Your Parents

Laurie919 · Apr 16, 2008

Did your parents parenting style have an effect on how you parent?

For me yes. My dad died when I was very young, he was buried on my 11th birthday. He was very sick all of my life and it was like never having a dad. I don't even remember him only what people have told me.

My mom died when I was 16, so I had her longer, but I was the baby. She was 39 when I was born. She had had a really hard life. Her first husband was very abusive, he even shot her. Then she married my dad. He was abusive, but he had a lot of other problems. So, I think by the time I came along she was just tired.

Basically I didn't have parents. I think that has me where I don't know how to be a parent because I didn't have a relationship to model it from.

Meshavrischika · Apr 16, 2008

yes - my mom spent my childhood depressed and didn't spend much time parenting me

my dad didn't really want kids and just was in charge of discipline which really tanked our relationship

they didn't get along with each other as well.

I promised NOT to be either of them and have succeeded so far. (I think)

angelpie545 · Apr 16, 2008

Well, I loved the way my parents took care of us, for the most part. There were things that I didn't like, but the good always would outweigh the bad. My mother was always very compassionate with us, very loving, and would always welcome us back into her arms when we did wrong. My father was the definition of a family man-even working while he had cancer (which ultimately took his life when I was barely 20) to ensure we could survive. I have the highest respect for him. My parents showed me both what I should and should not do as a parent, and so far, I hope that I have done well. I have a chronic illness that severely inhibits my ability to be physically active, and because of that, I feel like I can't always be the best parent I want to be, but I try my best.

Laurie919 · Apr 16, 2008

angelpie545 said:
Well, I loved the way my parents took care of us, for the most part. There were things that I didn't like, but the good always would outweigh the bad. My mother was always very compassionate with us, very loving, and would always welcome us back into her arms when we did wrong. My father was the definition of a family man-even working while he had cancer (which ultimately took his life when I was barely 20) to ensure we could survive. I have the highest respect for him. My parents showed me both what I should and should not do as a parent, and so far, I hope that I have done well. I have a chronic illness that severely inhibits my ability to be physically active, and because of that, I feel like I can't always be the best parent I want to be, but I try my best.

That is so sad. I am sorry that you are going through that.

lucypevensie · Apr 16, 2008

I learned a lot of what NOT to do from my own parents. I learned a lot of what TO do from observing families that I admired and from reading books on marriage and child-rearing. God has taken so many bad things and turned them into good. I am so thankful for how God has worked and is continuing to work in my family.

OrangeHope · Apr 17, 2008

lucypevensie said:
I learned a lot of what NOT to do from my own parents. I learned a lot of what TO do from observing families that I admired and from reading books on marriage and child-rearing. God has taken so many bad things and turned them into good. I am so thankful for how God has worked and is continuing to work in my family.

Same here! I always learned what not to do from my mom, she wasn't a good parent at all and should have never been a mother. I looked and saw how other families are and thats where I learned every thing I should do. I'm hoping I can be the best parent I'm able to be to this baby and not at all like my mom!

TexasSky · Apr 17, 2008

I adored both of my parents. They had flaws, but they freely admitted they had them. They made mistakes, but love guided them all of the time, and that was clear.

I have raised my children in the same style, focusing less on rules and wordly concerns, and keeping up with others, and more on trying to see things from my children's view point, trying to be supportive and loving, and being clear, when I discipline, about why I am disciplining.

I am far, far, far from a perfect Mom, but I have a very good relationship with both of my children, and they never did anything to make me ashamed of myself or of them.

lin1235 · Apr 18, 2008

I try to take the good from what my parents did and learn from the bad. My parenting style is very different to theirs (non-punitive where they were spankers) but they did a lot of good too, so I'm trying not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

JulySheMustFly · Apr 18, 2008

I can only hope to parent my children as well as my parents did with my sister and I. They were wonderful examples as were all my grandparents who were also a very large part of my upbringing.

coffeegal · Apr 18, 2008

like many of you, my husband and i are very different from our parents. trying to do things better than they did.

-~Truth_N_Trust~- · Apr 18, 2008

the older I get, and the longer I'm a parent, I'm able to recognise the parenting that was imparted on me.
My mum did great in some ways, terrible in others, and I'm trying to learn from that. I see things in myself that I recognise are from her - both good and bad.
My father was absent, the replacements were worse than hopeless, so that is one of the terrible things.
But Christ saved me and healed me from those negative effects.

Laurie919 · Apr 18, 2008

Leisamd said:
the older I get, and the longer I'm a parent, I'm able to recognise the parenting that was imparted on me.
My mum did great in some ways, terrible in others, and I'm trying to learn from that. I see things in myself that I recognise are from her - both good and bad.
My father was absent, the replacements were worse than hopeless, so that is one of the terrible things.
But Christ saved me and healed me from those negative effects.

That is one of the reasons I don't date. I don't want anyone to hurt Taylor. Not just physically but emotionally.

tiredwalker · Apr 18, 2008

I was very fortunate in the parents department. They really took the time to get to know us as individuals and mold their parenting style to each one.

My dad especially took the time to show us things and teach us. He showed me how to build stilts and a bow and arrow. At the same time he was helping my sis put together model air planes and squish things onto slides for her microscope. He let my sis and I saw and hammer all of his good lumber. We always had these great projects we were working on. He even let me play with his post-hole digger, and that the time, it seemed like the coolest thing ever.

There are things that I will do differently here and there, but I want to keep the majority of what they did.

Your Parents

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