Your Daughter in Bikini Contest

[redblue22]

What do you do if your daughter (or son) gets into some interest you don't agree with?

I once (accidentally) showed up to a bikini contest and there were girls on stage. What surprised me is that the girls' families were there to support them. I remember eating some food in another area and one girl's little brother came running by with a calendar of all the girls including his sister.

Seems like an interesting dilemma you guys could hack it out over.

Support your daughter (or son) in their choices or shame them and sit home?

 

[PetLuv]

Oh, this is where we are supposed to find some moral objection to wearing a bikini?
Alright, I'm in.

 

[redblue22]

lol . . . good point. Girls on the beach, ok. Girls on stage, wrong. (should I post a link to the calendar?)

Instead of arguing about the particular cut of bikini, I was trying to pick something that might be more neutral but would give a sense to people that sometimes there is something we might feel an objection to our son or daughter or spouse doing that isn't exactly immoral--but we aren't always comfortable with either.

Ok, instead of your daughter on stage at a biker bar in a near invisible contest bikini or your son in drag or either majoring in philosophy (which is definitely wrong), you pick. Pick something cultural that you can't say is just not right, but also makes you feel very uncomfortable. How do you handle it?

(here I thought bikini was safe and neutral, but maybe we should have church bikini contests like in Coming to America?)

 

[RisingSpirit]

...Ok, instead of your daughter on stage in a near invisible contest bikini or your son in drag or either majoring in philosophy (which is definitely wrong), you pick. Pick something cultural that you can't say is just not right, but also makes you feel very uncomfortable. How do you handle it?

I would think they haven't finish raising their son, properly. Despite the cold at the gay rights line this morning, this man sports a leotard. "I thought it was going to be way worse weather wise" he says.

The daughters in bikini contests are probably waving wooden crosses.

 

[wannaberocker]

Shocker the thread is started by Redblue22.

 

[Toro]

It depends on the reason she was in the contest.

IF she were in the contest because she was in search of validation or attention then I would know I failed as a dad, then I would feel shame, not as much in her as in myself.

IF she were doing it for say a scholarship or something similar to further her in life/goal. Then I would be proud and support her (albeit a bit uncomfortable with "my little girl" walking around being ogled by a bunch of men, half dressed. )

I would just have to fight the urge to grab everyone of their heads and smash them into the floor til they were bloody mush and all in comas.

Of course I already know I would be an over protective wreck if I had a daughter, not so much a son. I would care for them both the same, but as they got older I would worry less about a son, more about a daughter.

That is the only reason I don't want a daughter...... I dont want to be up nights pacing with a rifle like a prison guard, when she is old enough to date. I would much rather sleep.

 

[jaapottery]

I'd have to agree with Toro about the reasoning behind them living a "life style". Is it all for attention? Or is that just part of "who they are"? There a lot of people who just do things for the shock value, but then there are people who do things just because they want to. I'm more like that. I know my Mom didn't approve of my getting tattoos. And as a teen I had my hair dyed pink and purple and so on, before it was so common place. I did that on occasion, too much work to keep it up all the time. I'm not really sure if that was for attention or not. I was so shy, why would it be?... But I also felt invisible, so maybe... I also had my tongue pierced, not because of the implications of a tongue ring, but because I thought it was cool.

I sometimes feel like a Christian on the fringe, I am much more "alternative" than most people I know. So I guess I would love and accept my kid for who they are. Kids are always going to do things their parents find odd or shocking, that's because we're different generations and grow up in different times.

How's that? Do I pass the class Red?

 

[pressingon17]

I'd have a little issue with my daughter in a bikini contest. Other "men" seeing my daughter the way only her future husband should see her? I must be over protective and super conservative.

 

[Niels]

Bikinis don't bother me, but bikini contests do. Whether something is appropriate or advisable has a lot to do with the intentions behind it, and such contests seem exploitative to me. Never mind the fact that they're subjective as all get-out, and a lousy way to develop a sense of self worth.

 

[Rose of Eden]

If I had a daughter that wanted to be in a bikini contest, I would have some issues with it. Assuming she's over 18 and a legal adult, I don't think I could support her if her intentions behind it were wrong, such as seeking validation, attention, or fame for parading around almost naked to be judged like an object in a contest. However, if her intentions weren't wrong, like it was one factor in some scholarship pageant-type competition, I might support her, albeit reluctantly, depending on the circumstances.

If, however, she's under 18...ABSOLUTELY forbidden. I would never allow a teenage daughter of mine to parade around half naked in some bikini contest and allow every pedophile in the community to ogle over her and fantasize about her. No way! She's not allowed to do it. No ifs, ands, or buts.

 

[SnowyMacie]

What do you do if your daughter (or son) gets into some interest you don't agree with?

I once (accidentally) showed up to a bikini contest and there were girls on stage. What surprised me is that the girls' families were there to support them. I remember eating some food in another area and one girl's little brother came running by with a calendar of all the girls including his sister.

Seems like an interesting dilemma you guys could hack it out over.

Support your daughter (or son) in their choices or shame them and sit home?

They are still my child.
Here's what I don't get: wearing bikini at a beach is morally okay, where men are still going to look at her the same way...wearing it some sort of contest that literally is the same thing except on a stage with a winner (not okay). I don't get that logic. I would sit down with him/her and talk to her about their reasoning for doing so. If my daughter wants to enter a beauty pageant or do cheer/dance instead of sports (the odds of because of my family's DNA is .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001%) even wants to become a model or something, I may not approve of the choice, but I would still support her/him. They are my child, and I believe a parent's love should be unconditional.

 

[EazyMack]

First of all, I'd wonder where I went wrong, for her to seek this kind of attention.

Then, I'd beg and plead for her not to go through with it.

And there is no way I could watch the contest.

 

[Neve]

It's just a bikini. I own a nice little black one from Charlotte Russ (got it for $6 total on sale, in bikini off-season - the steal of a lifetime for a bikini).

Most beauty pageants still feature swimsuit contests. And I think I would prefer if my hypothetical daughter was onstage strutting in a bikini than stripping for a porno or dancing on a pole or sleeping with random men.

So I just don't think it's that bad in the scheme of things. And I can think of a lot worse things than a bikini contest.

 

[BigMat]

My daughter in a bikini contest -- I read that as "my baby parading around in her underwear on stage in front of strange leering men." No father worth his salt would be fine with his daughter doing something like that. I don't even see what the point of such a thing is other than to rate a woman's half naked body using other women's half naked bodies as the scale.

If she were living under my roof, she would know better than to even ask.

If she were grown, my instinctual reaction might be something similar to this:

Castle 5x06 "The Final Frontier" Castle Sees Alexis in Costume (HD/CC/L↔L orTranslatable) - YouTube

 

[Catherineanne]

What do you do if your daughter (or son) gets into some interest you don't agree with?

Support her wholeheartedly. Children, even adult children, will push boundaries from time to time. Teens in particular will want to know where our love ends and turns into condemnation. If we understand this we can set reasonable boundaries on behaviour, while ensuring that our children know that our love is unconditional.

God gave me free will for a reason; so that when I make the right choices he can be happy with me. I give my daughter the same free will, for the same reason.

My d has never let me down in any way, and it is impossible for her to do so. She makes the decisions in her life, and I support her in them; all of them. She can do nothing to make me love her less, or think less of her.

 

[Catherineanne]

My daughter in a bikini contest -- I read that as "my baby parading around in her underwear on stage in front of strange leering men."

I am not an expert on men such as you describe, but I suspect they are more likely to be found in a strip club than in a beauty pageant. And a bikini is not underwear.

Seriously, why change a into b and then get upset? Beauty pageants may not be everyone's cup of tea, but they are a LONG way from a 'baby' in underwear in front of leering men.

 

[Catherineanne]

It's just a bikini. I own a nice little black one from Charlotte Russ (got it for $6 total on sale, in bikini off-season - the steal of a lifetime for a bikini).

Most beauty pageants still feature swimsuit contests. And I think I would prefer if my hypothetical daughter was onstage strutting in a bikini than stripping for a porno or dancing on a pole or sleeping with random men.

So I just don't think it's that bad in the scheme of things. And I can think of a lot worse things than a bikini contest.

I agree.

 

[PetLuv]

lol . . . good point. Girls on the beach, ok. Girls on stage, wrong. (should I post a link to the calendar?)

Instead of arguing about the particular cut of bikini, I was trying to pick something that might be more neutral but would give a sense to people that sometimes there is something we might feel an objection to our son or daughter or spouse doing that isn't exactly immoral--but we aren't always comfortable with either.

Ok, instead of your daughter on stage at a biker bar in a near invisible contest bikini or your son in drag or either majoring in philosophy (which is definitely wrong), you pick. Pick something cultural that you can't say is just not right, but also makes you feel very uncomfortable. How do you handle it?

(here I thought bikini was safe and neutral, but maybe we should have church bikini contests like in Coming to America?)

This is actually going to take me some time as there is nothing that I can think of that is legal that would bother me terribly. Many things that are illegal would likely not bother me too much.

Honestly, I think that I would feel proud to have raised a child that would be doing something that pushes the limits(in some circles). I would hope that she is doing it to achieve her goals and not out of a need of validation/attention from strangers.
I could see myself do such a thing - heck if I looked good enough to I'd probably work in a strip club.

Life is about many things; being ashamed of how you get ahead is not one of them.

 

[redblue22]

The real challenge in this thread is to come up with something that makes you really uncomfortable but that isn't something you also have come to believe is right or wrong.

 

[ks777]

This isn't as good as the thread where you basically asked all the CF ladies to post photos of them in bikinis lol. I can't believe that didn't end well