You Know You Are A Parent When:

--you ask the maitre d' in a fancy restaurant where the pottyis.

--you carry a tiny purse or wallet and a fifteen pound diaper bag.

-- a bedroom fantasy is a full ten hours of uninterrupted sleep

-- you don't even notice the dried spit up/drool/chocolate pudding fingerprints on your shirt.

-- you say "NO!" "Knock it off!" "Keep it down!" in your sleep

-- your "highlights" are really well-earned gray hairs.

-- you wear a homemade pea green pin/tie tack proudly, just cause your kid made it

-- you hear a kid crying in the supermarket and get whiplash looking around before you remember yours are home.

-- a sloppy kiss, a bear hug, a "Zerbert" on the leg are worth more than gold.

--Your once immaculate house is considered clean if you have a path of dirt and crumbs not over an inch high.

--you get in the car on a warm day, put the windows down, turn the key, and some loud kiddie music comes blaring out.

-- you know how to walk with a child wrapped around one or both legs.

--you realize that your parents really do know everything!