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your In Laws
- Thread starter SweetBella
- Start date
Entertaining_Angels
Well-Known Member
It's been difficult. They are not a close family by any means. Each and every one (except for hubby) has been divorced at least once or twice (with some four or more times) and not a one of them lives anywhere near another one. If you want to visit more than one of them, you have to drive at least three hours to get to the next relative's house so they are not close literally or emotionally.
It's tough but God is working on me to show them love. I haven't been doing very well there but I continue to pray for guidance, love and a lot of patience.
It's tough but God is working on me to show them love. I haven't been doing very well there but I continue to pray for guidance, love and a lot of patience.
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Amélie Unbound
Just doing the best I can.
I basically like my MIL, but she hurts my feelings sometimes. She resents my place in her son's life, because she was a single mom and my husband was her only child, and it was just the two of them until my husband moved out at the age of 28. Now he lives here in Canada with me.
I feel bad for her, because she is all alone in the world. And I can see that she tries to like me, and tries to be nice to me. But the resentment is there and it comes through. She insults me sometimes. She insults my taste in clothes (I wear dark colours a lot... not like a goth or anything, but I like simple, classic items in black, brown, navy, grey, etc., and she'd rather see me in fuchsia and yellow and colours like that). She says that I'm making her son fat with my cooking. She makes it clear that she thinks my interests are weird (like she couldn't figure out why I was interested in seeing Hadrian's Wall and other historical sites when we visited her in England). She acts possessive of my husband when we're all together, and calls him the man of her house and things like that.
On the other hand, she also says that she can see that my husband and I are perfect for each other. And she does make an effort, and sends me thoughtful gifts and cards for my birthday and for Christmas.
I want to get along with her. I want us to love each other. I tried to establish a good relationship with her right from the beginning. At the wedding, instead of tossing my bouquet to the single women, I publicly presented it to her with a little speech about how much I respect her for raising such a wonderful man, and how happy I was to have her for my new mother-in-law. I hoped that would get things off to a good start.
Like I said, I do basically like her. In some ways, I wish I were more like her. She's very outgoing and talkative. I feel very inadequate in that way. She's also very trusting, while I am more cynical. She's just more normal than I am. I am weird.
I feel bad for her, because she is all alone in the world. And I can see that she tries to like me, and tries to be nice to me. But the resentment is there and it comes through. She insults me sometimes. She insults my taste in clothes (I wear dark colours a lot... not like a goth or anything, but I like simple, classic items in black, brown, navy, grey, etc., and she'd rather see me in fuchsia and yellow and colours like that). She says that I'm making her son fat with my cooking. She makes it clear that she thinks my interests are weird (like she couldn't figure out why I was interested in seeing Hadrian's Wall and other historical sites when we visited her in England). She acts possessive of my husband when we're all together, and calls him the man of her house and things like that.
On the other hand, she also says that she can see that my husband and I are perfect for each other. And she does make an effort, and sends me thoughtful gifts and cards for my birthday and for Christmas.
I want to get along with her. I want us to love each other. I tried to establish a good relationship with her right from the beginning. At the wedding, instead of tossing my bouquet to the single women, I publicly presented it to her with a little speech about how much I respect her for raising such a wonderful man, and how happy I was to have her for my new mother-in-law. I hoped that would get things off to a good start.
Like I said, I do basically like her. In some ways, I wish I were more like her. She's very outgoing and talkative. I feel very inadequate in that way. She's also very trusting, while I am more cynical. She's just more normal than I am. I am weird.
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I voted other. My husband and I are deployed and the only time I've seen them in person was on our wedding day.
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- Jun 25, 2003
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Sometimes I love them, sometimes I hate them. Depends on my mood.
They do things to really annoy me and other times they are very caring and wonderful (his mother brought me soup and other wonderful goodies when I was sick right before Christmas)
But they are a typical pastor family who has absolutely no time for their family. They can throw a hundred luncheons for elders etc, but can only get in touch with their son and daughter in law once ever couple of weeks (usually by email might I add... )
They do things to really annoy me and other times they are very caring and wonderful (his mother brought me soup and other wonderful goodies when I was sick right before Christmas)
But they are a typical pastor family who has absolutely no time for their family. They can throw a hundred luncheons for elders etc, but can only get in touch with their son and daughter in law once ever couple of weeks (usually by email might I add... )
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CarrieAg93
Senior Veteran
- Oct 18, 2004
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My in-laws drive me nuts. DH is an only child and MIL has had a hard time letting him grow up. She lies and manipulates to get her way. And if you call her on it she says stuff like "oh I'm sorry. I guess I'm just so stupid" UGH!! FIL is a bigot and is constantly telling DH what he should do. They will come into our house and pick up stuff, like mail, and start reading it. Excuse me?! MIL also wants to know every little detail of our lives. They live 6 hrs away which is almost not far enough.
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I
I'ddie4him
Guest
Oblivious said:Love them to pieces. They've been really great to me.
Yup, I love my MIL to pieces too.
She takes my jokes and teasing so well.
My FIL leaves kind of a bad taste sometimes.
He can be a real hypocrite most of the time. I tolerate him most of the time.
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B
Beth1231
Guest
I voted "other" It's a little below "I love them to pieces" and a couple of notches above "they're okay."
My MIL has become a special person in my life. We only reconnect about once a month, but she tells me she loves me and I can tell in the things she does and says that it's true. She is very close to my husband and has been incredibly mature about letting me take first place. She's also a wise, godly Christian, so that helps a ton
FIL is a great person. Funny and likable. Also a wise, godly Christian. But he has no daughters and has very little concept of how to "bond" with me. He tries to treat me like one of his sons and, of course, that doesn't come across as affectionate and warm, lol. But he tries and I'm going to keep trying until I teach him how to have a close relationship with his daughter-in-law!
My MIL has become a special person in my life. We only reconnect about once a month, but she tells me she loves me and I can tell in the things she does and says that it's true. She is very close to my husband and has been incredibly mature about letting me take first place. She's also a wise, godly Christian, so that helps a ton
FIL is a great person. Funny and likable. Also a wise, godly Christian. But he has no daughters and has very little concept of how to "bond" with me. He tries to treat me like one of his sons and, of course, that doesn't come across as affectionate and warm, lol. But he tries and I'm going to keep trying until I teach him how to have a close relationship with his daughter-in-law!
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Redguard
Make It So, Number One!
- Oct 20, 2004
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Wife's parents are divorced.
MIL is having a mid-life crisis. She's 46 and goes clubbing with 18 yr olds.
FIL is a tough cookie... wife gets her temprament from him. But I admire him. He's a really cool photographer and I like photography. He's also a techy.
MIL is having a mid-life crisis. She's 46 and goes clubbing with 18 yr olds.
FIL is a tough cookie... wife gets her temprament from him. But I admire him. He's a really cool photographer and I like photography. He's also a techy.
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My hubbys parents are divorced, MIL is ok, she tends to baby hubby a little, we get on ok most of the time, she is a christian but much more conservative then me.
FIL is ok too, I've only met him a few times, he used to be an officer in the RAF so he has that english air force manner about him, chocks away, what ho.
FIL is ok too, I've only met him a few times, he used to be an officer in the RAF so he has that english air force manner about him, chocks away, what ho.
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newyorknewyork
Well-Known Member
love them to pieces - that includes my MIL and FIL thats all hehe
no my parents in law are wonderful amazing ppl!!!
heheno my parents in law are wonderful amazing ppl!!!
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nowhereville
Senior Member
My MIL is a very unhappy person, subsequently she has a habit of hurting others. I used to dispise her, but now I feel bad for her even when she's mean to me or my husband.
If I won a million dollars and bought her everything she EVER said she'd wanted, she'd still be equally unhappy. I go out of my way to be nice to her.
Sometimes I get angry, but ultimately, I always return to feeling sorry for her I wish she could be truely happy.
If I won a million dollars and bought her everything she EVER said she'd wanted, she'd still be equally unhappy. I go out of my way to be nice to her.
Sometimes I get angry, but ultimately, I always return to feeling sorry for her
I wish she could be truely happy.
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L
lacedinlavender
Guest
I love my future-in-laws to bits and pieces! They are wonderful, godly people and I feel blessed to have them in my life.
I'm not sure my boyfriend feels the same about my parents, though.
Jen
I'm not sure my boyfriend feels the same about my parents, though.
Jen
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c1ners
Senior Contributor
My first set of in laws were wonderful. They still think of me as their daughter.
My now in laws are a different story. They still have a picture of my husband and his first wife up in their living room. I've given them a few pictures of us, but they don't seem to want to replace her.
My now in laws are a different story. They still have a picture of my husband and his first wife up in their living room. I've given them a few pictures of us, but they don't seem to want to replace her.
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