Would God bless a Large Age-Gap in Marriage?

[racough]

I want to know about whether God could bless a marriage with a large age-gap.

You see, partly from circumstances where I was prevented (by my father) from having emotional relationships with my mother and other women when I was young; plus the fact I had been isolated from women because of my OCD, I cannot relate to older women.

I have read in a Univ. of Pittsburgh study were men who had OCD from adolescence has LIFETIME celibacy rates as high as 72%.


I mean not only can I not get turned on physically but even a younger woman of 40 seems to me like someone older, someone who would be like a friend's mother. I am not talking about a young girl like in high school--in fact when I was in my early twenties I was not interested in someone that young. I am talking about someone between 23 and 30. I am in my mid-50s.


I might add, when I was in my mid-late-20s I thought freshman and sophomore college girls were too young--and still do.


I am not a pervert. I believe in marriage to one woman for life and sex only with your wife.


I know if I had a normal life and had serious relationships when I was younger I would not have this problem (I would like to think I would be happily married to the wife of my youth if that had happened, but I cannot undo what had happened. I might be older in years, but it is like a part of me had been put into a deep freeze and so in relationships to women I am really a younger person.


I might add, I am celibate, and I am not interested in changing partners as they get older. I am sure if I met someone and they got older I would adapt--the same that would have happened if I had started younger.

I know there is no Biblical injunction again this and there is historical precedent. Look at Senator Strom Thurman. who at 66 married a 22 year-old beauty queen and never divorced and only separated after 19 years. They also had their first of four kids when he was 68. I might add that both he and the state his represented were considerate very conservative and not know for what modern’s call “tolerance.”

I could name others but I am more interested if there are examples of good Christian marriages with a large age difference.

I know people will say they will be problems but with my life history and my OCD that is a given with any woman.

You must remember that unlike the other experiences where the man was older, I have had no intimate relations with a woman (I had friends but no girlfriends) so it is not the case of the man “being so much wiser or experienced,” in fact, the woman would be more experienced than I would.


I would appreciate any comments on this.

 

[Ciana]

Hi Racough,
As I understand scripture, God's only requirements for marriage are that union happen between one man and one woman who have no other living (former) spouses. I can't cite it, but I recall reading some scholars feel such a gap in age existed between Joseph and Mary.

 

[cesty]

If the both of you will invite God to be at the center of your relationship then it will be blessed.

 

[Criada]

If God brings you together with the right person, age won't matter.

Most of the marriages in the Bible involved an age gap... due to the cultural norms of the time, where men typically did not marry until they were 30, whereas girls were marriageable at puberty.

 

[Nadiine]

I agree with the other posters that there's nothing in the bible against adult age gaps in marriage or interracial marriages for that matter.

 

[Tenebrae]

I agree with what the others have said.

from a purely sociological point of view, with the different age groups, there is alot of complications, different priorities, different world views, different out look on life etc Its important IMO to make sure you look at the whole picture

 

[sealacamp]

Hi Racough,
As I understand scripture, God's only requirements for marriage are that union happen between one man and one woman who have no other living (former) spouses. I can't cite it, but I recall reading some scholars feel such a gap in age existed between Joseph and Mary.

Yes Joseph and Mary, as well as Abraham and Sarah, and many others as well. I don't see a big deal in it from what the scriptures tell us about marriage.

Sealacamp

 

[Nadiine]

Yes Joseph and Mary, as well as Abraham and Sarah, and many others as well. I don't see a big deal in it from what the scriptures tell us about marriage.

Me either, I think the bigger issue is making sure whatever the age, that they're the right partner.

 

[RedTulipMom]

There is nothing unbiblical or sinful about marrying someone many years younger than you if thats what your asking.

 

[rrguy]

Well Like others mentioned I don't think the age gap would be a big issue. I guess other questions come to mind. In a good marriage there are allot of things important not just physical attraction. Yet maybe thats obvious to you since you are concerned with God taking part of the marriage, which most people forget.

 

[Simon_Templar]

age issues regarding marriage are mostly cultural and not moral issues. Realistically, it is more difficult to find someone who will be able to relate to you, and you to them, because most people that much younger will have a different level of maturity, a different outlook on life, lots of differences.

not impossible though.

As far as God blessing it, the only things you need to worry about are your motivations (and theirs), that it is a man and a woman, and that her parents give their blessing.