Do you think that it is ok to date, when you are obvioulsy to young to be thinking (seriously) about marriage?
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Would you "go out"...
- Thread starter theywhosowintears
- Start date
goat37 said:
I never thought of it like that... you have a point... but I had more the a dozen girlfriends in my early to mid teens... none of wich were healthy relationships... I have had one awesome Christian girlfriend for 3 years now and I wish I never had any before her.
Peace.
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gizmo03
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- Aug 17, 2004
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I voted 'yes' as well. You can learn so much from being in a relationship and get on the right mindset about many things.
But I have always told myself that I never want to date someone that I can't see myself marrying.
But I have always told myself that I never want to date someone that I can't see myself marrying.
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Yes. If I don't know what the person is like romantically then why would I want to marry her?
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RThibeault
ThE GrInCh DaDdy--Keeper of the Popcicles
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I'd only call it a date if it were romantic, and it'd only be romantic if I were considering the person in some marriage context... otherwise it's just a night out with a girl.
As for age, when both people are mature - that's for the individuals to decide (an individual can access his/her maturity better than I might).
As for age, when both people are mature - that's for the individuals to decide (an individual can access his/her maturity better than I might).
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Nikoel
Warrior for Christ
I went on my first date when I was 14. Yes, I was at the time a Christian... and I also knew I was too young for marriage. From day one in our relationship I set my terms (i.e. told him that I was Christian, that I had high standards and that I would only date someone I could see myself marrying, someone with similar beliefs and integrity.)
I am glad I laid down my lines at the beginning, and he respected them for 7 years until we married.
I am glad I laid down my lines at the beginning, and he respected them for 7 years until we married.
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Okay, here are Grace's personal dating rules:
Rule 1) DO NOT for any reason, at any age and under any circumstance date someone who is not also a Christian. Period. Sooner or later, it will bring you heartache.
Rule 2) Do not date anyone who isn't dating for the same reasons. Don't date someone who looking to marry if you are not. If you are looking to marry, don't date someone who isn't.
Rule 3) Date before the age of 18 to get know yourself and others, not to find a mate. Don't take it too seriously, don't spend too much time alone together, and, please, don't start planning wedding before you've gone to your senior prom.
My father, oddly enough, encouraged me to date while I was in highschool but told me not to "take it too seriously." This, of course, fell on deaf ears (as it probably is with some readers now) and I endowed great importance on all my relationships and thus, suffered not a few heartbreaks. Regardless, I'm glad I did it. I learned a lot about my personality, my weaknesses and by the time I met my husband, I was able to approach the relationship more thoughtfully.
Rule 1) DO NOT for any reason, at any age and under any circumstance date someone who is not also a Christian. Period. Sooner or later, it will bring you heartache.
Rule 2) Do not date anyone who isn't dating for the same reasons. Don't date someone who looking to marry if you are not. If you are looking to marry, don't date someone who isn't.
Rule 3) Date before the age of 18 to get know yourself and others, not to find a mate. Don't take it too seriously, don't spend too much time alone together, and, please, don't start planning wedding before you've gone to your senior prom.
My father, oddly enough, encouraged me to date while I was in highschool but told me not to "take it too seriously." This, of course, fell on deaf ears (as it probably is with some readers now) and I endowed great importance on all my relationships and thus, suffered not a few heartbreaks. Regardless, I'm glad I did it. I learned a lot about my personality, my weaknesses and by the time I met my husband, I was able to approach the relationship more thoughtfully.
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invisiblebabe
He will restore the years the locust hath eaten
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Depends on what you'd call dating. If you mean, going out one-on-one with a member of the opposite sex, or to a dance, or something... then sure, it's okay to date without intention of seeing if the person is right for marriage.
If you mean getting in a serious, exclusive relationship without intending to see if marriage is a possibility, then dating in that sense is silly and often ends up hurting more than it's worth.
If you mean getting in a serious, exclusive relationship without intending to see if marriage is a possibility, then dating in that sense is silly and often ends up hurting more than it's worth.
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sculpturegirl
Well-Known Member
gracefaith said:
Grace is the wisest of the wise
I would like to add a distinction here between going out on A date and dating. Go on lots of dates when you are young. Get to know some boys and know how to interact in a dating scenario. DON'T get physical or let down your standards, at any age for that matter. Like Grace's father, my mother encouraged me to "date 'em three times and dump 'em." This was her father's advice to her. He drew the distinction between dinner-dates and serious "going steady" type of dating. What is the point of "going steady" at 15 anyway? I had a few junior high and high school boyfriends- relationships that lasted only months, but went on lots of dinner-dates! I am very glad for that.
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I voted yes, but I think that answer doesn't cover a lot like:
Are your intentions clear between the both of you?
What does the other person really want?
Why are you dating?
what goal do you have, if it's not marriage?
Are your intentions clear between the both of you?
What does the other person really want?
Why are you dating?
what goal do you have, if it's not marriage?
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Sure, the guy I dated my senior year and I joked about what kind of wedding we wanted all the time. This was before my senior prom, before we got "engaged" (it didn't last long,) even before we said we loved each other. I thought it was harmless but I think it propelled me into taking the relationship as very serious and long term, which it didn't deserve. It took me almost two years to disentangle myself from the mess.
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Personally...if you are a Christian...IMO you should live for God and He will put someone in your path... honestly... my girlfriend comes for the other side of the country (she moved to be near me *aaaaaaawwwwwww*) we met by a crazy coincidence (it was seriously God) and have been dating for 3 years and are now seriously talking about marriage.
I CANT WAIT!!! lol
Peace
I CANT WAIT!!! lol
Peace
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chanis
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I think it's totally cool to "date" you're out there getting ot know people and knowing yourself...it's not like you're going to go out there and start having a heavy make-out session or sleep around...I think it's perfectly ok...
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kiora
Senior Member
yes I think it is okay to date without the intention of getting married I had my first boyfriend when I was 15 and we have been together over three years and we are engaged now and I feel so privilaged that he will be my only every boyfriend and the only person I will ever be romantically envolved with, I think it is beautiful - you probably all think I am mad but there you go - just my opinion 
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