Writing a Song - Need Help of a Native Spanish Speaker

So I write music with Christian content often and I've always wanted to do one in another language. I studied linguistics, so I know how important it is for people to hear things in their own tongues.

I'm trying to translate one of my songs into Spanish, but I'm not confident about what really sounds like a rhyme to a person who grew up speaking Spanish... Also, I assume some of the lines can be shortened to make the rhythm more regular, but I'm not sure how to shorten phrases in a way which would still sound correct but simply an artistic rendering to a Spanish listener, if that makes sense. Sometimes in English we stretch grammar rules to make a line fit better and rearrange words to get a rhyme we need.

Basically, I need a Spanish speaker (preferably a native speaker familiar with Spanish music) to look over what I've got and help me adjust it to be more correct and lyrical.

This is what I've got:

Oración En La Noche
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tu control sobre mi corazón se fortalece.
Hacer que mi deambular sea menos frecuente.
Entonces en muchos años
Veré claramente cómo me has transformado.

Por favor, dame paciencia todos los días
Y en el camino, nuevas garantías.
Recógeme cuando me caiga.
Levantarme a las alturas.

Estoy roto, pero apoyado por tu gracia.
Por todos mis pecados, pido misericordia.
Y aunque lloro, también sé que
Los santos más fuertes han caído.

Gracias! Thank you so much for your help!

Here are the original English words:

Strengthen Your hold upon my heart.
Lessen the times when I depart.
That years from now I'll clearly see
How You've transformed and molded me.

Patience, please give me for each day
And fresh assurance along the way.
Lift me when I have fallen down
To greater heights and a victory sounds.

Broken, I lean on grace again.
Mercy I ask for all my sin.
And though I mourn, I also know
The greatest saints have fallen low.

Okay, this is what I have so far then...

Oración En La Noche
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tu control sobre mi corazón se fortalece.
Hace que mi deambular no sea tan frecuente.
Entonces, tras muchos años
Veré claramente cómo me has transformado.

Por favor, dame paciencia todos los días
Y en el camino, nuevas garantías. (I used "garantías" for "assurance" or "reassurance").
Recógeme cuando me caiga.
Álzame a las alturas.

Estoy roto, pero tu gracia me sostiene.
Por todos mis pecados, pido misericordia.
Y aunque lloro, también sé que
Los santos más fuertes han caído.

Does this have a good rhythm and sound lyrical to you? Something that would be easy to sing with music?