Your inner thoughts

[Tayhana]

We always have other people telling us what we are and are not. We have them influencing the way we feel about ourselves, make us think things about ourselves that we want to admit so badly, but never can make ourselves actually say how we really feel. You follow?

I want each of you to write a sentence admitting one thing you feel about yourself that you are normally too scared/embarassed/etc to say to people you know. Don't just say "I feel happy" or "I feel sad." Just say what's been on your mind. I'll start.

I feel ignored.

 

[pennyattack]

I feel . . . stressed and pressured

 

[Ada Lovelace]

I feel foolish because of something completely moronic I did a couple of weeks ago that has caused numerous repercussions.

 

[graciesings]

I'm worried. I'm supposed to take flute lessons this semester, but this is the end of the first week of the semester, and I still haven't heard back from the flute teacher about when my lessons will be :/

I'm tense from coming out to the pastor yesterday. I have a friend down here that I want to tell, but I am not sure I should....

 

[Saricharity]

I feel....frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed with too many expectations....torn into so many directions and worn out! Misunderstood. And a tad angry.

Exams, music deadlines, tasks. Chores, parents, friends. Ugh.

Another part of me is elated. Full of expectation and joy. (Just the rest of it is casting a shadow.)

 

[graciesings]

I am on cloud nine. Because L and I are definitely girlfriends now.... and because my conversation with her tonight was fun. She always makes me laugh so hard...

I am a little worried about a few other things and a few other people... but.... the worry won't really take control for at least a little longer.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

I feel........
- Satisfied. The more stress-inducing and daunting a ginormous research paper is, the more satisfying it feels to hit the submit button to turn it in.
- Euphoric because I was invited to attend a Viennese Ball next month at the university I'll be attending in the fall. (Which you can see a bit of in the video below)
- Super pumped because my favorite choreographer is teaching classes this morning.

And I feel this for Gracie!!!!!!!!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO5LMlu0c2Y&spfreload=10

 

[graciesings]

Thanks!

On my mind right now, I'm a little worries because L called me this afternoon and told me a wild story about how she was drunk last night and that's why she acted as crazy as she did on the phone.

The details she gave don't fit. I would believe the bit about her being drunk, as she was either drunk or really tired last night, BUT the story she gave as to how that happened doesn't check out (at all)

 

[grandvizier1006]

I feel uncertain and incredibly foolish. My OCD has been causing me to believe in lies and live in fear. I'm just having to trust God that I don't need to be so afraid.

 

[graciesings]

I hit the 2015 Ford Escape in front of me in the McDonalds drive through.

I was going about 3 MPH. The paint on their fender is scratched, but I don't see anything on my car. Except it knocked the bugs off....

I am SO embarrassed. I do not want to tell my parents but I have to.

I want to crawl under the bed and die. Or at least sleep. But I can't because we have company.

 

[Tayhana]

Thanks so much for sharing, guys!

 

[graciesings]

I like this thread... it's a good one for venting, or what's-on-your-mind type things...

 

[folklore]

I'm having an identity crisis and hardly know who I am.

 

[graciesings]

I'm having an identity crisis and hardly know who I am.

You are a precious child of God, who was redeemed 2,000 years ago on the cross.

Keep that in mind, ok? The other parts matter, but they aren't nearly as important.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

I feel..............FRUSTRATED and ANNOYED because I was having a splendid dream and then helicopters woke me up!!!!!!!! Actual ones, not imaginary ones dreamt up. What the frickadoodle. I live in a very lovely, serene area of Los Angeles where crime is virtually nonexistent. We do not usually have what are known as the "ghetto birds" (police helicopters) hovering overhead unless Obama is in town or there's been a fire or an accident. It's after three in the morning. They have been overhead for 15 minutes now. I'm surprised we don't have zombies walking down the street because it's loud enough to wake the dead. And yet I'm apparently the only one who is actually awake. How is this even possible? I Tweeted to find out if anyone else was up, and received no response. The rest of my household is snoozing. There's nothing on the news about an apocalypse or escaped felon or anything. The news on right now is just the super early morning national news. I'm flipping through and learning that there's some really awful TV on at this hour. On NBC there's a Steve Harvey show where women who are all like under 40 are having their faces drawn on and shot up with all these fillers and botox to get rid of nonexistent wrinkles and aging. They are getting fat shot INTO their faces. They are having NEEDLES put in their FACE on TV. This world is seriously weird.

I have a class at 7:10 in the morning. Why? Because I am a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. I'm never going to go back to sleep and this was the first time in WEEKS I actually went to bed at a decent hour and thought I'd sleep through the night.

My mom is being a DRAMA QUEEN and driving me infreakingsane but besides her, and besides this interruption into my beauty sleep, I'm feeling reasonably content. Slightly stressed out because I have a dance competition and five quadrillion other things coming up, but very fulfilled.

I like this thread, haha. I can just deposit my annoyance and whine without judgement. Thank you.

 

[graciesings]

On my mind:

So over the last few days I've still been upset over what my girlfriend, L, said this weekend... she insists that story about the party is true, but it seems highly unlikely to me. According to the story, she snuck out of the house to go to a cheerleader party and got home by 9 PM. She had "no choice" because her popular friend "made" her go. Her friend's family is super rich (and live in a poorer district of one of the highest-crime cities of the US.) She was worried the friend might post pictures of her naked and drunk on FB, but you know what? Nobody with the name she gave is listed among her Facebook friends. Also, it seems to me that if she was completely drunk and talked with me for an hour after getting home from the party, she would have mentioned the party in that phone call...

and her story just seems too outrageous to be true, in general.

So, L holds to this story and swears she would never lie to me, which bothers me because I'm 95% sure she did.

and if the story is true we have a problem, because according to the story she was three sheets to the wind at this party and wound up stripping in front of a bunch of people AND takes no responsibility whatsoever for any of it. It is all her friends' fault for getting her drunk.

There are also a couple other issues with this girlfriend. One is that she we are long distance, which is hard. Another is that she is SO constantly hyper that she wears me out. Also, she is Wiccan, and a liberal, so we don't have a lot of common ground idea-wise. She is the only time I've really fallen in love with anyone though... I am really crazy about her emotionally

meanwhile... there's a guy down here, J, that I kind of like. And he really likes me. He asked me to be his girlfriend last night...

There are a lot of things about J that I still don't know, but I do know he's a lot more relaxing than L. He's calm and quiet and gentle. He also seems a lot more reasonable than L. And lives 20 miles away, not 850.

so.... I am thinking about breaking up with L... would you?

 

[folklore]

Thank you for the encouragement, gracie. ♥

I don't have any experience on the romance front, so I won't be of much help here. But, as someone who has close family members who are atheists and substance abusers, I would recommend breaking up with her. Relationships with non-believers rarely work out in the long run, and can be broken instantly. If they're ever repaired, it can take years.

I'd like to say more on the subject, but dinner is ready. Be back shortly.

 

[Charbel7]

I feel that this thread makes no sense. No offense tho Just wanted to be honest xD

 

[Saricharity]

It's a rant thread so it doesn't need to make sense.

I think it's nice to know I'm not alone in my times of feeling like, well, ranting. Haha

 

[Charbel7]

It's a rant thread so it doesn't need to make sense.

I think it's nice to know I'm not alone in my times of feeling like, well, ranting. Haha

Yep that makes sense

Haha you are absolutely not alone.