I was raised by some great parents...kinda...Like most they did their best...but I was a rebellios one...but still...there was that solemn heartfelt promise and an acceptance...but I rebelled alot when I was young...during my time of rebellion against so much...I got married to a woman that only had a said faith...in the end after seventeen years of holding the marriage together with bailing wire and bandaids and prayer for the last nine...it failed...I am only a part time daddy to my son...I am sooooo sorry...I tried to bring her with me about nine years ago...and failed...cept she has all the right answers now and seems to know...but can't do any of it...in the end she is a tare that was spoken of...well there are so many these days...
I am soooo sorry...
ONe day as I was playing with a new computer laptop that I had bought I found the internet...I found a christian website right off the bat...and there were others like me...oh we have great fun...and we play...
but
I met someone who seemed kinda special...we had a great friendship...and my fondness towards her grew...kinda like a dear in the headlights I was...I was so lonely...so hurt...and she was so kind...so loving...such a comfort...
A few months ago she came to visit me while her daughter visited her father...we fell...hard.
It felt so good...and I knew, we both knew, it was wrong...but we had a very difficult time repenting...
I had grown so much these last nine years as a Christian with steady almost running progress I wondered how bad this one was gonna cost me...but I was forgiven when I asked...we always are...
The earth and my heart however...they make you pay when you least expect it...and the cost is almost more than I can bear...
You see...today I had to tell her...That one day I would like to remarry...that a relationship as long distance as ours is isn't enough...She can't move from where she is at and neither can I...every angle has been explored...and it just can't happen. I have hurt her...and I really didn't want to...but if I didn't hurt her now it would only get worse...and become worse...I still so care for her...I haven't found anyone...ain't really looking...ain't really interested...I hurt bad...cause I know that I shoulda done better...but I didn't.
I am soooo sorry...
I like her, I still care for her...a lot. It likely wouldn't hurt near this much for either of us if....
I ain't gonna forget this one for a long time...cause other than a forum where so few read and post...I can't really share this one...I have no spouse...no really close friend to tell...and a really big hurt...
I know how Peter felt when Paul was through with him for his treatment of the Gentiles really was explained to him...But he had to keep going...and so do I. He was told and so was I...we just didn't do better.
I am soooo sorry...
ONe day as I was playing with a new computer laptop that I had bought I found the internet...I found a christian website right off the bat...and there were others like me...oh we have great fun...and we play...
but
I met someone who seemed kinda special...we had a great friendship...and my fondness towards her grew...kinda like a dear in the headlights I was...I was so lonely...so hurt...and she was so kind...so loving...such a comfort...
A few months ago she came to visit me while her daughter visited her father...we fell...hard.
It felt so good...and I knew, we both knew, it was wrong...but we had a very difficult time repenting...
I had grown so much these last nine years as a Christian with steady almost running progress I wondered how bad this one was gonna cost me...but I was forgiven when I asked...we always are...
The earth and my heart however...they make you pay when you least expect it...and the cost is almost more than I can bear...
You see...today I had to tell her...That one day I would like to remarry...that a relationship as long distance as ours is isn't enough...She can't move from where she is at and neither can I...every angle has been explored...and it just can't happen. I have hurt her...and I really didn't want to...but if I didn't hurt her now it would only get worse...and become worse...I still so care for her...I haven't found anyone...ain't really looking...ain't really interested...I hurt bad...cause I know that I shoulda done better...but I didn't.
I am soooo sorry...
I like her, I still care for her...a lot. It likely wouldn't hurt near this much for either of us if....
I ain't gonna forget this one for a long time...cause other than a forum where so few read and post...I can't really share this one...I have no spouse...no really close friend to tell...and a really big hurt...
I know how Peter felt when Paul was through with him for his treatment of the Gentiles really was explained to him...But he had to keep going...and so do I. He was told and so was I...we just didn't do better.
