenges you face.
However, i recommend a study of the Psalms as a starting point to acquiring the comfort from the scriptures, which gives hope. Romans 15:4-6

4 For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. 5 Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, 6 that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.​

 

[CoreyD]

My life has gotten even worse. God seems to punish me for even the slightest mistakes I make nowadays, especially if I don't do penance for them, or if the penance I do isn't extreme enough to satisfy Him. I recently drew a picture of Jesus walking with a smile on his face, and I ended up having to deodorize my right tires. I'm afraid to do my favorite hobbies (bicycling, writing, drawing, hiking, kayaking, listening to music I like), eat my favorite foods (crab, lobster, ribeye steak, spaghetti with ground Italian sausage mixed into Prego fresh mushroom spaghetti sauce, Mexican soft tacos), wear my favorite clothes, or take a vacation. God seems to not want me to be happy. I eat very little variety, and I'm starting to get tired of the stuff I routinely eat, but I'm too afraid to eat better foods.
I might have to take down my art studio and repurpose that room, being that I apparently can't draw anymore.
I'm keeping the bicycle even if I don't ride it ever again. My dad bought it for me for Christmas years ago.
I ask God why he doesn't kill me, and it feels like he answers, "That would be too humane."

It sound like you need to take to heart the words Jesus offered in prayer to his father, at John 17:3.
Without these, our life will indeed be meaningless. Religious doctrines has made certain that is the case for most.
God's will for you, as stated at 1 Timothy 2:3, 4, can set that right, if you do decide to accept it.

 

[CoreyD]

My life is not getting any better. Stuff is still going wrong, my cat has been diagnosed with kidney failure, and I keep having to take my cars to the wash to get urine odor off the tires, and I don't even know how the tires are getting that. I keep having unwanted and intrusive thoughts of the Devil pestering me to make bets and deals with him, to which I keep saying no. I keep asking God to banish him and all other evil spirits, to prevent them from doing anything to me or to anything I care about, to rid me of these unwanted intrusive thoughts, to keep my cars odorless, and to forgive me and not punish me all in the name of Jesus, but the torments continue. It's really taking a toll on me mentally and emotionally. I must have profoundly offended God at some point.

Can I ask...
Do you at times about things you have done in the past?
Do you feel guilty about some things you are doing now?

The scripture at 1 John 3:20, which says, Even if our hearts condemn us [Even if we feel guilty (NLT)], God is greater than our hearts, and He knows all things.
The heart can condemn us - having a guilty conscience, can make us mistakenly believe that God is against us, and condemning us.

 

[CoreyD]

I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't write, draw, bicycle, hike, or kayak, for fear of God punishing me for them. Some dead animals on the roads caused me to relapse into my tire smelling habit. And just this morning, I had to rush the car to the wash immediately after arriving at church because one of its tires smelled like an ashtray. And I've been begging God over and over again to have mercy on me and not punish me. Nowadays I'm always begging God to kill me now and take me to Heaven.

If God kills you, you won't go to heaven, so if you want to go to heaven, begging God to kill you won't get you there.
If you believe you are so bad that God is making your life miserable, why do you think God will want you in heaven?
Isn't it only the righteous who keep following and sticking to the lamb, who go to heaven? Revelation 14:4; Luke 22:28-30

Because of the misleading doctrines of religion, some think of heaven as an "escape pod" from the earth, but this is an unscriptural view.
They also see the earth as a "hell", but God gave the earth to man Psalm 115:16, and ...formed the earth and made it, Who has established it, Who did not create it in vain, Who formed it to be inhabited:
Isaiah 45:18

Please see Will This Planet be Destroyed?

 

[DavidTheGnome]

Can I ask...
Do you at times about things you have done in the past?
Do you feel guilty about some things you are doing now?

The scripture at 1 John 3:20, which says, Even if our hearts condemn us [Even if we feel guilty (NLT)], God is greater than our hearts, and He knows all things.
The heart can condemn us - having a guilty conscience, can make us mistakenly believe that God is against us, and condemning us.

I have hurt people in multiple ways, especially while growing up. I'm 40 now, and those things still haunt me.
As for what I'm doing now, I feel like I'm trying to have a peaceful happy life, but God won't let me.
Also, I feel like an example of what Psalm 37 1-2 talks about.

 

[CoreyD]

I have hurt people in multiple ways, especially while growing up. I'm 40 now, and those things still haunt me.
As for what I'm doing now, I feel like I'm trying to have a peaceful happy life, but God won't let me.
Also, I feel like an example of what Psalm 37 1-2 talks about.

Thanks for sharing that.
I thought a guilty conscience might be tormenting you.
Have you given any thought to what I said here?

 

[DavidTheGnome]

Thanks for sharing that.
I thought a guilty conscience might be tormenting you.
Have you given any thought to what I said here?

I do accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, but I feel like an example of Matthew 7:21, Matthew 12:43-45, Matthew 18:6, Hebrews 6:4-6, 2 Peter 2:1 CEV.
And I feel like I have an experiential overlap with the Israelites who lost their Promised Land privileges, but it's my favorite hobbies privileges I seem to have lost.

 

[ilovejcsog#1]

My life has gotten even worse. God seems to punish me for even the slightest mistakes I make nowadays, especially if I don't do penance for them, or if the penance I do isn't extreme enough to satisfy Him. I recently drew a picture of Jesus walking with a smile on his face, and I ended up having to deodorize my right tires. I'm afraid to do my favorite hobbies (bicycling, writing, drawing, hiking, kayaking, listening to music I like), eat my favorite foods (crab, lobster, ribeye steak, spaghetti with ground Italian sausage mixed into Prego fresh mushroom spaghetti sauce, Mexican soft tacos), wear my favorite clothes, or take a vacation. God seems to not want me to be happy. I eat very little variety, and I'm starting to get tired of the stuff I routinely eat, but I'm too afraid to eat better foods.
I might have to take down my art studio and repurpose that room, being that I apparently can't draw anymore.
I'm keeping the bicycle even if I don't ride it ever again. My dad bought it for me for Christmas years ago.
I ask God why he doesn't kill me, and it feels like he answers, "That would be too humane."

I don't understand, i can't see anything in your eating or activities that God would punish you for. My life is like yours with the exception of your activities and i don't feel condemned. Maybe you should try to think the opposite of what you are thinking about God and stop thinking bad things about yourself. I know God loves you!
God bless you and give you peace.

 

[AlexB23]

@DavidTheGnome , here is a Bible study that might help.

Date​	May 6, 2024​
Verse​	Psalm 77:1-15 (NIV): "I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted. I remembered you, God, and I groaned; I meditated, and my spirit grew faint. You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night. My heart meditated and my spirit asked: ‘Will the Lord reject forever? Will He never show his favor again? Has His unfailing love vanished forever? Has His promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has He in anger withheld His compassion?’ Then I thought, ‘To this I will appeal: the years when the Most High stretched out His right hand. I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.’ Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph."​
Explanation​	Psalm 77:1-15 is a prayer of lament and reflection from someone who is experiencing deep distress and anxiety. The psalmist cries out to God for help and comfort, expressing feelings of despair and forgetfulness of God's past faithfulness. The psalmist questions if God has rejected or forgotten his people, but then remembers God's past miracles and mighty deeds, which renews their faith and hope.​ This passage can be particularly relevant to someone who is going through a rough spot in their life, dealing with anxiety or PTSD, as they may feel overwhelmed, forgotten, and uncertain about the future. The psalmist's honest expression of their struggles and doubts can provide a sense of validation and understanding, while their trust in God's past faithfulness and power to redeem can offer hope and encouragement. Regarding the analogy of being dealt bad cards in a game of twenty-one, we can think of life's challenges as the unexpected and difficult cards we are dealt. Despite these challenges, we can trust that God, like the ultimate player in the final round, can turn things around and bring about a victorious outcome for us. As the verse Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Societal Relevance​	If we as Christians feel like life is going against us or we are struggling with various challenges such as having car troubles, death of a family member/pet, or feeling sorrow, it can be helpful to remember that God is always with us and has a plan for our lives. We can lean on his strength and seek his guidance through prayer, scripture, and community with other believers. We can also try to focus on the good things in our lives, however small they may seem, and trust that God is working in our circumstances to bring about a greater good, even if we cannot see it yet. Additionally, seeking professional help and support, such as therapy or counseling, can be a valuable step in addressing specific struggles such as PTSD or religious OCD. Ultimately, we can trust that God's love and grace are always sufficient for us, and that he is faithful to redeem and restore us, even in the most difficult of circumstances. Remember, if we have regrets about our past mistakes, Jesus can forgive you of your sins (Colossians 2:13, Matthew 26:27-28), whether the sin is from a few seconds ago, or 30 years ago. For being saved by Jesus, the cost is Christ's blood, which to us Christians is free. Now, we may still feel guilt, but God understands humans can feel pain both physically and spiritually. For help with scrupulosity, there is a nonprofit known as the International OCD Foundation which has video and text resources on scrupulosity.

And a video by a Christian who explains that OCD happens sometimes (9 minutes).

 

[Strong in Him]

My life has gotten even worse. God seems to punish me for even the slightest mistakes I make nowadays, especially if I don't do penance for them, or if the penance I do isn't extreme enough to satisfy Him.

Sorry, but I don't believe that's God.
Jesus died for our sins. He bore them, took them upon himself. Paul says that he was made sin for us. If you have accepted Jesus - he died for your sins.
So there is no way that God would continue to punish you for even things that you do wrong, never mind other stuff like art. That would mean that what Jesus did, was pointless. Why would he send his Son to bear that agony for you, and then continue to punish you, or demand that you do extreme penances to satisfy him?

No. Stuff happens in life. Many people accept bad stuff/learn from it/try to find out, or ask God, why it happened that and then deal with it.
You seem to be blaming God for all the bad stuff. Not only that but if something bad or negative happens after something good, you seem to be assuming that that is a punishment for the good thing, which must have been wrong and offended God.

I'm not an expert but I would say that this is almost entirely due to your anxiety, OCD and whatever else. Your mind is making wrong connections and coming to wrong conclusions.
Jesus came so that you would have life; fulness of life, John 10:10. It's not God who wants to make you unhappy.

What did your therapist say?

 

[Aviel]

I know God doesn't lie. I just hope I'm not one of those people that Jesus said will not enter Heaven even though they call him their lord. (Matthew 7:21-23)

Going to heaven is not a test .

Its not an obstacle course to try to get there.

Its really so simple, to go..

= You Take Christ, and God Takes You.
= You Take Christ, and God Takes You.

Now...BELIEVE THAT..

Just Believe that..

Salvation is a Eternal FREE Gift from God that He GIVES to ALL who will come to Him by Faith In Christ.

Why is it Free?
Because its Given out of God's Mercy, Love, and Compassion.

See, "for God so loved YOU, that He sent Jesus down here, to die for YOUR SIN">......simply because God loves you that much.

You dont earn that.
You dont work for that.
You RECEIVE God's Gift of Salvation, when you Give God your Faith. = In Christ.

 

[SavedByGrace3]

God is not doing this to you. Resolve that in your heart and mind.

James 1:16-17 KJV
16 Do not err, my beloved brethren.
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

I do not doubt these things are happening. But they are not from God. Two possibilities:

1. It is just nature taking its course. What people might say is just bad luck:

Ecclesiastes 9:11 KJV
11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

2. There is a devil in this world. He is called the god of this world. He has power, and he loves to bring calamity to people. Think Job.

2 Corinthians 4:4 KJV
4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

Luke 10:19 KJV
19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

1 Peter 5:8 KJV
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

But notice the next verse:

1 Peter 5:9 KJV
9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
Perhaps you think you are not strong enough to resist anymore. But you do not have to help him. Stop blaming God.
Hebrews 11:6 KJV
6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hold on to that.

James 1:6-7 KJV
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

Stop helping the devil to hurt you.

 

[DavidTheGnome]

Sorry, but I don't believe that's God.
Jesus died for our sins. He bore them, took them upon himself. Paul says that he was made sin for us. If you have accepted Jesus - he died for your sins.
So there is no way that God would continue to punish you for even things that you do wrong, never mind other stuff like art. That would mean that what Jesus did, was pointless. Why would he send his Son to bear that agony for you, and then continue to punish you, or demand that you do extreme penances to satisfy him?

No. Stuff happens in life. Many people accept bad stuff/learn from it/try to find out, or ask God, why it happened that and then deal with it.
You seem to be blaming God for all the bad stuff. Not only that but if something bad or negative happens after something good, you seem to be assuming that that is a punishment for the good thing, which must have been wrong and offended God.

I'm not an expert but I would say that this is almost entirely due to your anxiety, OCD and whatever else. Your mind is making wrong connections and coming to wrong conclusions.
Jesus came so that you would have life; fulness of life, John 10:10. It's not God who wants to make you unhappy.

What did your therapist say?

My therapist said that the stuff I think is illogical.