Words with regret..

[Isrod]

Hi,
Posting here for whoever is out there reading and able to share some words of wisdom, because I clearly do not have any now. I feel horribly bad and torn. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, and for the past year we have been having terrible arguments. We've been together for 10 years. Tonight I told him words that perhaps I never thought I would say nor he thought he would hear. In an argument I told him " well perhaps is because I don't believe in you". Things have happened in the past, that has built up to me feeling this way. Things like not being a man of his word, or a decision maker that follows through. Leaving me very puzzled and wondering and jumping to conclusions. I feel like my inner feelings are surfacing up and is harming my marriage because I am being more vocal about it. I feel like the words I said tonight will never be erased from his mind and will make him feel lesser than a man. I truly feel I disrespected him. =(

 

[Hearingheart]

Hi,
Posting here for whoever is out there reading and able to share some words of wisdom, because I clearly do not have any now. I feel horribly bad and torn. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, and for the past year we have been having terrible arguments. We've been together for 10 years. Tonight I told him words that perhaps I never thought I would say nor he thought he would hear. In an argument I told him " well perhaps is because I don't believe in you". Things have happened in the past, that has built up to me feeling this way. Things like not being a man of his word, or a decision maker that follows through. Leaving me very puzzled and wondering and jumping to conclusions. I feel like my inner feelings are surfacing up and is harming my marriage because I am being more vocal about it. I feel like the words I said tonight will never be erased from his mind and will make him feel lesser than a man. I truly feel I disrespected him. =(

Before you go to bed tonight, express to him your regret and apologize. Don't go to sleep with this over your heads.

After almost 40 years of marriage, one thing I have learned is to not go to bed angry or hurt. Before you go to bed tonight, express to him your regret and apologize.

I will write more later.

 

[Isrod]

Before you go to bed tonight, express to him your regret and apologize. Don't go to sleep with this over your heads.

After almost 40 years of marriage, one thing I have learned is to not go to bed angry or hurt. Before you go to bed tonight, express to him your regret and apologize.

I will write more later.

Thanks for the advice. I sense the holy spirit telling me this exact thing. We have gone to bed so many times before angry and it has dragged for so long. Tonight's argument really got to him because out of anger he began punching the wall. =( I feel so horrible. I will definitely go talk to him and tell him how sorry I feel.

 

[Hearingheart]

Ok now, I just want to be clear (mama bear here). It's late, don't hash things out, just eat humble pie for tonight and say "I love you and I'm sorry". Hug and recognize you have some growing to do. Leave all drama at the bedroom door.

Blessings to you both!!

 

[tturt]

"...let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" Eph 4:16

11 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband

 

[Isrod]

I tried speaking with him and asked him to forgive me for hurting him with my words..but got the silent treatment and he went to sleep to the living room instead. I really hurt him this time..and there is nothing i can do to erase my words..

 

[Isrod]

"...let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" Eph 4:16

11 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband

Thanks will read this now...

 

[tturt]

Welcome to the forums!

Sorry that you're hurting and him, too. I've said things I really wish I hadn't - unfortunately several times so I do understand how you feel. My heart goes out to you and him. The silent treatment is a common way that men deal with stuff. As wives we want to talk and get things leveled out. But think we need to let them have their time.

Hope the article helped you. It stepped on my toes. I just hope it helped a lot. As wives, we understand the love part of that Scripture but have a difficult time with the respecting our husbands imo. We need to be educated. Of course, there are those who argue that you can't give respect unless it's earned. But that's not what that Scripture says imo. After all, don't we want them to love us even when we're not so loving? Don't we forgive others whether we feel like it or not? Anyway, I'm hoping the article was really beneficial.

In regards to the Scripture don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Know a couple who agreed that anytime they have a disagreement, they both apologize before 10 pm. Of course, now's not the time to bring sometime like this up. Posted it because you mentioned The Holy Spirit's prompting.

Praying to Yahweh and asking Him for healing be extended to both of you.

 

[Hearingheart]

"...let not the sun go down upon your wrath:" Eph 4:16

11 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband

Love, love, love this article!

 

[Isrod]

Welcome to the forums!

Sorry that you're hurting and him, too. I've said things I really wish I hadn't - unfortunately several times so I do understand how you feel. My heart goes out to you and him. The silent treatment is a common way that men deal with stuff. As wives we want to talk and get things leveled out. But think we need to let them have their time.

Hope the article helped you. It stepped on my toes. I just hope it helped a lot. As wives, we understand the love part of that Scripture but have a difficult time with the respecting our husbands imo. We need to be educated. Of course, there are those who argue that you can't give respect unless it's earned. But that's not what that Scripture says imo. After all, don't we want them to love us even when we're not so loving? Don't we forgive others whether we feel like it or not? Anyway, I'm hoping the article was really beneficial.

In regards to the Scripture don't let the sun go down on your wrath. Know a couple who agreed that anytime they have a disagreement, they both apologize before 10 pm. Of course, now's not the time to bring sometime like this up. Posted it because you mentioned The Holy Spirit's prompting.

Praying to Yahweh and asking Him for healing be extended to both of you.

Thanks for the article. I really have a lot to pray about and lots of maturing to do. It's so hard, because we both serve in church ministry and this is the first time we serve and lead together. I feel like stepping down for a little and get my self together. I feel like I need some time of purging as I ask God to make me a better wife, one that honors and respects her husband not based on works but based on who he is and was meant to be. In 10 years being together, I never thought I would feel this way towards him nor hurt him the way i have done. I pray the Lord and his Holy Spirit help us through this and mends his broken heart. Thank you so much for listening and lending words of wisdom. =( =( God Bless you!

 

[tturt]

I'm so thankful and relieved it helped. You know that when we step into a new area, the enemy will often use something to attack us. Encourage you not to be quick about stepping down unless The Holy Spirit is prompting you to do so. Because if we wait until we believe we're mature enough, you might wait your whole life especially if this happens several times. Your husband knows he needs to forgive you. So it's something you guys can work through - of course with The Holy Spirit's help.

My husband and I have learned - often the hard way - through many experiences as well. Our relationship with each other and with Yahweh is stronger than ever - because of Him. He heals the broken hearted - that's one of the Scriptures I thought of also. With Him all things are possible.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Hi,
Posting here for whoever is out there reading and able to share some words of wisdom, because I clearly do not have any now. I feel horribly bad and torn. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, and for the past year we have been having terrible arguments. We've been together for 10 years. Tonight I told him words that perhaps I never thought I would say nor he thought he would hear. In an argument I told him " well perhaps is because I don't believe in you". Things have happened in the past, that has built up to me feeling this way. Things like not being a man of his word, or a decision maker that follows through. Leaving me very puzzled and wondering and jumping to conclusions. I feel like my inner feelings are surfacing up and is harming my marriage because I am being more vocal about it. I feel like the words I said tonight will never be erased from his mind and will make him feel lesser than a man. I truly feel I disrespected him. =(

What you did was express a hard truth... too much has been swept under the rug.
Those things smolder and smolder and one day they "flame up"....as you now know.
I would honesty suggest that both of you step back from ministry and seek marriage counseling, there are some issues that have been kept quiet too long and those issues will eat away at your relationship.
Silence isn't always golden...at times it can be deadly.
Work on the real issues.
Learn to communicate with one another.
Learn to forgive one another...and learn to grow together.

 

[RaymondG]

I tried speaking with him and asked him to forgive me for hurting him with my words..but got the silent treatment and he went to sleep to the living room instead. I really hurt him this time..and there is nothing i can do to erase my words..

Actions speak louder than words. You've already expressed with words that you are sorry. No you have to show it.....for however much time you think your marriage is worth spending on it.

 

[Isrod]

Actions speak louder than words. You've already expressed with words that you are sorry. No you have to show it.....for however much time you think your marriage is worth spending on it.

=(.. Wont be easy. Means I have to bite my tongue a lot... I feel I am still doing him harm by thinking negatively towards him, though I may not vocalize it.

 

[RaymondG]

=(.. Wont be easy. Means I have to bite my tongue a lot... I feel I am still doing him harm by thinking negatively towards him, though I may not vocalize it.

You have to change your thoughts. Your thoughts are seeds that are planted in the ground and will bring forth fruit in your outer life. A good tree cant give bad fruit. Your tree may need pruning. Find the source of the negativity in you and cut it off....then you will bring forth fruits worthy of repentance, and your life will change.