Would you date someone or marry someone who was once an addict?

[KandiJo]

Say someone had an addiction in the past (drugs, Alcohol, prescription meds, pornography). Would you consider dating them. The person would have gone through recovery and such and had stopped giving into their addiction.

If you would not date them, why? I guess you can answer why for if you would as well, LOL.

 

[LoveDivine]

Say someone had an addiction in the past (drugs, Alcohol, prescription meds, pornography). Would you consider dating them. The person would have gone through recovery and such and had stopped giving into their addiction.

If you would not date them, why? I guess you can answer why for if you would as well, LOL.

My answer would be it depends. I would consider the extent of the addiction (any longterm damage) and how long the person had been free. I do think a person can change and be transformed. I would proceed with caution though. I think that as I spent time getting to know the person it would become clearer if he was stable and unlikely to relapse. I think if you plan to start a family, it is important to be sure that your spouse won't return to his addiction. I guess it really all depends on the individual.

 

[KitKatMatt]

I'd be open to getting to know them. If we mesh, yes, I would be open to dating/marriage.

 

[TheApostleJohn]

I don't really see why I should judge someone for their past as long as it genuinely is in their past.

 

[MehGuy]

No way, porn addiction

I'd rather she be addicted to meth. Less destructive.

 

[KitKatMatt]

I should amend my post:

I don't know if I would be able to date someone who had a porn addiction in the past.

That is not to judge them for what has happened in their past. It is because I believe it would be incredibly unfair to them, considering my personal interests.

 

[sundewgrower]

Heavily depends.
Severity, what it was, and when it was.
Some I'd not want to touch, others maybe but I'd be very careful.
I look at how they are now, but do realize they may revisit their past, and that's the concern.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Say someone had an addiction in the past (drugs, Alcohol, prescription meds, pornography). Would you consider dating them. The person would have gone through recovery and such and had stopped giving into their addiction.

If you would not date them, why? I guess you can answer why for if you would as well, LOL.

It depends on the addiction. I mean, I'm going to consider an addiction to Oxycontin much more seriously than an addiction to Real Housewives of New Jersey. And then I'll choose the oxy girl.

Okay that last part wasn't serious.

But my point is, I think we all exhibit some measure of addictive behavior, and within reason it might not be all that bad (e.g. if she were addicted to kale shakes, crossword puzzles, or Pixies B-sides... who am I to judge?!). However, if we're strictly talking about an addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, or maybe gambling, then there's a strong possibility that I wouldn't be comfortable committing to that person. If the person has been in recovery for a significant of amount of time, then that's a different story, they're proactive in making good choices which I would fully embrace.

 

[Ubuntu]

I personally wouldn't mind if someone has had an addiction in the past, as long as they've overcome them by the mercy of God.

However, in my experience addictions are widespread among Christians too, so I think we might fool ourselves if we think that the junkies or the those addicted to porn are the only ones that struggle. Just have a look at the so-called “addiction tree” (see attached pic).

Christians might be addicted to things which are deemed socially acceptable, but we're still talking about real addiction. For instance, many Christians are addicted to tobacco or coffee in a real, and not just metaphorical sense. They might experience full-fledged withdrawal symptoms if they stop, such as headaches, restlessness, fatigue, irritability, anxiety, etc.

Or a Christian person might be caught up in a “feeling addiction”, a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. Such thought patterns can be extremely difficult to break up unless a person receives help from God. Such things can also be very destructive; I know persons who have made their lives an unhappy mess due to such addictions.

 

[Messy]

Harddrugs no problem, but not a cf addiction.

 

[KandiJo]

No way, porn addiction

I'd rather she be addicted to meth. Less destructive.

How would you say porn addiction is more destructive than meth?

 

[Saucy]

There are all kinds of reasons why someone becomes addicted. And part of me wants to think that everyone has an addiction to something at some point in their lives...it's just that some are less socially acceptable than others.

A few years ago on here I confessed I was dealing with a painkiller addiction that started after a severe injury. I successfully went cold turkey and haven't touched the things since. So I hope any potential future significant others don't decide to pass me by because of it.

 

[TheApostleJohn]

How would you say porn addiction is more destructive than meth?

Pretty sure he was being sarcastic.

 

[KandiJo]

Pretty sure he was being sarcastic.

I thought he might be s well but Mosby people actually believe that.

 

[KandiJo]

Typing on my phone is horrible

 

[TheOliveSeed]

Depends on what he was addicted to; if he is now clean/healed, and has little to no chances of relapsing.

 

[SnowyMacie]

It depends on the addiction. I mean, I'm going to consider an addiction to Oxycontin much more seriously than an addiction to Real Housewives of New Jersey. And then I'll choose the oxy girl.

Okay that last part wasn't serious.

But my point is, I think we all exhibit some measure of addictive behavior, and within reason it might not be all that bad (e.g. if she were addicted to kale shakes, crossword puzzles, or Pixies B-sides... who am I to judge?!). However, if we're strictly talking about an addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, or maybe gambling, then there's a strong possibility that I wouldn't be comfortable committing to that person. If the person has been in recovery for a significant of amount of time, then that's a different story, they're proactive in making good choices which I would fully embrace.

Darth is right, we all exhibit some form of addictive behavior, but not only that, we all seek to get "high". When a lot of people here the word "high" in this sense, they think of illicit substances or even pornography. You can get intoxicated from things like that, but you also can from video games, TV, music, even worship (yes, I've experienced it and science has studied it, the "worship or spiritual high" or is a very real thing*). Anyway, obviously, not everything has the same effect on a person's physical or social life, obviously, an MMO addiction is not as dangerous as a meth addiction. Plus, different substances (physical or not), all have different impacts on one's physiology and/or psychology, a personal with a pornography addiction is going to have a different psychological consequences than the adrenaline junkie, but is not in near enough physical danger.
The point is we all do intentional things to modify our brain chemistry, some are worse than others. For me, it depends on the addiction and how they have been doing in recovery. I don't see addiction as a moral issue, I see it as a health issue, I would date a marijuana smoker over a cigarette smoker.


Sources: http://www.wayoflife.org/index_files/getting_high_on_worship_music.html
http://skyejethani.com/when-worship-is-wrong/1404/

 

[Cute Tink]

I have in the past. I married someone who admitted having been addicted to pain medication. I was told that the addiction was in the past. Instead that addiction became a source of lies and theft that I pretended wasn't happening.

I'm not sure if I would do that again.

 

[Messy]

I have in the past. I married someone who admitted having been addicted to pain medication. I was told that the addiction was in the past. Instead that addiction became a source of lies and theft that I pretended wasn't happening.

I'm not sure if I would do that again.

No me neither. I was married to someone who was addicted to pot and stopped totally, but started again when we were married for a month. If it was really years ago and there's no chance of falling back and there's a radical change it's different.

 

[James Is Back]

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