Young people being provactive.

[grace222]

I've noticed on my neice's Facebook account that she posts a lot of photos that are quite provactive..Photos taken of her boyfriend and girlfriends in provactive positions(kissing each other, poking tongues out) and licking each other's faces and biting each other's cheeks.
My neice didn't even mind her female friend licking her boyfriend's face....

She is 18 years of age.
I've also noticed girls having their profile photos taken with other girls kissing each other and pouting provactively.
Is this a phase or something more serious?
My neice made a commitment to Christ about 3 years ago.

I remember when I was young we took special care not to touch other people, unless we were hugging them. We took care to respect our bodies.

I see this with very young children too - as young as 10.

I'm most concerned. I addressed this concern with someone and they said, "I had to move with the times".

Even if these young people are doing this out of innocence, isn't this a serious matter?

Any thoughts?

 

[Jade Margery]

Do you mean "Provocative"? Or is this a new word? I love learning new words, I am honestly curious.

To answer your questions, yes, the culture is changing, and some amount of adjustment is called for. Young people these days tend to have pretty physical relationships as far as I've seen, even among friends (not boy/girlfriends). Hugging, wrestling, cuddling, and even falling asleep on top of each other seem to be becoming the norm. (I saw three boys and two girls share a bed once, nothing sexual they were all just sleepy.)

On the one hand, if a person is acting like this because it is normal for them and they are comfortable with their own bodies and enjoy showing affection physically, that is all well and good. The problem with face book and teh interwebs is that people will sometimes take things farther than they would normally be comfortable with to get a picture and some attention. It is the attention-seeking I would be worried about, not what they are doing to get it, since it suggests that perhaps they are not happy with their lives and seeking the affection, attention, and approval of strangers on the webs to the point where it dictates their actions.

If your neice is one of the ones posting pictures of herself, I would talk to her parents. Young people need a lot of support and encouragement in that stage of life--she is just moving from the protective spheres of teens and childhoods to becoming a full adult, which can cause a lot of fear and uncertainty even if she does not show it. Girls looking for approval and affirmation who cannot get it from their parents may act out in the ways you describe to get it from "friends". Talking to her about what she plans to do with her life, expressing confidence in her ability to make choices and succeed, and offering positive advice and help can give a young woman the strength and self esteem she needs to feel above sensationalist behaviors.

 

[ThatRobGuy]

Sorry to break the bad news to you, but perspectives change a lot from age 15 to 18, and even more from 18 to 21.

When I was 15, I remember going through the motions of being a Christian to make my parents happy and to fit in with the other 15 year old kids at the church (that I was forced to hand out with every Wednesday and Sunday).

When I turned 18, it was a similar story for me, I completely changed my views and started being who I thought I should be rather than who my parents thought I should be.

Maybe the commitment to Christ that she made wasn't real?? I know mine wasn't at age 15.

A lot of it is culture based too. It's not unusual for 18 year olds to try to attract or get the attention of the opposite sex, in fact we would be extinct if they didn't

 

[Freodin]

I can remember from my youth the silly photos we made in those photo cabins. Not very different from the facebook or myspace pictures you find on the web today.

I think this is the main difference: the web. Not the behaviour of youths, but the publicity that it gets.

This function of the internet is rather new, and we as a society are still learning how to cope with that. We cannot go back.

 

[EnemyPartyII]

I still say the provocative photos need to be posted here so we know exactly what we are discussing.

 

[Supernaut]

I still say the provocative photos need to be posted here so we know exactly what we are discussing.

I say descriptions are more than adequate.

 

[Pauler]

On the one hand, if a person is acting like this because it is normal for them and they are comfortable with their own bodies and enjoy showing affection physically, that is all well and good. The problem with face book and teh interwebs is that people will sometimes take things farther than they would normally be comfortable with to get a picture and some attention. It is the attention-seeking I would be worried about, not what they are doing to get it, since it suggests that perhaps they are not happy with their lives and seeking the affection, attention, and approval of strangers on the webs to the point where it dictates their actions.

i think i would tend to agree with you Jade Margery. With the current culture saying, "if you get publicity and attention...that means your important"...kids want the attention whether it is good attention or not. i think we as adults need to affirm and support these kids and have honest, non-condemning coversations with them.

 

[Axioma]

I'd like an explanation of how, exactly, girls kissing other girls and then uploading pictures of that means they "aren't respecting their bodies". And why being mortally terrified of touching people in public is supposed to be good, rather than a sign of psychological damage.

 

[yasic]

I would say this is serious and not just a small phase. While this behavior for a western culture is not new, as in such behavior has always existed though we simply did not have the internet earlier to show how common it really is, it does not mean that it is good that a group of people is acting in such a way.

When I was between the ages of 15-19, I noticed how some of my friends started to act similarly to what you described and I distanced myself from them to be around ones who would at least not act so publicly on sexuality or such issues. I noticed how as a the groups split, our interests divided as well, specifically in that the group I was left in chose to spend our time in much more productive activities such as involving ourselves in more political and philosophical discussions, spending more of our group time to engage in academics together, and participating in more community efforts such a theater and community service projects.

The other friends who chose to stay more in the group of the folk who take such pictured tended to flow more toward watching popular culture shows on tv, and overall had their academics slip, though on the plus side they were much more involved in athletics activities and stayed in better physical shape than us.

Now, I am by no means claiming that if a person takes such a picture that he/she will certainly fall into one or the other category, nor that its really one or the other black and white issue. I simply say that if you take the extreme of the two groups, the second group would have more of the style of people who do take such photos while the first one does not, and as a social species, we humans tend to align ourselves with the people we spend our time with which is the reason there is any divide at all.

To phrase this in another manner, its not that taking pictures of your sexuality or being more openly sexual makes you flow more toward group two, but that currently it happens to be that those people who currently take such photos are in group two, and if you do two you are likely to inherit their behavior from proximity.

Nor would I make the claim that this is necessarily such for all areas of the country, it could easily be that this phenomena was unique to the area in which I grew up and I simply have no way of knowing how it is in other places. The only thing I can share is my personal story from this.


However, to the OP, one piece of news that you would probably find uplifting is that most members of my group, myself including, have lost any religious faith we had, while the other group managed to keep theirs strong.

 

[Jade Margery]

I'd like an explanation of how, exactly, girls kissing other girls and then uploading pictures of that means they "aren't respecting their bodies". And why being mortally terrified of touching people in public is supposed to be good, rather than a sign of psychological damage.

Really, I think it's the reason they are doing it, not what they are doing, that may be disrespectful to themselves.

 

[Tower Crane Driver]

Is she drunk when these photos are taken?

I'd like an explanation of how, exactly, girls kissing other girls and then uploading pictures of that means they "aren't respecting their bodies". And why being mortally terrified of touching people in public is supposed to be good, rather than a sign of psychological damage.

Agreed.

 

[The Nihilist]

This is precisely why I'm not facebook friends with my aunt.

 

[MoonLancer]

This is precisely why I'm not facebook friends with my aunt.

LOL ;p

aunts thinking i dress too provocatively on face book... that would be pretty annoying when they should instead be understanding and respect me for who i am

I mean even if this girl turns out to be bi or a lesbian would that really be that bad?

 

[No Swansong]

"Won't somebody please think of the Children?" No actually I understand the concern of the OP, and I admire her desire to protect children in general and her niece specifically. But isn't this a matter for her parents? I know that before my children were old enough to make such decision I saw every site, I approved every picture I even approved every e-mail. My best advice would be to bring it to their attention and allow them to deal with it as they find appropriate.

 

[No Swansong]

I forgot to add the part that says I'm on facebook every day and have not discovered any provocative pictures, but to be fair most of my friends are my age.

 

[Kharak]

I'd like an explanation of how, exactly, girls kissing other girls and then uploading pictures of that means they "aren't respecting their bodies". And why being mortally terrified of touching people in public is supposed to be good, rather than a sign of psychological damage.

In certain, more civilized cultures, people will regularly hold hands in public among the same sex. The worst part? They're just friends!

Ooooh! Scary. Who would've thunk that physical contact does not actually mean that babies will result. Unless someone here believes we reproduce through skin like a certain green alien.

 

[raz!]

i dont think theres too much harm in these photos, however, i think people are more provocative these days.

i live in the city centre and i see young girls going to clubs and they are dressed in literally next to nothing and it makes me cringe. then you see young guys staring at them and shouting stuff at them and it makes me feel sick.

i have had men shout stuff at me about my body (including having an incident where i was nearly attacked by a man) and i was covered nearly head to toe and i cant help but think that girls dressing like 'that' and letting guys treat them as sex objects has something to do with the way some men are towards women.

 

[quatona]

I've noticed on my neice's Facebook account that she posts a lot of photos that are quite provactive..Photos taken of her boyfriend and girlfriends in provactive positions(kissing each other, poking tongues out) and licking each other's faces and biting each other's cheeks.
My neice didn't even mind her female friend licking her boyfriend's face....

I don´t find all that provocative.

She is 18 years of age.
I've also noticed girls having their profile photos taken with other girls kissing each other and pouting provactively.
Is this a phase or something more serious?

It´s a phase.

My neice made a commitment to Christ about 3 years ago.

It´s a phase.

I remember when I was young we took special care not to touch other people, unless we were hugging them.

I remember being very inclined to be in physical touch with other persons back then.

We took care to respect our bodies.

I am afraid I can´t follow the modal equation "kissing/licking someone means disrespecting one´s body.

I see this with very young children too - as young as 10.

I'm most concerned. I addressed this concern with someone and they said, "I had to move with the times".

I am concerned with the "had to". I´m not necessarily opposed to moving with the times, but I certainly don´t want anyone to feel they have to.

I guess there´s a pattern in there: every generation tends to be concerned with the cultural changes introduced by the next generation(s).

 

[MoonLancer]

I remember when I was young we took special care not to touch other people, unless we were hugging them. We took care to respect our bodies.

That's the problem right here. Your confusing respect with shame. we are social creatures and repression can be unhealthy.

 

[Washington]

From the description, my impression is that for an 18 yo it's a bit of slightly immature, playful silliness.