Women Friends!?!?!

[caitlincares]

Most women I know do not have GOOD women friends.
It is easier to talk to guys.

I have more guy friends than women friends.
Women with a significant other (husband or boyfriend) are so jealous of other women especially single women.

When I visit churches the men will talk to me but not the women.
I by no means look like a model - they have no reason to be jealous of me.
They know nothing about me because they never take time to get to know me.
And people seem to think all singles are LOOKING. Not SO.
But men can just shot the breeeze with anyone. So cool.

At this point in my life it is women that I would like to be able to fellowship with.
I am looking for a new church and one of my first questions is "Is there a women's bible study?".
Nothing against you guys but that is where I am right now.

 

[Injured Soldier]

As a guy, I've always been mystified by this. Most girls I know have seemingly good female friends, but when I get to know one of them, it can be quite vindictive at times. Gossiping behind their friends back in quite mean terms.

It is interesting to hear you say that the married or taken women are jealous of the single women, I would have thought it was the other way around. Why do singles seem so desperate to get married then when they are married want to be single again? Seems like a case of the grass is greener on the other side of the fence to me.

 

[caitlincares]

As a guy, I've always been mystified by this. Most girls I know have seemingly good female friends, but when I get to know one of them, it can be quite vindictive at times. Gossiping behind their friends back in quite mean terms.

It is interesting to hear you say that the married or taken women are jealous of the single women, I would have thought it was the other way around. Why do singles seem so desperate to get married then when they are married want to be single again? Seems like a case of the grass is greener on the other side of the fence to me.

You misunderstood - the women are jealous to have a single female around their men.
I think most women are very insecure in their relationships.
The lady I would say I am the closest to is VERY secure in her marriage so I am not a threat - I also have never had the occasion to meet her husband.

 

[Surfungus]

Most of the girls I know have more guy friends than girl friends. I understand that, but sometimes it can get a little out of hand. I'm a jealous person (and I know that's my own problem), but if my girlfriend has too many guy friends, it really bothers me. A couple is one thing, more than a dozen is a whole different issue. Actually that's something I really can't stand. We all know what a good 90-95% of those guys are "friends" with her for.

It works both ways of course, I mean guys having too many girl "friends".

 

[caitlincares]

My true friends I can count on one hand.
Then there is a category I call acquaitences - these can be work pals and even church folk you only see at church.
A true friend to me is someone you invest time in getting to know and that person is active in the process as well.

 

[hischildsindik]

It truly is hard to build good relationships with other women. The dynamics are amazing, there is the trust and time issues. If the other women are married, both are huge, if they are insecure about their relationship with their husband. And I guess I do not understand that insecurity, possibly because I am not, nor have I ever been married, but mostly because if you have a God centered relationship with your spouse then you should have absolutely nothing to worry or wonder about. Married women also have family commitments to deal with.

My three closest friends I met in multiple ways. One was an informal singles group at a couple's house from my church many years ago. She's now in Hawaii living and we talk every week still! Another I met just through church mostly and bit from the women's group. My other super great friend I met through healing the garbage of my past.

I think it's hard for married women to connect with single women, even if they aren't "jealous" or worried of the relationship their spouse may have with us singles. It's a whole different language they learn being married and having children, the focus of their lives has changed.

Definately look into a women's group. There may even be on in the community that isn't related to your church that would still welcome you with open arms.

 

[klewlis]

I have a number of close female friends... but I am unusually blessed. Several of them I met in college, one in highschool, and one since college. I have always had close guy friends as well (my FIRST best friend was a boy!). So I'm pretty comfortable with both.

 

[songz777]

Ummm I dont have many friends, I think if I had just a female friend I would be blest by God..

 

[FaithfulServant]

I gained a number of close female friends after joining a Christian sorority in college. Previously 90% of my friends were male. I agree that males are easier to get along with, but it is also important to have female friends to turn to. There are some things you just can't discuss with guys!

 

[Raanan]

Oddly, I used to have a very hard time relating to guys so I had almost no guy friends. Now I have almost no girl friends and my best friends in the world are male. Only thing I can think of is my screwed up past.

 

[mina]

I think it's hard for women to be friends because many women compete with each other. Even if it's just subconiously, that is what happens. Women want to have the best life, the best man, the best whatever. We become insecure if we feel that some one has it better than us. Then envy turns to cattiness. I think it's possible for women to be good friends but they each have to be mature and secure. I find it hard to be friends with women my age (i guess the whole competition thing). Most of my good female friends are older ladies.

 

[Ashlynn]

I find it easier to talk to men than women- I always feel that I am being judged by women, and I certainly can relate to the married women being jealous if you talk to their husbands. Blech!
But I have managed to have 3 good female friends, and I thank God for them! Because as much as I love my male friends- they just dont understand cramps LOL!

 

[jenptcfan]

I used to have several guy friends in high school, but in college I was very blessed that my dorm/hall was full of great Christian ladies. They really upped the bar as to what I look for in a friend. We've all been scattered all over the country now, but we keep in touch. A few of us have grown apart a little bit(once they got married, they wouldn't get together with the rest of us anymore, etc.), but there are a couple of them that I know that I will be friends with for the rest of my life--no matter where life takes us.

That being said, none of them live near me, so when I moved for a job (to a place where I had no friends/family), life was rough. I learned that it's truly hard to find that kind of friendship. I've finally found ONE good friend (female) here, but it's hard sometimes.

And I do miss having guy friends. Sometimes I'm a little bit of a tomboy, and it's hard to find girls who like to go fishing sometimes (Eww...why do you have a container of worms??? You touch those??) lol

 

[newbiebeliever]

Well I have noticed in my church that some of the married Christian women often like to keep some distance from you if they notice you are single even if you are not looking. Perhaps they feel insecure? But then it is hard to blame them since I have seen some single Christian women "flirting" with men who are engaged and men who are married in my church. When they see a single men, they act like hawks. Sorry I know it sounds bad but I've had some bad experiences with my church.

 

[Learnin'2-4Give]

I am very blessed. My best friend and I met in kindergarten! We are now 44! We are both still single! lol!

My other best friend I met my first day at college.

I have many male friends at church as well as female. Most of them are married.

 

[silwJC7]

I have more female friends than guy friends. I thought that there was something wrong w/ me since it's usually the opposite. But, I've thought about it and I can blame 2 reasons: I only have sisters and in high school I went to an all-girls Catholic school--and due to that I was so sheltered and had minimal to no contact with guys--that's why I don't have much guy friends b/c I never get to interact w/ them much. And now that I'm in college, it's hard to break from it and hard to get used to being around guys now that I've built an inferiority complex towards guys (thinking that they don't like me). It's hard to break free from this complex since you see these guys drooling over girls that wear tight clothes and who are very flirtatious because I'm the complete opposite. ok... blah...blah...

 

[Misnomer]

I have the exact opposite problem, 100% of my true friends are females. I haven't had a real guy friend since elementary. I don't know why. Guys just seem to flee from me or ignore me (even when in a group).

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Like CaitlinCares, I can count the number of true friends on one hand. Surprisingly, most of which are women.

Growing up most of my friends were boys. I was a bit of a tomboy and just felt more comfortable around them than the girls. Even at an early age, most girls are very dramatic and catty and competitive. I have a hard time making friends with females today because I feel most of them look at you as competition. What is the one thing most females do when they see you? They look at you from head to toe, analyzing and comparing you with herself or whomever. I always notice when they do that and it makes me so darn uncomfortable and I start self-analyzing. If that's what they do when they first see you, what will they be like down the road if a friendship develops?

Since I've become an adult, having men friends has become something completely different. This is a whole other thread about if men and women can really be friends. I think it's harder for me to be friends with a man because someone out of the two of you, somewhere along the line, will look at each other in a romantic light.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

most of my friends are girls....

 

[Bluelighted]

I am split down the middle. Half my friends are female, half of them male. My best friend is my brother. It's good to have a person of the opposite sex that you can confide in.